Drown me in the ocean.:.Eryk

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen sighed dragging herself home. Work. She hated work. Fiona was driving her crazy. Then again what else was new? Fiona always drove her crazy...ugh. Cerridwen ran a hand through her midnight black hair and looked ahead of her. It was growing dark, she needed to figure out...what she was going to do with Mae tonight...dinner wise, bath, evening activity, bed....shit. She didn't have anything figured out. Umm...Soup, bath, movie, bed? They had done that the last two nights...she was almost positive Mae wouldn't be thrilled about doing it again...

what could Cerridwen do...?

No ideas came to her and with that she gave up. Soup and TV it was again...she had to work on some murals she was sketching out anyways for the cottage... She had managed to get the kitchen FULLY finished, and her room with the help of Eryk, and now she was working on Mae's room but she still had most of the downstairs, and the bathrooms and guest room upstairs....ugh. This was growing challenging. She loved her house to have a little bit of herself, her personality though within each room, she wanted it to be cozy, her home...the place she lived.

As she drew closer to home, she came to the edge of the forest. Eryk was probably in there somewhere... heh. She hadn't seen Eryk since the day he had helped her pain...a few days ago, though to be honest she wasn't worried. She wasn't really that worried at all. She loved him yes, but she also needed to give him his space. Which...was something she was learning to do. It was a good thing because Cerridwen didn't realize that she needed space until she got it...and she wasn't really as worried this time around. When he had left her...he had sure given her space, but she had been to worried...to care nor notice. This time...it was right.

Coming to the front steps, Cerridwen sighed. How...was she going to do this...maybe a grilled cheese instead of soup? Tea instead of hot chocolate and...some fruit instead of the normal carrots? Right. Okay. Dinner...Bath...check, check...now for the activity...gah.

She walked through the door and slid off her jacket as she was thinking...no idea...what to do. "Home!" She called to Maelee knowing Minerva was probably working upstairs in the tower, and not wanting to be disturbed, which left the house to her and Mae. Excellent.

[eryk]

His cook books were spread out over the entire kitchen. Three different types of brownies were done and cooling. Four different appetizers all of which were vegetarian. A spinach dip, homemade mozerrela sitcks, mini queches, and stuff mushrooms. Side dishes included garlic potatoes with other herbs and cheese, grilled asparagus, Sante Fe corn, and a salad of spinach leaves clementines, and shaved almonds. The main course was giant stuffed bell peppers filled with rice, cheese, spices, and tofu. He'd also made special drinks for her and him with virgin versions for his sister. Homemade bread was still baking.

He'd been gone. For days. She was probably mad at him, and he wanted a huge tasty meal as back up. There was even homemade, slow churned ice cream in the freezer to go with the brownies. Eryk had run and gotten her more paint, new brushes, ones the store clerk told him were the best. All that was in the hall with a big bow on it. Mae was sitting at the table doing homework like a good girl, and drinking a virgin strawberry daiquri. The meal was almost done the peppers just had a few more minutes. His sister was just happy to see him, and happy to have good food other than soup for dinner. Yes, she'd yelled at him and he had scratches on his arm to show for it.

For the last few days he'd been with Nat mostly, or in the forest. Now that he'd hung out with the other boy Nat was more than happy to be 'friends' with Cerridwen. Or that's what he'd told Eryk. But they were holding that off for now. Nat had wanted to come to dinner tonight and apologize and try to make ammends, but Eryk had said to wait. Best for Cerri's short temper to get used to the idea of being friends before actually pushing it on her.

At her yell, and the sound of the door shutting he rushed to set the table. He urshered Mae out silently and she scuttled off to meet Cerridwen. Running around he picked up the cook books and checked on the peppers. He dumped the books into a gym bag by the back door and ran back to the oven getting the peppers ready. The table was set up like some royal feast, and there were even candles burning brightly. Eryk hoped Mae would do her job and distract Cerri. He jerked off the apron and set the peppers in their dish on the table.

