Moving On & Looking Back {Cerri}

[eryk]

They stood together just outside a coffee shop bags on Eryk's arms and laughing. Eryk held a large Styrofoam cup with steam coming out a small oval hole in the lid. The person beside him held a similar cup, but instead of bags on their arm this person had their arm interwoven with Eryk's. The bags had the most expensive store names plastered on them. It wasn't Eryk's money that had gone to purchase the large amount of bags that he was carrying. No, the money welder between the two was the laughing person draped over Eryk's' arm.

"I loved the look on that woman's face when you told her I was your lover." Eryk laughed shaking his head, his eye and ear in the shadow of a nice new hat. He also stood in a way to make sure that as much shadow as possible hit that side of his face. His laughter was stale, and his eye was cold, but the person beside him didn't seem to mind.

"Well, she was just gawking at us." The blond said with a smile. "Besides it's always hilarious to see people's reactions."

The two laughed again huddled near the building's wall from the cold. Eryk took a sip of his cappuccino amazed that he was even in public. Hiding for a month in the woods had a certain affect on people. He was over aware of everything going on around him and the smells of the town were overpowering. Here he couldn't just be a wild man in the trees, or a free wolf running after a deer. Here he had to be a human. That's why he'd chosen the person he'd chosen to go out and about with. A fellow lycan. The blond draped over his arm was from St. Louis but they were an old friend. If Eryk hadn't stopped by his old house frequently since his father entered prison he would've never known his friend was in town. Last time he'd seen the crazy kid was back in California.

The next person he'd probably seek out would be Rae, maybe introduce her to his friend. Either they'd get along swimmingly or they'd hate each other. Eryk of coursed hoped for the swimming but he never knew with Rae. He hadn't planned on diving into society so quickly but...

"I can't believe you've been living in the woods. Seriously, that is tres barbaric there, Whip." The blond bumped Eryk's hip and the half blind lycan grinned at his old nick name. Back in California he'd been known as the Whipping Boy, Xavier's Whipping Boy to be exact. But then everyone in the pack had pushed him around. The blond at his side had been the only one to ever tell Xavier to stick it up his arse and walk away. Eryk had been fifteen at the time, Xavier eighteen or nineteen, and Blondie? Only thirteen years old. No one knew where'd the youngster had gone but they all missed him, even Xavier.

"Well, I can't believe you've been living in St. Louis for half year and never told me." Eryk leaned against the wall pretty mush blocking the blond from people's few coming at them from Eryk's side. All anyone would be able to see was an arm snaked around Eryk's. The blond blew on the cup in their hand then took a sip of green tea with added rose petals. Still over-conscious of his weight, dancers. The two continued to talk not too bothered by the cold as they sipped their hot drinks while the stars twinkled above them.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen stifled a small smile, no she wasn't suppose to smile. She has a broken heart, she's not suppose to smile. Smiling was bad! But...when her friend, who was loyal, who was with her, bringing her out of this funk she seemed to be in, did something and flashed her wings to someone, Cerridwen couldn't help but smile slightly. "Be nice..."She murmured under her breath" She as she made her way towards the art store. Cerridwen was in dire need of new brushes, her old ones were clearly worn out, and she needed to pick up a few more paints. She had promised she would paint Maelee's room and with that, she needed brighter, more vibrant colors, colors that would match the personality of a seven year old girl. Cerridwen looked to her friend, a young, Sandra, and narrowed her eyes. "Be good..please don't embarrass me...not in here..." She pleaded, a small smile still on her lips.

"Yes mommmm" The girl replied mocking Cerridwen in a friendly manner. Maybe this was why they were such good friends, she wouldn't take something like what Cerridwen said to heart, and she always had a sarcastic comment to throw back.

Cerridwen stepped in, a small bell ringing as she did and looked around. It was so quite, serene, tranquil, her place, this was her home away from home. The good old, reliable art store. The friend just sashed across the store, being a dancer herself, a graceful one at that, she was after all a fae, no noise was heard.

