Is This Just A Crush? (Rae)

[Eve Stone]

She'd picked a time in the day in which nearly no one would be at the Cave to talk to Rae. After training intensely sense their last date at the fight she wanted some relaxation. She also wanted some answers, and to maybe clean Rae's apartment. Hovering near the bar she nervously waited for the janitor person to go get Rae. Knowing her luck the punk rocker would be asleep.

Dressed in hand-me-downs Eve didn't look striking, pretty, or even slightly date-like. Her hair was in a knotted bun, thing, that had required a lot of hair ties, and it was clean for once. Actually still wet from the shower she'd taken before running here.

Thinking the janitor person had forgotten, or given up waking Rae up Eve drifted over to the stage. Had the janitor even spoken english? Not remembering she climbed onto the stage and started wondering. She touched various things set up picturing Rae rocking it out with a screaming, thrashing crowd. It made her smile. It amazed her to think that she was 'dating' a rock star. The pictures of them at the fight had her parents calling, brother's calling to poke fun, and sister-in-laws telling her 'you go girl!' It had been a interesting few days after the fight.

Eve slipped behind the drum set and sat down running her hands over the metal. She twisted in search for some drum sticks hoping the drummer just left them near after the show. Finding some under her seat she sat staring at the drums. After bit she closed her eyes picturing a roaring crowd as she drummed her heart out. Never happen, because she had extreme stage frieght. But it was fun as she started out a drum solo.

[Raelena St. John]

When the guy who cleaned Rae's club came to get her, Rae had just been in the back, attempting to stare paperwork into submission. He'd only had to say the word "girl" to get the lycan's attention. She'd quickly put aside her work, and hurried to the main room her of club.

The drumming sound caused Rae to pause, smiling. At first she hadn't been sure who'd be waiting for her in the room. While Rae only called Eve her girlfriend, there were still several girls whom a janitor would call such. There were even a handful that Rae had "become intimate with" while dating Eve, to be perfectly honest.

But the drums had confirmed just who it was.

Rae walked just into the club, moving as silently as possible. While the rock star normally loved attention, and rarely entered a room without fanfare, she could still sneak when she really wanted to.

She wanted to.

Rae leaned against the wall of the club, watching as her girlfriend pounded away at the drums. Now, Rae was, by nature, an incredibly randy person. Eve's presence in general worked Rae up. To have her girlfriend drumming?

Now that was hot.

"Nae goin' ta sleep wit' someone who tain't beat her," murmured Rae, watching. That meant that Rae would have to fight Eve again. And win.

soon.

[Eve Stone]

Lost in her imaginings she beat out a rock star worthy drum solo shaking her head and tapping her feet. A song was playing in her head, with lyrics and everything, but she didn't sing so her mouth remained closed. It was some random song she'd heard on the radio from a guy who sounded very angry at the world. The song suited her just fine, even if she wasn't angry at the world. It was just hard and fast paced. Plus the drums rocked the entired song.

Eve drew the song to a close smiling and a little high from it she looked up at her pretend crowd only to find a real one. Her face went straight to scarlett, the sticks dropped from her hands, and her jaw dropped with them.

"Rae?" Cursing mentally she clambered out from behind the drums almost knocking the entire set over in the process. "Hi! I, um, was waiting, and uh, I saw the drums, and..."

This was embarassing, her heart was reacting like a mouse with it's tail in the light socket. Her hands shook and she felt like she was going to vomit. One person audience had her reacting like this. Cylo had been no big deal, it was just in her bed room with one measily drum. But this had been on a stage with a full set. Alright it was mostly the fact that it had been on a stage. If she'd been tucked away in a bedroom somewhere she wouldn't have minded. But the stage, and being seen on it? Eve practically fell off of the stage.

"I wanted, to, um, uh, see you." Again she flashed red as she tried to compose herself. Sad thing was it was failing.