"Hi! Welcome home!" Mae ran to Cerri her arms wide for a hug. The little girl was supposed to stall her while Eryk made sure everything was all ready. "I got an A on my spelling test today. Becca Farns wasn't very happy that I beat her score, but I just stuck my tongue at her. My teacher didn't like that. So I had to sit through recess."

She would normally be in a sour mood because of this, but Eryk had come bearing presents. A new doll, a new outfit, and a giant teddy bear with a pink bow. That plus a great dinner, and the little girl was happy. The brownies helped.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen hung her jacket up and saw Mae coming to her, running and she laughed slightly. "My aren't we perky..." Cerridwen observed somewhat surprised. "Anyone...call or is Minerva upstairs?" Cerridwen asked as she picked up Mae setting her on her hip and smiled at her story.

"Did you now" Cerridwen smiled leaning over to kiss Mae on the cheek and shift her up higher. "I think in that case we...should have instead of soup, Grilled cheese tonight...that and fruit. Possibly for desert I could make a pie with some apples? Apple pie?" Cerridwen suggested smiling. "Congrats on the test though...I'm so proud of you certainly."Cerridwen said looking to her standing by the door for a minute with her before walking towards the kitchen.

"Now you know sticking your tongue out isn't nice...they talk about being a good loser...you need to learn to be a good winner too..." Cerridwen said yawning and looking to her, stopping short of the kitchen. "Promise me you won't do it again?" She asked the green of her eyes looking into Mae's deep baby blue's "Alright?" She asked "And then think about your actions.." She advised. Cerridwen smiled and rested her forehead against hers. "I'll even cut the skin off the apples for you tonight...I know you don't like the skin." Cerridwen promised "Make them into cute stars shapes" Cerridwen smiled pulling back and going towards the kitchen.

[eryk]

Ut, oh! The presents! Why had Eryk put those in the hallway? Oh, well she was bound to find out. She might as well play along with it. She giggled and rested her head on Cerri's shoulder then pointed with a smile at the paint, brushes, and light bulbs topped with a bow.

"Look somebody loves you." She snuggled into Cerri, and giggled. "And that somebody doesn't want grilled cheese sandwiches either. They want..."

Mae cupped her mouth and whispered. "Brownies!" The little girl giggled and wiggled out of Cerri's arms running into the kitchen. So she'd failed her mission, this was more fun.

Eryk stood dressed in black dress pants, and a deep blue silk shirt that made his eyes even more blue than usual. Hands clasped in front of him he waited with a smile. He really hoped this plan would work. He'd even been by the cottage that day to move in some more furniture. He also laid out some pictures of drapes, pillows, and other decorative pieces that she might like on her bed. Such as lamps, pieces of art like statues, and fancy mirrors for the bathrooms. A nature theme went through most of it with flowers, vines, and the like. Course she'd find that later that night.

Whispering to himself he glared at Mae as she ran into the room. "Nice stalling." She giggled and picked her spot at the table.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen looked to her and gave her a very...odd look. A look of confusion crossed her face as she looked to the girl. Cerridwen smiled when she heard the girl's words. "Someone does love me...I hope so at least.." She whispered and smiled letting the girl slide down. "He doesn't--" She stopped her mind instantly going to the gutter. "Oh I'm sure he doesn't want grilled cheeses...he wants something like meat" She teased and looked to the gifts. "Light bulbs..." She murmured...and smiled to herself. "He remembered...and paints..." Cerridwen said kneeling besides the precious gifts, running her hand over it slowly and looking up watching Mae disappear into the kitchen.

Cerridwen ran her fingers softly over the bow, and then over the brushes and stood up. Was...was he here?

Cerridwen ventured into the kitchen smelling the sweet smells finally and looking at him. "Eryk..." She murmured ignoring Mae for a minute as she went to Eryk's arms. She saw Mae sit...but she wasn't...worried about her, her eyes were all for Eryk. "Hey.." She murmured and smiled and kissed his neck softly. "Why...what is this all for love" She murmured smiling, the tips of her fingers running over his skin and then gave him a confused look. "I wasn't expecting you...you should have told me you were coming...you certainly didn't have to do all of this.."Cerridwen murmured as she looked at all the lovely delicious smelling foods.