Cerridwen scanned the rows of brushes as she looked for the right ones. The ones she wanted. Camel hair. The perfect, ideal brushes. Snatching them and a few tubes of paint, she went to pay and motioned for her friend. "Come on.." Cerridwen said smiling again shaking her head. "Before you break an easel, or tip over a shelf" Cerridwen teased slightly moving out into the cold bitter air. Her pants clung to her legs, as did her sweatshirt. It was just a normal sweatshirt, saying St. Louis across it, much look a sweatshirt you'd see around a college campus on a chilly day, something Cerridwen certainly didn't wear often. Already her personality was out of character, and now her appearance was slowly changing...not as together. Her skin was turning a rosy red from the cold and she was certainly ready to get some coffee and just go home.

It was growing darker and darker by the minute anyways, making Cerridwen shiver. She wasn't fond of going out at night anymore. Not at all. She avoided it at all costs if she could, and kept Maelee inside when the sun set.

Sandra grinned at her. "Guess who I spot..." She said, seeing Eryk, she knew that would make Cerridwen happy. To see him here. Around people. She had, yes heard just about everything, Cerridwen had called her up, bawling, and faithful Sandra went to the rescue, and now knowing the entire story, she felt for her friend. She really did, and even if she had tried to convince Cerridwen to take the ring off and knowing she wouldn't, she still...couldn't see why she kept it on. why did Cerridwen have to keep that damn ring on?

Cerridwen gave her a curious look before looking up, and all rosiness on her cheeks disappeared. "oh...my god. We need to go.." She murmured, her heart pace picking up. "we don't need coffee...they're there, we need to just--" She was cut off.

"Go talk to him..." Sandra injected before Cerridwen could finish her sentence. "You...need to go talk to him.." She whispered and with that, started dragging Cerridwen along like a little kid. Finally she got in hearing distance and shouted "ERYK" and looked quite pleased with herself. That was until she saw an arm, and then a blonde head around Eryk, and even then she knew she had gone to far. Shit. Shit. Shit. She looked to Cerridwen's stricken face and felt her heart twist. "I"m so sorry.." She murmured feeling herself get sick.

Cerridwen wasn't just sick, she felt as if she would vomit all over the street. This....was not good. It had been a week or two...at least? Well since she saw him, she had found the key but instead, she had thrown it back into the woods for him to take and took her box inside. Why...why was this happening to her? And then she saw the arm and the blonde, and she felt...like she wanted to die. Plastering on a fake, old, soft little smile(That was all she could manage) she walked slowly, as if walking the plank towards Eryk, her and Sandra both thinking the same thing. This...was going to be interesting...

[natsumi]

His friend having brought up an old embarassing memory of back in the days left them both laughing. Eryk actually felt light for once, and the arm on his tightened letting him know his friend could tell. Blondie bumped his hip making him chuckle right before he got another sip of his toffee cappaccino. Halfway through his sip he heard his name yelled from down the street. Lifting his head he turned his good eye to see who was calling for him. It certianly wasn' a voice he recognized. Eryk gasped when he saw who it was. She might not have called out but she was there.

"Whip? Hey, Davidson, what's with the look?" Turning his head away he gave the two girls his good side letting Blondie have his ruined ear. "Eryk, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just...when I mention puppies it's your cue to make up a reason to leave." He glanced at Cerridwen as her and her friend got closer. Whispering he felt a hand wrap around his arm in reassurance.

"Okay, Whip. Anything you say." Blondie wasn't used to this Eryk certainly different from the passive agressive pup he used to know. Leaning out from around Eryk to see the problem he gave the girls his best stage smile and waved. Dyed blonde hair tipped with maroon, with earrings, and bright, unnaturally bright deep blue eyes he was a sight to see. Leather vest with fur around the color with a long sleeved black turtle neck, with black leather pants and heeled boots to go with. At a distance he could pass for a girl but when they got up close they'd see just how much of a boy he was. But the fact that one of those girls was the cause of his friend's distress did not suit well with the boy.

