Gettin' Down To The Sounds Of Summer {Kel}

[҉ Kenneth Lorne]

“I’ve been thinking about you all day and it’s been driving me mad!” Kenneth growled, and if his eyes weren’t so gentle, his imposing body would have been more intimidating.

The boy crawled through Kellan’s window moments before she walked into the room herself. She’d been grabbed instantly, and Kenneth now had her pinned against the small bit of wall between her door and her dresser. He nudged the door effortlessly closed with a foot, and brought his mouth to hover over hers.

He smelled like his aftershave, and the smooth of his chin was unorthodox for the usually scruffy young man. He wore a clean shirt and a professionally worn and torn jean. It was obviously laundry day yesterday; that, or he had made every effort to be presentable to Kellan for today.

As much as he wanted to kiss her right now, he withheld because he didn’t want to be the only one mad with lust. Instead of leaning in to kiss her, Ken’s lips skimmed her cheek until they reached her ear, and the trembling baritone of his whisper lapped at her earlobe.

”You want me,” It was his ‘line’. The one he used to melt all her bones to jelly, ”admit it.” He rubbed his smooth cheek against hers, and dragged the tip of his nose lightly against her skin until he was face-to-face with her again.

He didn’t know how her day was, didn’t know if she’d been thinking of him too. But he was determined that for the next couple hours she would think of only one thing. He brushed his mouth against hers, the lightest, most teasing half-kiss in the world. He wanted her, so badly, but he didn’t want to be the only one wanton of human touch. He wanted her to come to him, to kiss him. He wanted her to want him the way he wanted her. He’d wait for eternity for her to say those two words... but it felt like she was going to wait for eternity before she admitted she was ready. Ken tried not to let it show, tried not to let Kellan know how badly he wanted to be with her. It might scare her even further away from letting him touch her.

His one hand rested on her waist, the heat of his palm able to scald through clothing. His other hand rested on the wall just above her.

”Kellan...” He murmured in a tone that would make Reese punch his lights out if he knew. ”I want you, baby...”

[Kellan Grace Callahan]

He had scared her. Kellan was getting used to Kenneth’s surprise visits, but nothing could prepare her for the ambush she received when she walked into her room. She freaked out at first because she didn’t know who was grabbing her or what they wanted, but after those brief seconds of panic and the realization that this wasn’t some attacker who had come to steal her belongings (so maybe he wanted to take one thing from her), Kellan relaxed. Well, relaxed as much as one could when their overexcited boyfriend had them pinned against their own bedroom wall. His hands had been the giveaway – Kellan could recognize the feel of those hands anywhere – and just as Kenneth had probably predicted, she practically melted right into him.

She instinctively reached to his stomach and grabbed a handful of his shirt, her other hand pressing into the wall behind her. She didn’t know if it was the softness of his skin, his invigorating scent, or the way her name always sounded so different, so much more appealing coming from his lips than anyone else’s, that make her feel like she had absolutely no control.

There were plenty of things she wanted to ask him, like how he had gotten in her room or what in the world he thought he was doing, but whenever Kenneth was this close to her she always lost all ability to form complete thoughts, so sentences were most definitely out of the picture. Kellan needed to distance herself from him, but there was nowhere to go.

“I…” she began, trying to jumpstart the part of her brain that only Kenneth had the ability of shutting down. “I um…” What would it be? Would she finally be able to mutter the words that Kenneth had been waiting for for so long? She swallowed hard.

“I have plans.”

Kellan knew how much of a tease she was, and she hated her self for it. It was somewhere near a whole year that she and Kenneth had been together officially, and she felt like such a prude for denying him of what he had been craving all this time. He had been so patient, so understanding with her from the start, but she feared that one day he would get tired of waiting and just give up on her.

Her room wasn’t in the state of mess that it usually was in when Kenneth came to see her. Instead, with the exception of a few small piles of clothes and a couple of random school books that she had forgot to turn in laying in the corner, Kellan’s room was filled with nothing but cardboard boxes. The term was over and she was ready to get out of the school. But first she had to deal with the more pressing matter – trying not to lose her boyfriend.

The conflict was apparent in her eyes when she looked up at him. She did want him, and it was times like these where she hated having such strong self-morals. She wished so badly that she was weak enough to toss the moral compass that prevented her from going through with the things she wanted to, but wouldn’t let herself do.