[eryk]

His arms wrapped around her his head lowering to kiss her neck. Flowers, as usual she smelled always of flowers. His eyes closed taking in her scent, her body stature, and the feel of her in his arms. Finally in his arms. As she pulled away a bit he smiled tilting his head in a way that subconsciously hid his eye and ear.

"I did it because I've been gone, and I missed you." Kissing her cheek he pulled away from the hug completely his hand dropping down to hold her hand. "Besides I didn't get to cook for a month it was driving me insane."

Eryk chuckled softly leading her to the table. "And I also demand that I clean up afterwards. You can get Mae washed up and then we can watch a movie." Another kiss to the cheek and he dropped her hand to pull out a chair for her to sit at. Mae watched the two like one would watch their parents showing each other love. Whenever Cerridwen sat he helped scoot the chair in then sit himself. He picked up a plate and put a little of each onto it then passed it to his sister. Cerridwen could pick and choose whatever she wanted, however much she wanted.

"Please, eat. I made it especially for you two." Mae smiled and dove in so very glad for her brother's cooking back. Eryk returned the smile softly and glancing at Cerridwen. He'd picked a seat purposefully to hide his bad side from her. Leaning back he waited for Cerridwen to get what she wanted. Nothing had meat in it, and some of it was even vegan. It meant he'd need to go hunting when everyone was asleep, but he could fake it for dinner. Over the month he found controling the wolf was much easier when he had a protein digesting in his stomach. Fit the wolf's diet and all.

Mae started going on about school and Eryk just sat and watched and listened. It felt good to have some place he could somewhat call home.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen hugged to him and like him, breathed in his scent. So earthly, so...much he smelled of dirt and leaves. She loved it, if she could, Cerridwen would have never let go ever and just forever breathed him in. "You smell lovely...sweetheart..." She murmured, a new name for him but one of affection none the less. She snuggled into him for a minute before breaking apart like he, and going to sit. He pulled her chair out for her and she merely smiled and thanked him. This was...new. Why pulling out her chair? She was fine, she could do it herself after all...

"I bet it was driving you nuts..no cooking...I remembered how much you loved it. Maybe you can open up a shop...or a cafe or something small...that would be a good job for you Eryk..."Cerridwen murmured.

She picked up a spoon and put a little bit of this and a little bit of that on it. It was just...so much and her appetite had gotten smaller since he left, not eating as much, not really being able too. Cerridwen nibbled as she listened to Mae talk about school and her life. It was so nice having Eryk come back...to be back around. She had noticed the scratches on his arms, but wouldn't question him about them when Mae was around. She had no idea Mae would have done them herself.

When dinner was mostly finished and Mae had grown quite, Cerridwen smiled. "Right you sweet angelic angel I know your not...time for a bath"Cerridwen teased. "Eryk I'll be down to help in a minute, let me get her a bath started..."Cerridwen said putting her napkin on her her empty plate and picked up Mae. "You...need a wash. Your hair is dirty" Cerridwen smiled and kissed her nose. "Bubbles this time or no?" Cerridwen said as she headed for the door snuggling into Mae, holding her close.

[eryk]

Mae had of course opted for bubbles giggling and pointing the way to the bathroom with a cheer of "Bubbles!" Bubbles meant that he had a longer time to clean by himself. Not sure if Cerridwen would have anough left over containers he'd brought plenty with. After getting all the food put away he started cleaning the massive amount of dishes. Working at a cafe he learned to clean dishes quickly, and was breezing through them. He set out the ice cream to thaw as the two upstairs dealt with 'the angel' and her dirty hair.