Eryk stepped away from the wall, and Blondie followed still attached to his arm. Having been shopping nearly all day Eryk was dressed in new clothes, had his hair cut, beard shaved, and looked like a shiny new toy. Having a stripper for a friend helped with the fashion issue. Fifty dollar designer jeans, designer skater shoes, a tight black sweater that accented his trim muscles, and a black suade coat. Topped off with his new hat and he looked the best right then in over a year. He was healthy, been laughing, and for once not covered in wounds. Yet he could barely breathe and very more self-conscious than ever before.

Seeing that Eryk wasn't going to do introductions Blondie jumped into motion. "Hello, ladies. Which one of you know my lil' Whip here? I mean, Eryk."

Eryk glared at his friend and Blondie flinched. "Eh, sorry. I'm Nat, but you can call me Blondie if you want." He held out his hand ignoring Eryk's withering glares. This was going to go very badly he could just tell, and if he didn't keep Whip's cool to a mim he didn't want to have to deal with an unhappy wolf later.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen looked to Sandra. "Five minutes...and then we're leaving...if that" She hissed looking to her. "Please...don't..." Cerridwen asked, her eyes begging Sandra to turn around and pull her back, away from this, this nightmare it was turning into. When she kept going, her hand still firmly holding onto Cerridwen's hand, Cerridwen got agitated. "If you had any sense of self preservation at all, we would turn around...now...please" Her voice, withering, growing silent, her eyes going cold as they neared Eryk and she saw his new 'friend'. They grew even colder when she realized it was not female but a male. Lovely. Cerridwen looked to them, and then studied the boy. Blonde. Skinny. So....odd. Some how she could see Eryk with him, and not just as friends. Cerridwen was silent, radiating off coolness as Sandra looked to her, waiting.

Cerridwen was clearly...in no mood to talk, and obviously not to Eryk. Looking up at the boy, she offered a small smile, and raised her hand at his question. "Guilty..." She murmured breaking her hand away from Sandra, the one with the ring on it and shoving it into her sweater pocket. "We're...uh...sort of kind of friends...and yeah." She mumbled.

Cerridwen awkwardly shook his hand, and Sandra followed suit. "This...is my friend Cerridwen and I'm sand--" Cerridwen winced. "I'm Cerridwen, and she's Sandra..." She pointed back to her friend as she said her name and nodded. Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. This was what this was.

Hey it was a change though, at least they weren't fighting, or...crying or being depressed. They were...as far as anyone else knew, normal, and just...friends if that even.

Sandra looked the blonde boy over. "I think I've seen you..." She said suddenly. Cerridwen turned to face her, her eyes narrowing. What? She mouthed discreetly. Sandra nodded. "Yeah...or someone that looks like you...you've been to St. Louis yeah? Part of the traveling dancers act?" She asked eyeing him over. Was he? Or was he not...something she couldn't quite put her finger on was familiar about him.

While Sandra was mulling over that, Cerridwen, internally was freaking out trying to just discreetly figure a way to get out, away, to go home, safe in her home, to paint the walls for the sister of the very man standing in front of her. Oh goodness this day was turning out to be a rather long day...and yet she felt happy her friend at least seemed interested in Eryk's friend. Not interested in HIM but...interested as in they had something in common...that was quite a good thing.

[eryk]

At least Blondie was behaving himself. Eryk noticed Cerridwen putting the hand into her pocket but said nothing. If she didn't want to bring attention to the ring that was fine with him. Why she was even wearing it made his mind twist in confusion. After the handshakes he thought about yelling puppies just to get out of there. Yet Nat and the girl named Sandra seemed to know each other? Glancing questioningly at Nat, he saw the mask slip over the pretty boy's face. Time for stage mode. Great.

"Dance group? I was with them for a bit but I left once they go to St. Louis. But yeah, I'm actually from St. Louis." He used his free hand to gesture and he was all smiles. "But I don't remember you at all, sweetheart. Maybe you saw me at work-"

Eryk gave a sharp jab into Natsumi's side and pulled he back away from the girls a bit. "Really? I mean, seriously, Nat?" The blonde boy rolled his eyes theatrically and pulled away from Eryk. Fluffing his hair he ignored Eryk who was now looking at the sky for help. The non-stripper lycan mouthed the words "Why? Why me?" To the stars as Blondie explained just where Sandra might have seen him.