[Raelena St. John]

"I saw," offered Rae, waving a hand. For a while, she wasn't sure what exactly she should be doing. Part of her wanted to just jump Eve. If she could beat her, then... well, then one thing would lead to another. But it also meant that future surprise visits were unlikely.

Rae liked surprise visits.
Rae also liked sex.
surprise sex, maybe?
With Eve? Doubtful.

"O' course ye wanted ta see me," insisted Rae. Instead of heading directly for Eve, which was tempting, Rae headed directly for the bar. Her tender hadn't shown up, or had already left for the night. Rae couldn't recall exactly what time it was, and frankly didn't care.

So she walked behind it, dug up something to drink, surprisingly something non-alcoholic, and sauntered toward Eve.

"So, ye want a private snoggin' session?" asked Rae. Her expression was flat, dead serious. She popped open the bottle of soda she'd grabbed, taking a swig, and then handed it out to Eve.

[Eve Stone]

It was just so easy to get unfrazzled around Rae, especially when she gave her ammo to get angry. Eve did angry very well, and usually very quickly. Tucking her hands in her backpockets she shook her head at the offering of soda.

"I came here to talk." To most people that would be a very bad way to begin a meeting. "I wanna know a few things."

Hopefully that would ease the threatening opening to her speaking. She kind of wanted to sit down and talk and she glanced at a door toward the back of the club. "Can we go to your apartment? This might take a while, and I kinda wanna sit."

Sitting also could include cuddling and she liked cuddling. With Rae is usually ended up with hands roaming but maybe the conversation would prohibit that. Her muscles also ached from the intense increase of training she been putting herself under. "Please?"

[Raelena St. John]

Talk? Talk? Those were words that someone generally used as openers for a break up. Even though Rae hadn't had many serious relationships, she certainly recognized opening break up lines. For that matter, she'd fed such things to some more clingy girls.

"Fine, we can talk,' the warmth had faded from Rae's tone, and she jerked her hand back. Her hand automatically went to drinking, and she seemed almost surprised when soda came from the bottle. Clearly Rae had been expecting something a bit stronger.

Grunting, the rock star headed for the back of the club, digging a set of keys out of her pocket. The apartment was quite literally behind the club. You couldn't have it over it, else you couldn't sleep when people were working in the club, or when they were in session. So, behind the club.

Rae jerked open the door to the outside, hurried to the apartment, quickly opened the door, and headed inside.

She didn't even pause for Eve.

Once inside, the rock star took another pull from the soda, grimaced, and set it on a counter. She quickly started rummaging around, figuring she'd definitely need something stronger. If Eve started with what she expected her too...

[Eve Stone]

Cursing her choice of words she followed Rae without complaint. The rock star was behaving somewhat what she expected from such a horrible selection of words. Which made her want to ask her questions even more, and had her rushing to the back to Rae's apartment.

"Before you get all alcohol on me can I at least get in that I don't want to stop seeing you?" She rushed out as she made it to the apartment not even bothering to shut the door behind her before she spoke. Eve stood staring at Rae her body tense.

"I just have questions, and no matter the answers it won't lead to me leaving." Trying a smile she shrugged. "Your actions might but your answers won't."

All she wanted was answers. Even if she didn't like those answers. Eve went over to Rae reaching for the other girl's arm. "I wanna know how you feel about me. Is this serious? Or am I just another girl? Are you still persuing me just because I won't have sex with you or is there more?"

Her eyes were well guarded and her voice was soft. Not her normal barking, commanding, somewhat intimidating tone. She could handle being just another girl, she could handle being more than that. All she wanted to know was which one was it?

[Raelena St. John]

"Ye bloody suck at openin' conversations," muttered Rae, standing. She crossed her arms over her chest, and didn't look any less aggressive. Whether or not Eve meant it didn't matter, the words were still out there. Still making Rae edgy.

"Wha'...?" Rae's eyes widened. Serious relationship questions? When had Rae last heard serious relationship questions? It had been years, that was for certain. And from the sound of it, this was about as far from a break up conversation as you could get.