Eryk had noticed that Cerri hadn't eaten much but said nothing. It wasn't his place to tell her to eat more, that was her choice. It was her body. Though he had noticed she'd gotten thinner. Yawning he rotated his neck while working. He'd forgotten how late Blondie liked to stay up. Crazy boy. Eryk still hadn't told Cerri that Nat had offered Eryk a home, and now even a job. Not stripping, but as a body guard, and personal chef for the him and other strippers. Eryk laughed at the body guard nonsense, but he was still considering personal chef.

Sitting aside the last plate to dry he turned to lean against the counter. Head back, eyes closed he sighed wondering how long he could put this charade up for them. How long could he play this part? This I'm all better, and everything is all sunshiny now, part. He'd try for as long as possible, and release the truth into the trees. Howling was more fun than he'd thought. Eryk dropped his head staring at the towel in his hands. Lies...all of this now was lies. Before he'd been honest and ruined everything. Time to try out lying.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen swiped up the girl, and let her settle on her hip, as she moved from the kitchen and up the stairs slowly. Cerridwen was silent but couldn't help but smile the entire time. Through the warming of the bath water and the splashing of the small girl. Cerridwen couldn't keep it off her face. Whenever he was around, lately, he had been able to keep her happy, smiling, even if it was small, it was still there. Watching Mae bathe, Cerridwen kept thinking about her brother. She probably should have been nagging Mae to use the soap and clean herself more then play but tonight was special. Tonight Eryk was with them and she was more then eager to be more lenient on the whole bathe and be thorough rule.

"Done yet?" Cerridwen asked looking up at the young girl in the tub. Figuring she probably wasn't even paying that much attention, Cerridwen stood. "I'll be right back..." She murmured and left her alone. Mae was seven. She didn't need someone to be babysit her while she was in the tub.

Moving out into the hall, Cerridwen hurried, down the hall and down the stairs. She wanted to be with Eryk, she wanted to spend as much time with him as she could get in. "Hey...you started and finished cleaning without meeeee!" Cerridwen said, though she was deep down somewhat glad she didn't have to clean. It wasn't one of her most favorite activities. "Thank you for dinner..." She murmured moving across the kitchen towards him. "It was really...really yummy, and I'm sure Mae was sick of soup, soup and more soup.."Cerridwen mused, a small musical laugh slipping through her lips and out into the open space.

She slipped her arms around him and pulled him closer to her and kissed him.

"Mae should be down in a minute...just so you know" Cerridwen assured "She just needs to finish her bath...and I know you have her night planned out, movie then bed..but I was some what curious...what did OUR night entail?" She asked grinning up at him now, arching a brow and waiting eagerly for him to tell her what he might have possibly planned. "And if nothing is planned I'm sure we can certainly think up something entertaining." Cerridwen mused seductively.

[eryk]

He'd heard her coming down the stairs and wiped away the shadows from his face before she entered the room. Smiling as she came into the room he tossed the towel to the side before wrapping his arms around her. He smiled again as she thank him for the dinner but his clear eye went a bit dark. Time to touch a not so lovely subject.

"Yes, I see how much you enjoyed my dinner. I mean the birds were calling themselves fat from watching you." Hands slipping to rest on her narrow hips he looked at her worry slipping over his features. "So...when did you start this starvation diet?" Maelee wasn't in the room to witness this what might be the beginning of a fight. That's the main reason he hadn't brought it up during dinner, and it wasn't really his business. He was worried however and wanted to at least show it to her. That he cared. In truth he felt like he knew the answer anyway but waited for her to tell him if he was right or not.

Eryk sighed into the kiss slipping a hand up to cup the side of her face gently. As usual the kiss ended all too soon for his liking but Mae was still up and about. He could even hear her laughter from upstairs. Dropping his dark blue orb to her his heart did a little dance at the tone of her voice and the look in her eyes. Other things lower down reacted making him shift so as to not be so closely pressed against her.

"Well, I think I remember you saying something about wanting to meet the wolf..." Yes, dodge sex. That was a great idea. Eryk tilted his head slightly hiding his face the best he could in the well lit kitchen. It was subconscious a nervous reaction to the thought of getting phsyical with her. "Then afterwards we could try out some of your ideas. We have all night after all."