[҉ Kenneth Lorne]

Ken swallowed back his groan. He had a very, very strong feeling she would say something like that. So... he came prepared. With Plan A having been shot out the window, Kenneth removed Plan B from his back pocket. No, not the Morning After pill, but a flat square container holding a circular disc...

"Baby you didn't let me finish," he cooed against her cheek, and cleared his throat.

"Kellan I want you... to listen to my demo." He wiggled the CD between his fingers. He tried not to look too obviously disappointed at her rejection, and instead tried to look excited. In a non-sexual way. "I just recorded the last song last night, and this morning I went over the details. It's all ready, and I wanted yours to be the first ears to hear it."

If pure masculine attraction wasn't going to draw her in, maybe some good old-fashioned romance would help him out. He ran a hand through his hair, and although he knew he was going to show Kellan his demo whether or not they did do... it... today... he was still anxious to know what she thought about it. He'd put a LOT of effort into this, and he hoped it would catch the attention of some big names out there in the recording industry.

He gave Kellan a boyish grin, maybe to tease her for thinking he wanted something else (which she would have been absolutely right in assuming), and placed a hand over the one she had pressed against his stomach. He flexed so she could feel the muscles under his shirt, and giggled immaturely, the nerves setting in. He then glanced around at all the boxes, and his brows furrowed.

"You pack up your CD player already?" A childish frown chisled its way into his lips.

[Kellan Grace Callahan]

Kellan hadn’t notice that she had been holding her breath until she realized that if she didn’t exhale, her lungs and brain would probably explode. Relief was much too much of an understatement to describe how she felt when Kenneth didn’t press the issue any more, even though she knew him much too well to believe that he had crept in to her room with the sole purpose of playing her his CD. Not only was she so glad that she wouldn’t have to tell her boyfriend that no, she still wasn’t ready to sleep with him yet, but she also got to listen to the secret project that he had been working on. Once she was able to breathe like a normal person, Kellan absolutely beamed.

“You finished it?” she asked, eying the CD Kenneth pulled out of his pocket. Kellan knew how much this demo meant to her boyfriend and how hard he had been working to record it. It was a big deal. So big, in fact, that he hadn’t even told her about it for the longest time. She was ridiculously proud of him and she hoped that he knew that.

“Let me have that,” she demanded, snatching the disc right from his hand. Kellan slid under his arm, freeing herself from Kenneth and the wall he had so nicely pressed her up against. She had walked half way across her room before she realized that she had forgotten something. The blonde quickly retraced her steps back to Kenneth and stood on her toes to kiss him quickly. If she wasn’t going the sleep with him, the least she could do was kiss him hello.

“Hi, by the way,” she smirked, and set off across the room again without even giving him any time to react. She made her way over to her bedside table where her laptop computer was sitting and plopped down on her bed, setting the computer down in front of her. Sitting cross-legged, Kellan pat the space on the bed next to her.

“Come here, rock star,” she requested, smiling up at the boy she adored so much. Kellan slipped Ken’s CD into her computer’s disc drive and waited to hear what she already knew was going to be wonderful.

[҉ Kenneth Lorne]

You finished it? Kenneth beamed in response. Hell yeah he finished it. He actually had butterflies in his stomach... scratch that, that was totally unmanly. He had very manly anxiety as he watched Kellan steal the CD from him. The grin grew to enormous proportions; he was completely satisfied with her level of excitement.

When she slipped away, he felt a sudden, inexplicable pang of loss. Maybe it was the lack of her shampoo in the air by his nose that provided the gut-wrenching response, but he took a step to follow her without even knowing he had. Then she turned and kissed him and those unmanly butterflies reared up and exploded somewhere in his chest. So he was a romantic. Sue him.

That tiny little kiss had the effect of lightning bolt, and it distracted him from noticing she was far away again. Surely he would have felt the need to go to her immediately, if her lips hadn't been in the way of his logical thinking. At her request, and the new nickname, Kenneth was on the bed next to her in a heartbeat.