"There's more," admitted Rae. Her expression was serious for once, no smiles, no predatory looks. "I mean, I still want tae make love tae ye, tha' should be bloody..." Rae shook her head. "I mean... gah."

Rae looked down, wondering if maybe she shouldn't have gotten the alcohol anyway. "I like ye special, Eve. Aye, I still..." Rae looked away, biting her lip. Rebel didn't count, right? "Ye tain't jus' another lass. Ye m'lass... an', well, I kenned we were different. Is tha' wha' ye were wonderin'?"

Rae met Eve's eyes now, and looked curious. Did this mean that the stoic dragon was about to get emotional too? This Rae had to see.

[Eve Stone]

She winced slightly at Rae's first words. Yay, for being social inept. Eve waited for the answer waiting on the ledge of some mental cliff. Ever since their last date her mind durign training was a jumble. What did she feel? Does she like, like me? Does that mean she feels more for me than I for her? Is it just about the sex? Can I handle a serious relationship? Can I candle dating a girl? Can I handle her?

"So, I'm special, not just another girl." She'd almost said lass on accident. Too much time with the Scottish girl. Okay, she'd gotten that much out of her. Though it seemed she wasn't the only one that had a difficulty talking.

"That was what I was kind of looking for..." Eve still felt a bit lost and more than slightly confused. "What you said at the arena, was it true? Have you not had sex with anyone since you met me?"

It was twenty questions time and Eve was more serious than-wait, Eve always was serious. Or it felt that way, anyway. Taking a deep breath she prepared herself for this.

"Because I would really like to know. If you have that's okay, I never said I wanted to be mona-monag, like exclusive." She jerked a rough hand through her hair as she spoke. "I wanna know exactly how you feel to see if I feel more or less than you. Or if this is gonna work. I haven't been in a serious relationship before, and I don't really know what to do, and you make me so damned worked up."

"Do you want to be exclusive? If you don't then I understand since you aren't gettin' any from me." A pointed stare to make that statement even have more weight on it. "I want to but I just I can't. It terrifies the sh*t out of me."

Having planned on sitting she was now pacing frantically as she ranted. "And you just sex this sex that and sometimes I feel like hyperventilating! And-And I don't know if I can date a celebrity last time showed me that."

Eve was practically ranking at her hair though her features remained human. Her mind was racing even faster than her mouth, and it surprised her that all this Stuff was coming out.

"I want to be with you, but the cameras...I wanted to break every last one of them and the faces behind them." Growling she made a fist eyes flashing.

"Oh, and if we decide not to be exclusive can I not see or know about your other escapades? Otherwise I might go on a killing spree." With that she finally took a breath chest heaving she stared at Rae. Terrified of the other girl's reaction. But that was a lot off of her chest, and made breathing much easier.

[Raelena St. John]

Wow, just, wow. Usually Rae had to drag words out of Eve, and it often felt like pulling teeth. To have this sudden deluge threw Rae off, and for a few moments she really couldn't find words to manage a reply.

It didn't help that a feeling of guilt suddenly washed over her. No, she hadn't been entirely faithful. It had only been one time, really, and even then it hadn't counted. Rae still convinced herself of that. But it had existed, and Rae really shouldn't lie to Eve about it. That wasn't how she worked.

"At tha' time, aye, twas true," confessed Rae. She winced, "But, I... well, ye twasnae puttin' oot an' I was all riled oop an' well, she was really d**m hot an'..."

Rae bit her lip and averted her eyes. D**mit, it shouldn't be this hard. It hadn't counted!

"I slipped, once. I want tae be... ye ken..." Rae waved a hand, then stepped forward. "But... I really like sex. I mean really, Eve. An' I really want tae make love tae ye. I ken ye nervous, but I ken wha' I'm doin', an'... I like ye, lass. I tain't goin' ta do anythin' tae hurt ye..."

Except technically cheat on her with a pink haired French girl.

