Moving On & Looking Back {Cerri}

[eryk]

Eryk looked down at his now very wrinkled outfit and wondered how he let Nat dress him up like this every time. The kid had a way with words that was for sure. He'd left the hat and shoes upstairs but everything else was on. "Yeah, he likes playing dress up, only in real life."

He rested his cheek on his palm as she rambled, first about Natsumi, and then about them. Inside he was reacting flinching, sticking up for Nat, and looking all abashed for leaving. On the outside he just sat and watched her face calm. Once she was done he decided to answer, very calmly.

"Natsumi was only sticking up for himself. You lashed out at him first. I doubt he'll stop calling you Kitty Kat he picks nick names and they stick." His gaze didn't falter as he spoke, and his fork had stopped shoving the food. "I'd rather you not call him punk, or threaten to hurt him. He's been my best friend since, well, forever. Unless he hurts you first that is, but he knows better. I meant it. Don't hurt him, and please don't threaten him in front of me."

That said he shifted as if changing into an entire persona. "I can handle my sister's wrath, she is my sister after all." He grinned as if the Natsumi issue hadn't even been in the conversation. Then again he shifted backwards in her conversation.

"Yes, I left you...and I'm sorry. But...I felt like I needed to, and I don't see myself doing it again." Staring at his food he blinked when she picked up the near empty plate to go clean it. Another shift as he turned smiling over at her.

"I hardly doubt she hates you, she's just pouting till she makes you bend. Like giving her a present or a surprise." He stood walking over to her hoping wasn't going to be too mad about the Nat thing. "She's going to love her room, and feel so loved. I'm sure she'll like lving here with you."

Not us, but you. He wasn't moving in. Not just yet he still needed the space. Needed to think and heal. No more moving at the pace of light. If she didn't like it...well there wasn't anything to do about it. She might not like it when he told her but he was seriously thinking about moving in with Nattie. Or just live at the den.

"Cerridwen, I want to paint. I want to spend time with you. Okay?" Eryk reached for her his expression soft.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen listened to him and nodded. "Alright...but he calls me kitty cat I think I'm allowed punk. He is one..." She muttered and let it go. Sure she wouldn't call him punk around Eryk, oh how she loved that Eryk wasn't blessed with the gift of reading minds. She would certainly call 'blondie' a punk and another few select choice of names. Oh the joys of being able to think freely in your mind. Cerridwen was silent as he continued talking.

Cerridwen was certainly not 'fond' of this blondie, then again it wasn't like she had been to fond of Rae either. Maybe it was just a funk she went through with all of Eryk's friends...maybe she'd even come around some day and like Blondie...

and the more she thought about that. The more she knew. She laughed at herself for thinking she'd EVER go near that 'punk' and with that cleaned the rest of the dishes and set them in a drying wrack to dry. Pfft. Get along with that kid. Yeah right. He looked no older then eighteen if that, where as she was over one hundred years old...there was certainly an age difference, then again she was older then Eryk but they tried not to focus on that so much.

"Yeah well I've already bought her some things...when I was out yesterday.." She muttered rolling her eyes. "That girl sure knows how to push the buttons and operate people.."Cerridwen smiled and deep down she loved every minute of it, loved being able to raise Maelee as her own, her own daughter, her own sister, a friend. She loved it, and how Eryk could give her such a precious gift, she really, she didn't know how to thank him so much.

Cerridwen had heard the 'you' but as she was trying oh so hard, and as she had promised, she is trying the free leash thing. Let him take care of himself. The only thing she required was to see him at meal times and just around every so often, otherwise he was his own person. She needed to learn to let go a little. He loved her. He told her this. He wouldn't....leave her.

"I hope so...I really do love her...she's my I don't know support? If that makes sense...I just she makes me feel like I'm needed and I can't...thank you enough for letting her stay with us...with me. I don't know how I'll ever thank you for giving me this...chance to raise her." Cerridwen nodded. "I just...I don't know it's all very complicated but I love her none the less. Minerva does too, and she will always have someone with her, whether it's me, Minerva, or dare I say it even Cal, who I'm sure loves her as much as we do..."Cerridwen nodded.

When he reached for her, she left her station at the sink and wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up. "Alright.." She smiled a soft smile. "Lets paint" She said and with that smiled a bigger smile that reached her eyes this time. "Which room first then?" She asked thinking she'd know which one he'd choose.

[eryk]

It relieved him emensely to know she wasn't going to get upset over the Natsumi deal. He didn't often put his foot down on things but he would not have her bad mouthing Natsumi. Nor would he allow Nat to do the same with her. "Okay, he calls you Kitty, you call him Punk. He's been called worse."

Eryk smiled trying to show that he was okay with this. The threatening not so much but nick names, even mean ones he was used to. His was Whipping Boy after all. It made him frown a bit when he remembered she hadn't asked why Blondie had called him Whip. Either the two would find out they could be great friends or it would be another stress. Why couldn't his friends like each other?

"She knows she's cute, she knows she's the beloved baby, and uses it to her advantage. Though I can't say I blame her she hasn't had the best time growing up." Bought her some things...Cerridwen was going to spoil the child rotten. It made him warm and fuzzy inside seeing this part of Cerri. This mothering side. More favorite Aunt side, but it was still heart warming. It also reasurred him that Mae was safe and happy with her. He wasn't quite ready to raise her and she needed somewhere stable. He'd taken care of her alot through his life, but he wanted to grow a bit. To be selfish he supposed. It wasn't fair to her but how bad could it be to live with royalty?