His voice was low and hesitant his features calm and closed. He licked his suddenly very dry bottom lip not meeting her gaze. Oh, how he wanted her, but he had something to hide. Last time was wild and crazy without much thought in a place with no lights. She might want to try something different. And things had happened since that night. Things that hadn't healed. Things she'd see and think the wrong thing, and get angry. If he shifted at least one more time he was sure the marks would heal enough to just be more scars. Scars she was used to seeing. Fresh wounds she was also used to ut there wasn't any Xavier to blame them on anymore. This time she'd have questions. Questions he couldn't answer.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen looked up at him. Starvation diet? What? Cerridwen shook her head. "Eryk...what are you talking about? I...eat all the time" She said nodding. "Just...I mean my appetite is smaller...nothing wrong with that yeah?" Cerridwen asked and saw his worry. Shaking her head she tried getting him to smile. "Don't worry...really. I'm fine. I'm healthy. Just....smaller. I promise. If there was anything wrong then you'd be the first to know. Promise" Cerridwen lied. Okay so maybe he wouldn't be the first to know...Minerva would be...and Cal...and well if it was something serious she probably wouldn't tell him in hopes that it would either A) pass or b) Not worry him. She didn't want to do that. Eryk had enough on his plate. He didn't need any of her problems as well. "Thank you for caring though...your to sweet" She murmured and kissed his lips again urging him to change the subject. Her weight loss wasn't his business, and she didn't want it to be. It was her business. Not his. What she did was up to her.

Cerridwen shifted as he shifted and looked to him. "Really...don't worry. You don't worry about me, and I'll only worry about you...well everyday of my life" She whispered teasing and sighed.

The wolf? Ooh...the wolf. Yeahh...funny story about the wolf. "Love...why...why would I want to meet the wolf?" She asked "I mean...sure some day...but now? Right now? I mean I remember past encounters we've had and I really...as much as I love the wolf I think I'd like to hold off meeting him tonight...isn't a full moon tonight anyways? That...I mean I trust you..." She trailed off "Don't get me wrong of course I trust you, I love you but the wolf...Eryk...not tonight? Alright?" She asked.

Cerridwen didn't want to start any fights, and this was certainly one battle she didn't want to fight tonight, but the wolf scared her. She was afraid of it's power, of what it could do, do to Eryk...do to her, and she knew, Eryk could fight back, that she could fight back as well, be safe and all...but still the thought that it...something might go wrong, it frightened her. "Plus, meeting the wolf...we both know he isn't fond of me..." She murmured stroking his face softly.

Putting on a smile for him, Cerridwen pushed back her hair, and sighed. "We can...just I guess sit around then. Or...take a walk or something..." She murmured shrugging. "I mean it's not like we have to have sex all the time right?" Cerridwen nodded "I mean I'm surprised we haven't made a mistake yet and...you know something happening that it shouldn't..." She trailed off. "But anyways, yeah, maybe cutting back would be good too," She rambled on and on "And I mean we said we'd take it slow yet? That...certainly not slow." Cerridwen nodded.

"Wow...so yeah..." Cerridwen murmured her face slightly pink. Rejected.

Total rejection.

[eryk]

Her ramblings of how she was fine, and that he shouldn't worry about him was cute at first. Then she just kept going, and he got the hint. Sinking deeper behind the lies he smiled warmly kissing her back each time. Again she couldn't rely on him. Again she pushed him away. If she pushed hard enough...Smiling he touched her cheek the warmth not reaching his eye, but he wasn't a perfect liar. Yet.

"Alright, I get it. I'll leave it alone. But if I start seeing your ribs I'm going to worry." He sighed trying his best to keep the smile in place. "No, if I'm not allowed to worry you certainly aren't. There's nothing to worry about anyway. I'm perfectly fine now." Eryk kissed her cheek then stroked that spot with his thumb. Then she went down an even darker path.