"Forget th' bloody cameras. Ye jus' f**kin' ignore 'em. I can soak oop th' attention. Ye can jus' be th' camera shy girlfriend," Rae stepped forward. "Let's worry aboot th' hard stuff, aye? Like sex..."

[Eve Stone]

So she had done stuff with another girl. She stood and stared at Rae taking a step backwards, but froze. No, she'd said she wouldn't leave just because of Rae's answers. Crossing her arms she glared at the ground chastizing herself for making such a stupid promise.

"Okay. I get it. I more than get it you like sex." A long breath out and she met Rae's eyes. "It's okay. If you want other girls, Rae, it's okay."

Not believing she was willing to make sharing an option she turned her back on the other girl. This was a lot harder than she had expected it to be. Shaking her head she turned her hands in fists now.

"No, Rae, you don't get it. I'm not nervous! I'm scared! Damned scared!" Her eyes burned and she whipped back around her head tilted back begging her eyes not to do what they were threatening to do. "I know you know what you're doing. You make that a very well known fact."

Eve bowed her head shaking it over and over her bun starting to come lose. She shouldn't have come here. This entire thing, this entire relationship was centered on sex and the fact that it wasn't happening.

"Rae, why is sex such a huge thing with you? Can't you just be with me?" Her voice cracked and she cursed in her ken's tongue wanting to punch a hole in a wall. She would not cry. "I guess that's asking too much. This won't work, Rae. I'm not the tpye of girl you like, really why did you even..."

She sounded so weak and frail something she did not like or was used to. Her shoulders hunched and she covered her face with her hands screaming into them. She screamed in hopes to raise her rage and to fight off the tears.

[Raelena St. John]

"D**mit!" Rae snapped, flailing with a hand. So much for "your answers won't make me leave." Rae should've smelt that bullc**p from a mile away.

"I do want tae be wit' ye wit'oot sex!" she informed Eve. "Why else would I have kept datin' ye, ye bloody idjit? I like ye fir other reasons then th' fact tha' ye turn me on. An'..."

Rae smiled, "Ye tain't tha' far from wha' I like in a lass, Eve, really. Ye jus' disnae put oot as much."

Rae craved the physical contact of sex. Yes, she was addicted, and she knew it full well. Too much of it had given her a nearly constant yearning, and her eyes were trained to wander, not to stay upon one person. While her heart may be leaning one way, her loins went another.

"Why disnae ye want me?" asked Rae, her voice suddenly softer, as if the thought had just come to her. "Am I tha' f**kin' ugly? Wha' are ye scared o'? Me?"

Rae stepped forward, placing a hand on Eve's shoulder. "Eve, why would ye be scared o' me? Ye tougher an' ye fight harder. 'boot th' only thin' I have on ye is singin' an' lovin'...."

[Eve Stone]

Eve hugged herself at the curse, the snapping, and the angry words coming at her from Rae. She didn't remember feelings this fragile before. Maybe she'd been pushing herself too hard lately phsyically and it left her defenses weak.

"I'm not an idjit!" She yelled her back still toward Rae. "If you were so okay with not having sex with me you wouldn't be pressuring so much, and so damned often."

Her body started shaking and she squatted her forehead to her knees. She wouldn't leave but she hadn't promised not to be unhappy. Arms wrapped around her waist she breathed into her thighs. It wasn't supposed to be like this she was supposed to be stronger than this. Her whole life was based on being a rock, so why was she crumbling?

"Why don't you think I want you? Because I say no?" Eve turned to rest her cheek on her knee, her eyes rolling to look at Rae. "You're not ugly, and I'm...just scared. The thought of it...just leaves me paralyzed."

At the touch she flinched burying her face back into her lap. "I know I can kick your a** up and down again, but it's not about that. When stuff like that-well happens. I freeze and can't breathe. My hands shake and I don't know what to do."

"What if...I have sex and then you don't want me anymore..." Her voice was the softest it'd ever been. "What if...I fall for you and once you got what you wanted you leave me..."