"At my work, like I had been saying before so ruuudely interrupted. Is at a few clubs downtown. I dance there." He winked an out from a back pocket came five cards all with different club names on them. Two were just regular clubs the rest were his true line of work. "It pays well, and if I might say you've got a body to work at any of them."

"Okay, then! I think that is enough talking for you, Natsumi." Eryk yanked his friend back the bag on his arms bumping into each other. Blondie just smiled and laughed flicking Eryk off before he went to stand beside the wall again. "I'm so sorry about that. Uh, he's not the most...up delicate of people."

This was horrible. "Um, two girls out for a night out?" What was he supposed to say? She'd told him to move on and though he wasn't 'moving on' with Nat it was still awkward. The two had been arm locked when they'd walked up, and the way Nat acted and dressed it wouldn't take much to think 'gay'. Eryk pulled his hat down a little on the right side to further shadow that side of his face before talking again. "So, um, uh, how you've been?"

Lame, question to ask. Circling the cup in his hands now he could barely meet her eyes. He heard Nat cough "Jump her" from the side and he gave the younger boy a glare. What he got was a wink and a finger wave. Why did he have to meet Cerridwen for the first time in a few weeks with flaming homo boy? He loved Nattie, he really did, but he was the most homo boy he'd ever met!

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Sandra was about to replay to him when he was pulled back. She let them two boys talk for a minute before, Nat returned and she smiled. "I don't...remember seeing you." Sandra thought for a minute. "Hmm..maybe it was someone else. Sorry. You dance though?" She asked and then saw the cards, and when she reached out to take them, Cerridwen, seeing the cards pulled her back. Cerridwen offered up a smile "Thank you, she appreciates it but she has a job" And pulled her back before she could take them.

No way...was she going to have her best friend work at a club...especially not a strip club of all places. Jeez. She knew Eryk was gay...and possibly desperate but...Really? A stripper?

She rolled her eyes slipping her hand back into her pocket. Sandra, who was more then interested now in Nat, followed him back and leaned against the wall, and started chatting. She was certainly interested in these jobs, especially that last one. She was about as straight as a curly fry, making Nat here, her new best friend. She was particularly interested in that last brightly colored calling card and grinned as he complimented her body.

Cerridwen blushed as she watched her friend and shook her head. So maybe Sandra wasn't as conservative and low key as Cerridwen...nothing wrong with that... she just made sure to keep Sandra's visit around Maelee short and sweet. She avoided eye contact and stared off at the side of the building instead, though at his question she merely held up her bag of art supplies. "Er...I ran out of paint, and I needed new brushes..." She murmured. "Not that exciting" She shrugged. "You?" She asked looking up now, trying to keep it light, they were just...two people with a past. They were friends. Anything BUT lovers.

As Nat coughed a 'jump her' Cerridwen blushed slightly and glared daggers at Nat, and Sandra looked down. "Ooh...you hit a sore spot with her..." She murmured staying silent. "Shouldn't have done that..." She uttered.

Cerridwen just shrugged it off and sighed. "I'm fine...thanks. How are you?" She asked finally, trying to ignore Nat's stupid remarks and focus on Eryk. "I'm just....you know the same. Preparing for spring early this year...giving myself something to do...working.." She shrugged. "Nothing fantastic" Cerridwen murmured looking up at the stars over head. "You?" She asked again.

[eryk]

Nat laughed at Cerridwen's reaction to the cards but when Sandra joined him at the wall he got them out again. He was paying attention to both Sandra and Eryk. All the while Eryk was trying to awkwardly talk to his ex. "Out of paint? Oh, um, what are you painting?"