His face went blank as she just kept going on about not wanting to meet the wolf. His hands dropped and rested his palms against the counter staring at the ground. Halfway through it his hands were gripping the counter enough for the material to groan with the strength. That's when he let go.

"It's not the full moon, but it's fine. You don't have to meet him." Ever. Eryk touched her face, a delicate touch of the fingertips. "Don't worry about it. You don't have to meet him." She called him love and he'd barely even said her real name. No pet names, nothing. At her 'I trust you' remark his features went dark and he flicked that dark look at her but in a flash it was gone. "Cerridwen. Really. You don't have to worry about it. Here I'll take the stress off completely. You don't ever have to worry about it."

In the forest not so long ago she'd wanted to meet the wolf, had said she was excited to meet it. Hadn't she? It was all a ploy to get him back. She no more trusted him than she did before. He kissed the hand stroking his face smiling back at her.

"Of course. We'll move slow. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." His voice was calm, peacefull and that peacefullness traveled to his expression. He knew one thing. He wouldn't be staying the whole night. The forest, the night, already called to him burned it's need into his veins. This is what their relationship had turned into. Hopefully she didn't feel it. He loved her, cherished her, but he didn't trust her. He felt a giant wall between him and her, and that wall just kept getting bigger.

Mae stood at the entrance of the kitchen watching them. Instead of interrupting them she backed into the living room to pick a movie to watch. Her brother was finally back that was good enough for her. She slipped in The Little Mermaid and sat on the couch her knees to her chest. He'd been so happy when he'd come home earlier. But now it was like he wasn't there. He looked happy but it was distinctly different, he smiled but his eyes were like her father's. Cold.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Alright, I get it. I'll leave it alone. But if I start seeing your ribs I'm going to worry...She smiled a small smile. "Yeah...sure.." She muttered. Don't life up my shirt and you should be fine then...seeing ribs wasn't a bad thing. It was just...a meh thing. She's eat more when she was ready, that and when her appetite returned. She really needed to stop being like this. Hiding things from him...lying...not being truthful, but it hurt...when she was truthful with him it always hurt her, hurt him, and if she...lied..pretended things were good between them, then maybe it would be good. It would be all better soon. She could hope. She could dream, but mostly she could hope. Hope things would grow better, that his wounds would some day heal. That maybe some day in some far off utopia things would be okay, that they could have that house and that family, and that world they've strived for.

And then again maybe not.

The dark looks worried Cerridwen but she didn't let it register on her face. Not right now. She couldn't. Happy. Light. For Maelee at least. If Eryk wanted to be--he touched her cheek and she laid a hand over his. He was trying. Trying as hard as she was. Maybe they could do it. If Eryk was trying this hard...and she was trying hard, maybe it would work...or shatter in pieces.

As he talked about her not meeting him, he said ever. "No...no I mean...I do want to...you know make amends with him, just..." Cerridwen trailed off her face going to the floor. "Not tonight alright? Just let me...figure out...what I want to do and say...around him and you and yeah."Cerridwen shut up and looked to him.

Hearing the movie start, her eyes went wide. "Oh Mae started without us.." She murmured "WE should..probably go...watch..."Cerridwen trailed off and with that pulled him towards the living room no longer wanting to converse with him...just think and figure out a way to get them...to be happy...be okay. Something.

[eryk]

This time he stood in silence as she responded he just held her hand in his and listened. He kept his face completely calm but inside was a different story. The wolf paced and growled and it was like the inside of his skin had fire ants walking on it. His heart was beating too fast and he had to work to control his breathing. It suddenly felt very hot in the room and the walls started moving closer together. He smiled for her, he held her hand, and he listened as if nothing was wrong. Inside he felt like he was about to explode. He wanted to scream at her. Instead he smiled at her.