Kellan may think this relationship was unfair; the way he could get her heart to beat faster without even trying, how he could smile and make her forget what she was going to say... she obviously didn't realize the potency of her own sex appeal. Kenneth usually didn't demonstrate it as openly as she did, but lately as the sexual frustration escalated, his inhibitions were deteriorating. This made him all lovey-dovey, which would explain the 'butterflies'. that, or Nicki sucks at metaphors

"Rock star..." Kenneth grinned and sidled up close to her as she popped the disc into her laptop, "I could get used to that..."

Then the music started. And it sounded something akin to a cat being drowned.

[Kellan Grace Callahan]

‘Unfair’ was exactly the way Kellan would describe their relationship sometimes. It just didn’t seem fair that Kenneth could make her feel like she was falling down the highest drop of the tallest rollercoaster whenever he got too close to her, especially when she knew she could never have that effect on him… or at least she thought she couldn’t. She was convinced that he knew exactly what he was doing and enjoyed watching her dissolve into a big pile of nothing right in front of him. There was no way that could ever be fair.

She was beyond excited to hear Kenneth’s CD. She knew how much it meant to him and how hard he had been working on it. Anyone who knew the charming young man knew that he was full of determination and worked hard to get what he wanted. Kellan, the girl who flat out refused to go out with him countless times before she eventually was suckered into saying yes, was a living, breathing, perfect example of that. She knew how well her boyfriend could sing and how great of a musician she was, so she knew that she was going to love his demo CD before she even popped it into the player.

Or so she thought. When the music came from her computer’s speakers, Kellan cringed. She didn’t mean to, but it just wasn’t what she was expecting. She hoped to God that Kenneth hadn’t noticed her expression because she knew it would just break her heart.

The feeling reminded her of when Angela came to see her on her birthday. Her best friend showed her the maid of honor dress she had picked out, which Kellan thought was just awful. But she loved Angela way too much to tell her that, and instead had to lie through her teeth and convince her that she absolutely adored the gold drapery. She couldn’t do that again, not with Kenneth.

“It’s um…” she started, but she didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t lie to him like she had with Angela, but she just couldn’t tell him what was on her mind either. It was a lose/lose situation that Kellan wished so badly she hadn’t been put in.

She looked from Kenneth to the computer, then back to Kenneth. She couldn’t tell him. There was no way. So instead she took on of his hands in hers and stared at him apologetically.

[҉ Kenneth Lorne]

He eagerly awaited her reaction. He was actually shaking a bit, because his knees were trying to bounce with all the energy he still had pent up. But look of sympathy she gave him had him wrinkling his nose, and he lifted a finger.

"Waaaaait for it...."

He snapped his finger just as an electric guitar was howling, and it cut off and broke into something much more musical. And much less dying-cat. There was a steady beat on the drums, and Kenneth mimicked it with his fingers on Kellan's lap, tap-tap-tapping with that silly grin on his face. His head bobbed every time the cymbals were struck. Kenneth's voice came through the speakers.

"Limits are overrated
Boundaries should be terminated and my
Mind has been polluted
With the undisputed
Fact!

Life's too short to stay sober
So soon it will all be over and don't
Sleep too long or think too hard
Stories come from those with scars..."

A break came in the song where it was just drums and a little bit a guitar solo. Kenneth nudged Kellan.

"What do you think?!"

With any luck his girlfriend would think he wasn't completely hopeless.

[Kellan Grace Callahan]

Kellan was preparing to tell Kenneth that his song sucked, but in much nicer terms. She didn’t know how she was going to do it, but she knew she had to find a way to tell him that she’d rather listen to a baby cry than three and a half more minutes of his song. She cared about him way too much to let him embarrass himself in front of record executives. But then the real song started and the world continued turning. Kellan didn’t really understand the point of the whole drowning cat part, but she couldn’t have been happier that the whole thing didn’t sound like that.

She listened carefully when she heard her Kenneth’s voice take over the song. With each line, Kellan’s grin grew until she was smiling like a kid who just saw a new bicycle under the tree on Christmas morning.

“What do I think?” she repeated his words. Her tone suggested that Kenneth was crazy for not knowing exactly what she thought of his song. But just in case he couldn’t tell by her outrageous smile, he’d surely figure it out by the way she practically launched herself at him. Kellan threw her arms around Kenneth’s neck and pulled herself into his lap.

“I think it’s incredible! I think you’re incredible.”