At Nat's cough and Sandra's warning he met looked Cerridwen straight on to gage her reaction. Nothing really, and because of nothing Blondie pouted his bottom lip. Rolling his eyes he went back to chatting with the girl besides him. Eryk shut back down having been a little excited to see her reaction as well. "Spring, yeah. Um, that's good. I haven't been up to much. Went and checked on my dad's house. Shopping with Nat."

He waved the bags for emphasis. "He sent me a letter at my old address. I didn't even know he was in St. Louis till a few days ago." Part of him wanted to tell her that they weren't a couple, but another part wanted her to think that. To think he'd done as she told him to. Moved on. Biting his lip he shifted uncomfortably.

"So...how's Maeleeown?" At the sound of the little sister's name Blondie perked up a bit. Eryk felt horrible for needing to ask how his own baby sister was, but he wasn't fit to care for her. And he couldn't visit in fear of both Cerri, and Minerva. He felt sick and the cappaccino was slowly going cold in his grip.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen had her own uncomfortable shifts, as she leaned her weight back and forth between her right leg and her left. "Yeah...painting." Cerridwen mused slightly in a dull voice. "Trust me not as exciting as you think.." She murmured. "Mae's room." She answered nodding. "Yeah...we're redoing the guest room, and finally making it her room..." Cerridwen trailed off. Yeah because her father is in jail, and her brother can't care for her, she added silently. That may have been harsh, even for her, but he deserved it...even if she hadn't exactly said it out loud.

Cerridwen narrowed her eyes and then looked up at Nat. "You know it's quite rude to suggest something such as that. I've been there. I've done that. Now I'm moving on." She arched a brow and shrugged "Plus, wouldn't want to steal him away from you now would I" She asked. "Your little arm candy it looks like...unless you want me to because by all means I accept, and I'll gladly take him off your hands." Cerridwen snapped.

Cerridwen knew damn well that this wasn't possible. To steal Eryk away, to have him laying next to her at night again, possibly surrounded in sheets and nothing more, that was now just a distant memory, part of the past.

Sandra just looked at Cerridwen. Where the hell had THAT come from?

Cerridwen sighed, clearly, his friend had made her just...totally uncomfortable. "Mae's fine but Eryk...I think it's time I leave." She nodded picking up her bag and slipping her wrist through the holes in the bag. "Sandra...you can leave or you can stay but I'm going home...I have to get dinner started, and if I leave Mae alone to long with Cal in Minerva...well I'm afraid of the outcome.." She murmured. "I bid you adieu." She murmured and with that turned to leave.

[natsumi]

Eryk was still and silent as he listened to her speak. His baby sister was officially moving in with the Corrigans. Pulling in his arms to keep them from shaking he stared at the sidewalk in shame. He missed his sister terribly, but he just couldn't bring to show his face. "Thank you...for that."

Then the next thing he knew she was attacking Blondie. Eyes wide he turned to stare at Nat pleading with his eyes. The sixteen year old stripper paid no mind to his friend instead he laughed at Cerridwen. "Kitty's gots claws, and damn straight I'm arm cady but at least I'm pretty enough to qualify."

No one could be a better b*tch that an angry queen. "And the only reason you're lashing out at me is because he's gonna be screaming my name tonight and not yours, Kitty. If you want him then tell him and stopping mopping about it. Never try to cat fight with a professional, Kitty-Kat."

Eryk groaned knowing as soon as Natsumi had picked a nick name for a person it stuck in his mind forever. "Natsumi!"

He snapped giving his friend the death glare. The stripped just gave him a look 'like please.' Eryk turned back to Cerridwen as she was gathering herself to leave. He couldn't just let her go. Not like this. Reaching out for her automatically he stepped forward. "Please, I'm sorry. Natsumi is an ass. A flaming ass!"

Glaring at his friend for emphasis he then focused back on Cerridwen. "Cerridwen, please can we at least talk to each other?"

It was the first time he'd said her name outloud since he'd gained a sense of human sense after healing from the fight with Xavier. Right after the fight there were nights he spent calling out her name as he lay in pain. Now he said it as a whisper a slice of pain slipping in. "Blondie, can go order food."