"No, Cerridwen. It's alright. I'll keep that...thing away from you. You don't need to worry about it." He nodded eyes light as she led him to the living room. Eryk went over to his sister scooped her up and plopped her on his lap. Hugging her he stared in the direction of the TV but his good eye was blocked by his sister's back. Instead all he saw was darkness, and there he sat like that.

Mae ended up curled in his lap her head drooped on his chest with her hands curled up under her chin. As the credits scrolled up the screen he stood and took her to her room. He laid her down and covered her up with her flowery blanket and bent to place a kiss on her forehead. Straightening he turned to leave only to have his hand grabbed by a small hand.

"Rykkie..." He turned and smiled at her telling her shh, but she shook her head. "Don't...don't turn into Da...I don't want to see you like that." Eryk stunned sat on his sister's bed his head bowing he held her hand. He traced a circle in her palm starign at that small delicate hand. Sighing he stood kissed her forehead against and left the room his hand sliding down the wall to flick the light switch off. The last thing he heard before shutting her door was the sniffles of her crying.

Back against the wall outside his sister's room he thunked his head back his heart twisting. First Cerridwen now Maeleeown. The two of them were going to drive him into the forest for sure. He ran a hand through his hair and went to the bathroom splashing cold water onto his face. When he lifted his head he met a stranger in the mirror. His mother's eyes stared back at him but it was his father who stared out of them. Mae was right. Eryk turned off the water and stood there the cool droplets dripping off his face.

"I just don't belong here." He whispered eyes staring but not really seeing. "All I do is bring them pain." His eyes closed as a rush filled his body, the wolf wanted out to help him take away the pain. "No, I can't just leave them, I...can't...even if I want to...I can't." Bending at his waist he set his forehead onto his arm that lay flat on the bath counter. He was losing to the wolf he could feel it but it was violent like in the past he just didn't want to feel anymore. He wanted to feel snow beneath his paws, feel that rush, to be free. No ties to break and crush his heart. That's what he wanted and ached for but he wouldn't abandon them. Not again. Even if it meant he turned into his father. At least he could say he didn't leave them. At least he could fake a smile and...die a little inside each day.

Eryk stayed like that fighting the wolf and just breathing. He didn't know how long, and he'd forgotten the rest of the world. He'd also forgotten to shut the door.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen had fallen asleep watching the movie. Her mind, elsewhere. She didn't expect to see what she did in her dream.

Cerridwen pushed aside a pine branch and looked around. She was in the forest. A place she hated. A place she didn't want to be, it was dark, and there...was fog. She could hardly see. Why? Why would her dreams do this to her? Why would they put her in this state of panic, fear, terror. Walking, she called for Eryk To save her. To come to her. "Eryk" She called on the verge of tears as she moved slowly, afraid of traps, afraid to be attacked that she couldn't get home, to her sister, to her mae-bee. Oh how she shouldn't have lied to Eryk, how she should have been straight forward with him. Why was this happening? Why couldn't she find her home. Was she really this lost within?

Cerridwen shook her head trying to take calm breaths. She was okay. She was okay. She could do this. Cerridwen swallowed and looked around. She couldn't fly. The brush was to think to break through, it would only damage her wings, and even then...she doubted she could break it.

Breathe. Breath in and out..breath in and out. Cerridwen heard these words but...they weren't hers? How could words of someone else be in her head? Cerridwen was losing it. Clearly. How could this be? Taking another step, she pushed aside another branch of a pine and saw an Angel. Such a beautiful Angel. Long blonde hair, big billowy wings, similar to a fae, so very beautiful and she was looking at Cerridwen, startled, Cerrridwen took a step back but the branch was gone, and she was now in a clearing that hadn't been there a few minutes ago. The Angel stared at her, she didn't look evil. Certainly not. She looked...well nice. She looked like someone that would comfort their child, someone who loved, and she felt she knew the angel some how...but how.

"Wh-who are you?" Cerridwen breathed quietly staring at her still unsure what this was. This was one serious acid trip...because there was no way this was a regular dream. What had Eryk put in his dinner?