[҉ Kenneth Lorne]

Her grin was more valuable to him than a million dollars. Her words had him beaming so much that his dimples smiled. And then her physical reaction - it was what every rockstar aspired to pull from their listeners. Ken was a firm believer that music was invented to attract the ladies.

He laughed over the next couple lines. Just being this close to her, the contact, the joy, he couldn't keep his hands off her for very long. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her on top of him as he fell backwards. They were cushioned by her bed, and her laptop was jostled slightly. Maybe the song changed on its own, or perhaps Kenneth's hand had something to do with it, because a slower song came on.

Ken was all smiles still, but he held her gently, rubbing his hand up and down her thigh where it rested by her hip. His other hand sneakily ran up her back and the fingers tangled in her hair. He pulled her face closer to his, and he covered her mouth with his. However, kissing and smiling proved to be too difficult, and his laughter echoed in a low rumble at the back of his throat. He wound up just staring up at his girlfriend as the sweet tune poured over them.

"...and she fell
Faster than I could catch her.
So I jumped
And then we fell together.

Falling isn't so bad
When you don't hit the ground
When the feeling's so profound
And when her arms surround you..."

Kenneth's lips melted into something a little more natural (although natural for him was still a ridiculously huge smile), and his eyes sparked with the emotions he'd never been good at hiding. Come on! He found himself thinking. The song was setting the mood, the mood was perfect. Come on! The hand on her hip was burning to get past that thin fabric barrier, and it stopped drawing circles along her leg.

[Kellan Grace Callahan]

It was always such a rare moment when neither of them spoke what was on their minds, though when those scarce moments came, their silences said more than their words ever could. He was gorgeous, Kellan realized. It wasn’t like this was news to her, or that she didn’t notice this every single time she saw him, but being so close right now made her appreciate his features all over again. The familiar lines of his face, the softness of his smile, the calm of his eyes. He was mesmerizing.

Kellan blushed and looked away for a second, feeling like a child who just got caught taking a peek at something she knew she shouldn’t have been. She laughed, though it was hardly audible, and brought a hand to his face, tracing the lines of his cheekbone with her thumb. She laughed again before trailing three slow kisses against his jaw.

Hips to hips. Lips to skin. Just being so damn close. This was enough for her, for now at least, but she knew it wasn’t for him. He was so easy to read, and once again she felt awful for not being able to give him what she knew he wanted, even if he didn’t say anything. They were back to square one, back to when she first walked through the door and he surprised her.

Her expression changed. Kellan’s shy, curious smile turned into a look of regret and she rolled off of Kenneth with a sigh. She landed next to him, hardly caring that she almost knocked her computer right off of her bed.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, staring straight up at the ceiling. “You probably hate me.”

[҉ Kenneth Lorne]

Her smile, her kisses, for a moment he thought it would actually happen. But he should have known better. When that blissful look faded into something more serious, he felt the moment end, and despite his best efforts he groaned when she rolled off him. The distance felt like she was lying on the other side of a chasm rather than right next to him.

But her apology and her words made him feel instantly guilty for laying the pressure on her. She wasn't ready, and she would tell him when she was, he hoped. It was there, lying next to her on her bed, that he decided he would let her come to him, no matter how painful the wait. He hated the feeling of rejection, and even though he knew she wasn't rejecting him, Kenneth was just accustomed to getting his way. He had never been this patient with a girl before, but that was also because he never felt this way about his past girlfriends.

"No," He assured her, and he linked his fingers through hers. He pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed her knuckles gently, and he put on another one of those smiles, although it was all bravado. "You have no idea how much I want you, but more than that I want you to be happy," it was true, if a little painful to admit it, "and if we... before you're ready, you're not going to be happy." They'd worked so hard for what they had, and Ken really didn't want to do anything stupid to screw that up. They were a textbook perfect couple; stable, happy, abstinent. He kissed the back of her hand before he placed it back between them.

"I'm sorry, if it feels like I'm pressuring you," He added, knowing how much she worried. He wished he could show her how natural it could be, that there was nothing to be scared of. He wasn't entirely sure of the reason she wouldn't give in, and he didn't want to pry in case it was personal, and in case she felt like he was pushing her. Basically, since sex was taboo from their relationship, he felt like they couldn't talk about it either.