Nat sighed pushing off the wall but smiled at Sandra. They had planned to order take out take it back to Natsumi's apartment and watch movies while catching up. If he lost a good night catching up to the Kitty he'd be pissed. Giving a finger wave to Cerridwen he walked straight to Eryk grabbed his chin and planted a wet one right on the lips. "See you at home, Whip."

Butt shaw-shaying he headed down the sidewalk. "If you wanna come with, Sandy, you're more than welcome!" He called over his shoulder. Eryk's face was bright red from embrassment, shock, and anger. Blondie was really going to get it later. Head bowed he slowly lifted it to look apologectically at Cerri.

"I'm so sorry. Really, he's like that all the time. Well, he is doing it on purpose for your benefit but he..." This was not what he wanted. "He's an old friend from California, he's from my old pack. We're not a thing, I swear."

Rubbing the back of his head he sighed. "Can we please talk?"

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen glared at him. If Eryk hadn't been here, and it was just Nat and her, she would have....She sighed. Cerridwen, now that she thought about it she would have simply sat there. Taken it an left. He was an ass. Blondie was a royal ass, and if there was someone who knew about royalty, it would be Cerridwen. Heh. She could dub him the court Ass. The royal ass. Cerridwen amused herself slightly with the names running through her head, though it wasn't enough to smile, though it may have shown just a tad in her eyes. She had her back to him, now debating with herself if she wanted to stop and talk to Eryk, or just...fly away and never face him again. She had been...embarrassed and well pissed off, and angered. Though, it wasn't like it was Eryk's fault so why take it out on him?

Cerridwen stopped. He...he had said her name? Why was that even...so important to her? He was so...worried he had upset her, so worried that his friend had screwed everything over.

Sandra watch the scene play out before shaking her head. "This is worse then the damn young and the restless.." She muttered pushing herself off the wall to follow blondie. "I"ll catch up with you later Cer" She called and smiled slightly. She certainly didn't want to be the one between her and Eryk, and it was almost kind of cute seeing them in this situation. Maybe...and maybe not. Sandra caught up with Blondie and began walking.

Cerridwen turned to face Eryk, she was still thinking about a few titles she was giving Blondie there. "Look..." She started, a small smile now on her face, more so for his benefit, though the light in her eyes from her own personal amusement never left her face. "It's alright." She promised him as he neared. "He can kiss you all he wants, and he can screw you till dawn. I don't care..." She whispered looking to him. "He and you...your...I'm happy. I'm happy to see you laugh, and smile, and be able to go out again. This is what I wanted for you Eryk. To be...be a person again." She nodded.

Cerridwen ran her fingers through her hair, setting the bag down after and sighing. "Really...he's an old friend, and Eryk...that's good. Your talking, and eating, and you look great. I mean you cut your hair cut...and new clothes, and you look...well fantastic. Really." Cerridwen nodded. Listening to him, Cerridwen blew out a sigh. "Eryk.." she whispered looking to him seriously now. "Please...stop worrying about me. I don't care if you and him...are together. I'm very happy for you..." She whispered and moved and sighed.

Carefully she took his face into her hands being careful to not touch his face with her palms and squish her face together. That...would be bad. It was a delicate touch, gentle, but cold. Her fingers were very cold. "please....stop worrying about me alright? I'm a big girl...I promise you." She whispered and smiled again. Removing her hands she nodded. "Sure we can talk." She replied. She needed to remind herself...they were going to be friends. Cerridwen needed to remind herself this over and over, act as if your just with a friend. "We can...get coffee and talk, or we can do it here real fast. What's up." She asked as if this were no big thing, they were just...two friends...talking.

[eryk]

He felt the phone in his pocket vibrate and he knew Nat and just sent him a text telling him to call if need be. Even if Nat was mad he'd still be there for a friend. Sighing he promised to make it up to the bugger. Listening to Cerridwen talk his heart in its nice little cage plopped to its butt and put its face in its hands. This wasn't like her, this wasn't right. Eyes moving trying to understand what she really felt he shifted the bags to his other arm.