The angel smiled a small sweet, almost loving smile beckoning for Cerridwen to come closer, come to her. That's what she wanted, but Cerridwen just shook her head, her emerald eyes searching for a way out, a way to leave, to leave the angel forever...the beautiful angel that had come to save her it seemed.

Once more she beckoned, almost pleading for her, but once again Cerridwen just shook her head. Then the angel did the most peculiar thing. She lifted her hand referring to the ring on her finger.

Oh...my...god.

Cerridwen figured out who it was alright. She had seen that ring. Only once. Once before she saw it, when Eryk showed her...but this, this wasn't? It couldn't be...why was she here? Of all places? Shouldn't she be saving Eryk? Saving her son? Helping her daughter? She didn't know Cerridwen, Cerridwen was the one causing problems for Eryk, Lilyandra shouldn't be here...she should be...helping her family. Her husband is in jail...I mean if that didn't scream 'I have problems' then she had no idea what did, but it didn't matter now.

Stepping forward Cerridwen stared at the angel before her. Seeing now...in a way, though she may not have looked like Lilyandra...but the two girls both shared very similar qualities. Both pair of eyes, shined, glittered, delicate wings graced their strong, poised backs, one with hair as soft as the earliest morning rays and the other with hair as black as the midnight sky, and yet, so similar. Cerridwen reached out a hand, and the angel took it, and held it. They stood for a minute like that, staring at each other, one frowning, the other smiling.

Finally Cerridwen learned to smile as well.

Cerridwen opened her mouth to speak but the other only put a single finger to her lips to indicate silence. She wasn't mad. She wasn't angry with Cerridwen. How Cerridwen picked that up, she wasn't sure but she looked at the angel before her, and some how, Eryk's mother, she wasn't mad. She was....was well happy. How could a woman like this be happy? The girl before her ruined her son's life, her husband was in jail because of her, and her daughter...was being taken care of because of her. Some how, Cerridwen felt a wave of relaxation come over her. She was taking care of Mae. Maeleeown.

The angel inhaled deeply and then exhaled. None of the past mattered now. That was her intent. That was her reason for being. "Save him. Free him. He'll come back." The angel whispered and smiled again, Cerridwen looked to her, confused at first and then smiled.

Sitting up startled, Cerridwen looked to her hand, the movie was over, everything was dark. Save him. Free him....but would he come back?

Cerridwen sitting up with more stability looked at her own hand. The very hand his mother had held, the very hand that may have once been used to comfort Eryk. Would he....would he let her? Would he let her comfort him? Cerridwen was confused, and yet she felt as if she knew what to do. She couldn't pretend. She couldn't lie. That was first. She knew that. But she needed to save him...the wounds needed to heal, and he needed to be...free.

Cerridwen felt her legs rise.

Going up the stairs she heard him, and for once she had never felt...so sure. She knew what she had to do this time. Shaking her head, she wiped any sweat that may have been there and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Bathroom. She could hear him. She could hear him talk.

Walking into the bathroom she stood up straight. She didn't go further then the door.

"Eryk." She said her voice growing calm. She had no idea what she was going to say...should she tell him? She saw his mother? Then again it was a dream it could have been a major acid trip...but maybe that dream...happened for a purpose, maybe she was suppose to have that dream. Maybe this would help him. "Eryk...I-I...need to stop. Lying. Pretending. Being someone I'm not. I've been trying...to keep you leash free...and as I tried...the leash only grew longer, but you weren't free. You need to be free. You leave. I'll be here waiting. I'll..." She said slowly and smiled a small smiled. "Will be here waiting." She assured him and with that, her hurt beating quicker, she felt a burst of energy, something she hadn't felt, not since she was a child, and she had the urge to...go plant. Play. Wake Maelee? Maybe. Go run and play? Possibly, but Eryk needed to go be free, and with that, one more smile, Cerridwen turned to go seek out Mae. If she was tired, then Cerridwen would watch the sleeping child and admire her beauty. Just like her mother. So very much like her mother.