He rolled onto his side so he could look at her, lying there. It reminded him why he was waiting, why he was so patient. She was gorgeous, even moreso because she didn't know just how beautiful she was. Ahhh, this mushy song combined with a pretty girl was making him too much of a romantic. He was almost Dorian, holy crap. He leaned over and righted the laptop, and then changed the song to something more upbeat. It was a distraction, something to occupy his time so he wouldn't feel as vulnerable as he did.

[Kellan Grace Callahan]

He wanted her to be happy. That’s what he said at least, and Kellan had no reason not to believe him. She was happy, and she really hoped that he knew that. While her apology may have made him feel bad, his did the same to her. She couldn’t understand what he was apologizing for.

“No, see that’s the thing. You haven’t been pressuring me,” she told him, still staring up at the ceiling. “You’ve been so patient and so understanding and I feel like garbage for being such a prude.”

They needed to talk about this, Kellan knew. It wasn’t like it was the first time this had happened – that they had been so close and she told him no. And every time ended the same way – Kenneth telling her he didn’t mind waiting even though they both knew he’d rather not, and her feeling like such a tease.

Kellan sat up and leaned over her boyfriend to pause the music. As much as she loved hearing his voice emerging from her speakers, and as excited she was that his demo CD was finished, it would still be there after she was done saying what she felt needed to be said. She sat cross-legged and took a deep breath.

“I’m scared,” she divulged, and it was the first time that she had admitted it to anyone but herself. “Sex changes things, Ken, and I’m scared that once it happens things are going to be different.”

That was just the tip of the iceberg. There were so many other things that worried Kellan about taking that huge step and moving their relationship to a whole new level, but she didn’t want to throw them all at him at once.

“I don’t think you realize how much I like you, or how much I like being with you,” she added, because she really didn’t think he knew. “I like us. What happens if we do this and everything changes, or if you don’t want to be with me any more? That would suck, Ken. Really bad.”

[҉ Kenneth Lorne]

He hadn't been pressuring her? Kenneth was confused. Maybe he felt like he was, because he wanted to do it so badly. Maybe he really was accomplishing the cool, understanding boyfriend persona. But he certainly knew Kellan wasn't ignorant to his longing. His brows were knitted together.

The music turned off, and everything turned serious. It made him listen. When she spoke, admitted she was scared, Kenneth wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to laugh, as was his reaction to most things, but he didn't think she'd understand. As silly as he believed her fear was, he knew she wasn't the only girl who thought that way. So he kept quiet, and heard her out. He smiled a little when she told him how much she liked him; them, and then voiced her fear concerning their relationship.

"Kel," He said, almost in an admonishing tone, "There is nothing you, or I, could do together that would make me want to leave you. I mean... would you think of us differently?" He didn't understand her hesitancy until right that moment. He never thought of flipping the situation. Of trying to see through Kellan's eyes. But now that she got him thinking about it, he couldn't help but wonder. What if they did this, and Kellan didn't want to be with him any more? It had never happened before. Sex in all his other relationships only brought them closer, for the most part. But it had never been treated as a big thing. It was something casual, fun, expected. He knew when he started dating Kellan that she was younger, and would have to be treated a little differently than the other girls he'd dove into a relationship with. He never knew that he'd fall head over heels for her though. And that he'd do anything for her.

"I think what it comes down to is trust," He added, and his usual jovial expression became a little heavier. He propped himself up with his elbows, "and faith. Kel, I want you to know something."

He sat up all the way, crossed his legs, and looked at her. It was always unusual to see Kenneth so serious, and if never lasted long. But the way he looked at her was so intense, so unlike anything he'd ever expressed before, that it had to mean something.

"I care about you way too much to let anything hurt you. Including myself. You mean more to me than anyone ever has and I don't just want to be a casual fling. Of course I want to have sex with you. I'm a guy. But I want it to mean something. With you, it can't be meaningless."

He was so confident that if they shared this together, they would be closer, and he wished he could give her a guarantee. But they were both human. And people changed their minds. He couldn't assure her that she'd feel the same, feel more for him after. But he liked to think Kellan liked him as much as he liked her, and if that was true, they wouldn't have any problems. Neither of them could read minds. Neither could feel what the other was feeling. So they could only speculate and hope.