"Cerri, I'm serious. We're not going to be having sex." And she went on and he closed his eyes. Dammit, Blondie. Sighing he lifted his eyelids when she took his face in her hands. Big girl...don't worry about her...happy for him. Maybe it would be better if he was with Nat at least then he'd have someone to go home to. Or well, since Natsumi found out that Eryk was living in the woods he demanded Eryk move in. He hadn't said yes or no yet but the way this conversation was going he was going to say yes.

"You're probably cold out here let's go inside and get you a coffee." The cold didn't bother him, not when he lived out in it. Stepping forward he grabbed her bag for her and lead the way into the cafe. The lady behind the counter blushed when she saw him from what Nat had said earlier, but frowned when she saw Cerridwen a bit confused. "I'll go find us a seat while you order."

At a table he took out the cell Rae had got him and went to his messages. Let me kno when da puppies come. Eryk smiled and texted back that he would then put the phone back into his pocket. He was mad at Natsumi sure, but it sure was good to have a friend.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen watched him pick up her bags, and she was mildly surprised. Well...wasn't he just the civilized one. Cerridwen watched him, with surprise in her emerald eyes as she followed behind him slowly. Who was this? What...had happened to Eryk? They were both surprised. Both...she almost...well not pleasantly but just...shocked. Cerridwen looked to him and finally nodded. "Eryk..I don't care if you have sex with him. Your life is your business...not mine."Cerridwen nodded and sighed. "but sure..er coffee sounds fantastic." Cerridwen admitted. Maybe this was just..finally the closure they were both secretly searching for. Finally closing the door to something that's been going on...for so long. Over a year really. They had just...invested so much time and love into this relationship, if it was ending, she was going to make it end on a good note. Friends? That...was do-able.

Cerridwen followed by and when they were inside, she looked to the lady who was blushing and smiled slightly. She could say she went out with that. "Lady's man are you" She murmured under her breath slightly trying not to smile. She wasn't allowed to smile around him, she wasn't allowed to be happy, and yet, here she was, looking to the ground to hide her smile away from the lady who was now scowling at her. Which only caused her to turn her back to pretend to cough and not laugh.

When Eryk left her though, she straightened up and ordered just some plain black coffee, she'd add her own milk and such later. She waited by the counter for it, not ready to go sit with him. When she sat, then things would be serious, and she wouldn't be able to smile...to laugh anymore. Serious with them...was always...just so serious. Maybe though, maybe getting a cup of coffee would be good for them, maybe the cup of coffee would relax them both a bit.

She stopped and stared, waiting, and her thoughts were so in depth, that she didn't see or hear the agitated woman calling her name until she saw something shift out of the corner of her eyes and saw it was him sitting and putting his cellphone up. Blondie no doubt. Though Cerridwen felt a little smug about sitting here with him, instead of Blondie...such an immature though. Cerridwen collected the clay mug and little thing of milk and moved into the booth where he sat. She added the milk and looked to him.

"So what's up...what did you...er...want to talk about?" She asked picking up a mixing pick and moving it around in her coffee blending the two liquids together.

[eryk]

Sitting and sipping his luke warm cappaccino he watched Cerridwen after he put away his phone. As she sat down he smiled trying to make things lighter between them. It had been to tight, so awkward outside, mostly Nat's fault there, but still. As she asked her question he asked himself the same one. What had he wanted to talk about? Nothing. He just wanted to be with her, to hear her voice. But he couldn't tell her that. Head bowed over his cup his smile gone.

"I don't know. How bout why you tossed the key into the forest? It's your cottage, not mine. It was your dream, Cerridwen." There that was something. Anything to keep her there with him. What else what else could he ask her? To talk about? She still wasn't accepting the truth about him and Blondie which somewhat irratated him. There was nothing there between the two boys, they'd tried it once found out it wasn't there and moved on. Nat just happened to be a touchy feely kind of person. "Do you...hate being reminded that much?"

If she couldn't be reminded then how did she expect him to handle it? With her everywhere on the walls, the furniture. The entire house reminded him of her, and it smelled of her. The flowers especially. He pulled his cup closer his left eye showing how lost he was in thought. "Do you think...we were never supposed to be. That we were trying too hard...that..."