"You know she's always liked you Cerri. I can't count the times she asked if you were coming over, or when we were gonna have babies so she'd have someone to play with." Maybe he'd go see her tomorrow. Take on the wrath without Cerri around so Cerri wouldn't have to deal with it. Instead she would get Mae's love to make him jealous.

When her arms wrapped around him he eased into her. She hadn't made a thing out of anything he'd said! It was...a first. Kissing the top of her head he smiled knowing she was trying with him. He however wasn't trying very much at all..."Yes, to paint! Whatever room you want, you're the artist."

Eryk pulled back a bit smiling at her. "You're amazing, did you know that?"

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen listened and nodded. She just let the Blondie thing drop entirely. No need to put salt on the wound that was clearly there. She would try. TRY to deal with Blondie like she was trying the whole free leash thing. As far as Eryk was concerned she had burned the leash, and there was now no such thing as a leash. Just a set of rules that she'd prefer him to follow, like seeing her every once in awhile, eating with her, she didn't want to be alone but some alone time would be nice. Little things such as that. They needed to start over. Clearly they needed to start over. Slow. A slow easy pace.

They had been through so much, and to not give this another shot was like they had just wasted the last year or two of their life's and she wasn't going to let that happen.

Cerridwen thought for a minute and smiled slightly. "Oh she knows she's cute alright." Cerridwen murmured "The little terror knows it." She teased. "I love her all the same, but honestly, she doesn't know how to keep out of trouble! The trouble maker..."Cerridwen teased just grinning at the thought of what kind of fun her and Minerva got into last night. She couldn't help but just smile, and laugh quietly to herself. She was a terror...but a lovable terror. "Like brother like sister right?" Cerridwen as pulling back to look up at Eryk and then bump him with her hip slightly.

"Yeah she liked me then!" Cerridwen nodded "Then being the keyword when you were around and nothing was so...stressing and intense to her...this was a lot but she is a strong little girl. I'll give it to her...her life as of late hasn't been just any walk in the park. But we're...really...trying. Though we might just have to cut back on all the gifts...if we don't she'll really will become a terror, and she's to sweet for that..."Cerridwen murmured

Cerridwen's heart skipped a beat. Children? She laughed a forced small little laugh. "Yeahh...babies...children. Very very far down the road..." She murmured nodding. "We don't...we don't need and you and I yeah..." She shook her head. "That most have been a lovely conversation between you two...brother and his girlfriend...creating a playmate for Mae..oh myy..."Cerridwen murmured somewhat glad she missed out on THAT talk.

Thinking for a minute she looked up. "My room...upstairs.." She said nodding. Not our room. My. She had a feeling, a sense...it was there, and she wasn't going to push him. Not now. Certainly not now. Maybe in a few months...if not a year but just...not now. "Lots...and lots of black and red that need to go away...and then maybe I'll start on Mae's room after you leave..."Cerridwen stated, more so to herself then anything.

At hearing his words she grinned and buried her face to hide her blush. "Yeah..." She said finally pulling back to look up at him. "I've heard it a time or two..never hurts to be told again though" She teased "But...your amazing as well..so I might have some competition in the who's more amazing department..." Cerridwen arched a brow trying to not let the whole free leash thing get to her.

[eryk]

He laughed at the bit about his sister being a little terror. Some people didn't believe him that the sweet innocence of that face hid an evil child. Mae was a sweet girl but every child has their darkside. Then Cerridwen went around back to the sore area. Back to the part that he'd been there and he'd left. She wasn't going to let that go. Would their relationship be centered on all of the times he was there then wasn't? Not knowing what to say to it he turned his attention to the window. It was still snowing outside, and it seemed to be calling to him.

Come. Be free. She only holds you in chains. Pushes you into the past. Past mistakes. I won't do that. I have only given you freedom. Come. Come. Be free.

His blood raced and he could suddenly smell the forest, but closing his eyes he smiled. No, he wouldn't go. Not yet. No more running. Just because she was saying things that stung didn't mean he got to run away from it. Slowly he turned away from the beconing snow and gazed at the woman beside him. She might not even know how much her words had struck at his heart. All the time his face remained peaceful, for there was no need to worry or upset her. It was his negative thoughts to deal with. No more leaning on her.

"Yes, children. I...agree. Not a good idea." He'd already proven he'd be a horrible father. By abandoning Cerridwen when she might have been pregnant. By abandoning his baby sister. Not for a few days but for well over a month. That dream had died in the snow with the blood streaming out of his eye. "Yes, very awkward. I had to tickle her to get her off of the subject."

Eryk smiled softly eyes covered with a false peace as his mind was in turmoil. Just because he was in pain didn't mean he had to bring her down with him. Not again. Her room, good she'd gotten that hint. He nodded and reached a hand up to brush her cheek. "Yes, your room sounds like a lovely place to start. What colors are you going to use?"

Even his voice lied for him. It's amazing how much you can learn over such a short life. Amazing how much one can change but just one small moment in time. Again he nodded when she said to paint after he left. It would be best that way. He'd be able to spend time with her here then go and...go see an old friend. As she buried her face he chuckled softly running a hand over her long hair.

"Well, I think you'll win, love." She hadn't messed up nearly as much as he, no she was just a victim during it all. "Shall we go up now? Or did you have other plans beforehand?"

Hands going to her waist he gazed down into her eyes pushing aside all those dark thoughts. He'd let them out later when he ran to Natsumi's. Knowing the young wild child the boy would have a large stash of drink he could dive into if need. And the nice thing was, Nat wouldn't care. He would just be there. That's what best friends were for after all.