If I'd been able to defeat Xavier sooner would we still be together? If I'd been stronger would you still be in my arms? IF I wasn't so f*cked up would you love me? Sighing he pushed himself away from the table and stood. This had been a bad idea. "I'm sorry. This...isn't gonna work. I'm not good enough toy be your lover, boy friend, fiance, and I'm not good enough to be your friend."

He bent and picked up his bags to go. Again he was running away. He was always running away from her.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen ran her index finger around the rim of her mug mulling over his question. Why had she? She wanted him to be safe...she wanted him to have a home, somewhere safe...it wasn't that she didn't want to be reminded. "No...I mean...I threw it in..." Truth or lie? Truth or lie? She could just...lie and say she dropped it...or say the truth. "I wanted you to be safe. To stay somewhere...warm. Eryk I still care about you, you have to realize that, and I just, would hope you'd use it. I don't want you to get sick, because Eryk, Minerva is planning to make this the sickest winter yet...she's...just having a few issues of her own, and well I don't want you to be stuck in it, because that means I'd have to haul myself out of bed and go find you, and I'd love to do that...but then I don't want to get stuck in it...and you and I and just...Eryk I don't want you stuck in that. Alright? Warm. Safe. Inside." and with that Cerridwen looked down into her coffee.

Cerridwen sighed and shook her head bringing her hands up to rub her temples gently. "Eryk...can I ask a favor?" She asked finally looking up as he collected his things.

Cerridwen was tired of this. "Stop saying...that. Alright? You don't know how I feel. Eryk your making this so hard for me...to accept this, to accept all of this. I'm still...I love you. I've told you this. I have. Just...you did nothing wrong." She murmured and shook her head taking a sip of her coffee. If he was going to leave...then he was allowed. She wasn't going after him. She would stay put in that booth...waiting. Waiting for him to come back. "Eryk...you were...an amazing boyfriend...and and even better and you would have made and outstanding husband. Your friendship...means more to me then whatever...I can't put it into words how much it means.." She murmured.

Cerridwen finally lifted her mug and took a sip. She looked up to him, and looked to his back...waiting.

[eryk]

She wanted him safe and sound against the cold. It was a sweet thought but wolves tended to like snow. He nodded taking the key out from under his new sweater and laid it on the table. It shone in the dim lighting of the coffee house and it had his eyes riveted on it. The drink in his hands continued to lose it's heat as he sat not even thinking to drink. He listened to her and stared at the key. "What favor?"

Once he'd stood with bags in hands he sighed as she talked. She loved him, he did nothing wrong,amazing boy friend his a**. Another aggrivated, depressed sigh and his butt was back in the booth. Who could honestly leave after a little rant like that? Eryk let the bag fall from his hands and he turned to face her. He wanted to be angry, it was better to be angry than afraid, or hurt, or depressed. So he got angry. All the while his heart sat in its cage shaking its head at his stupidity.

"I was a horrible boy friend that leaned far too much on you. You couldn't rely on me at all, for anything. You couldn't even trust me, Cerridwen." He'd been crap as a boy friend he knew it. He'd ruined everything and hurt her so many times. Fingers started to rub the dip of his nose as pressure built up there. Sometimes that happened because of his eye, when he was stressed. Another lovely pain to live with. "How can I be friends with you? How? Tell me how I can be friends with you when you say things like that?"

It wasn't like he didn't love her, he did, but this was better for her. For him to stay away. "I can't be with you. It's better for me not to be, you have to see this. If we can be friends then that's super, but I don't see it working without you getting hurt again."

Or me.

Eryk shook his head pushing his drink away. No, friendship wouldn't work just like their relationship hadn't worked. He knew her in ways just friends would never know. Over time he'd want her again, want her in his arms, want to wake up with her beside him. Hell, he wanted that now, but he was done with being selfish. Not again, he wouldn't let her get her beart broken again by him. Just keep her away.