[Raelena St. John]

Rae took a few steps forward, pausing. Wow, Eve... Eve's feelings for Rae were stronger then the rockstar had expected. So strong that they were tearing the other girl up. A hard dragon wasn't used to feeling soft, and then there was all the added difficulties. Rae being female. Rae constantly pestering Eve for sex. The rockstar had unknowingly made this relationship hard for her lover, and instantly felt regret.

Walking toward Eve, Rae fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around her.

"Eve..." she said, her voice low. "I... I'm sorry, lass."

She laid her head against Eve's shoulder, then turned slightly, her lips just inches from Eve's ear. The next words came out a whisper. 'I didnae ken aboot ye... twas selfish o' me... I"m jus'... it's been some since I actually cared aboot someone. At least, like this."

Rae shifted, taking a deep breath. "I'm used tae lovin' an' leavin'. Nae, tain't love. Wha' I did wasnae love... But... wit' ye. Wit' ye it's different."

Rae took a deep breath, holding Eve tight. "I tain't goin' tae lie tae ye. I want ye. I want ye so bad it haunts m'dreams. I saw ye an' I kenned tha' I wanted ye. When I close m'eyes sometimes, I picture ye. But..."

She swallowed. "Tain't jus' because... because... bloody hell."

Rae pressed her lips to Eve's cheek, then brushed the other girl's hair. "Disnae ye get it yet? I like ye, ye f**kin' idjit. Tae much, really. I didnae ken ye liked me tha' much either..."

She snuggled against her. "Eve, I tain't goin' tae rape ye. I also tain't goin' tae leave ye righ' after we have sex. Tain't righ'. Even if i didnae lo... like ye anymore, I wouldnae leave ye. I tain't cruel, lass. I twould ne'er do tha' tae a lass, let alone one I actually liked."

She sighed, hugging Eve again. Suddenly she wanted nothing more then to return to that night of drunken cuddling. Her body pressed against Eve's, with nothing more in mind then simply holding one another tight. Where was this coming from? It wasn't the way Rae operated.

But it used tae be, an' I still remember it...

She breathed deep, taking Eve in, and held her. Rae held her girlfriend close.

[Eve Stone]

She snarled a bit under her breath whatever it was was muffled against her thighs. Eve didn't turn to look at Rae as she spoke into her ear instead her arms tightened their grip around her stomach. Her entire mind was in confusion at how she was acting her body felt like jello, and her eyes never stopped burning. As far back as she could remember through al lher years she never had felt like this before.

Biting her lip until blood spilled over her tongue she listened to Rae speak. With those arms around her the burning instensified, and her chest felt like an earth dragon was giving her a bear hug. It amused her slightly that whenever Rae got frustrated she cursed. And finally after what felt like the millionth bloody hell that day she chuckled lightly.

"I'm not an idjit..."She mumbled unhappily shrugging her shoulders to try and get Rae off of her. "And I don't like you that much...I'm just not used to feeling all fuzzy like this."

Was it her time of the month? It wasn't often that Eve even had that time of the month with how much she trained and fought. The emotional effects however sometimes came through without the rest of the affects. The war dragon would rather blame her raging emotions on PMS than what might be the truth.

She had real emotions for Rae.

"You won't leave? Puh, but if you stay it will be out of courtesy or pity." Eve growled seeping back into her anger finally. Now that she'd picked a culprit for her emotional confusion she could control it. But the holding, the sweet words. She replayed all those words so kind, words she'd never thought Rae would even utter. A weak sound escaped her mouth and she hiccuped even though she wasn't crying.

"I've never felt-I don't know what-Rae I can't think. I-" She lifted her head and jerked in shock. She felt a burning running down her cheek, and uncurling one arm she lifted a hand to touch her face. A little droplet was on her finger when she pulled it away. "I..don't...cry."

As soon as she said it the tears started falling like rain, and she shook her head another heart wrenching noise coming out. Eve uncurled completely, and moved to wrap her arms around Rae basically falling into the other girl's lap. Her chest hurt so badly and her mind kept swirling like poisonous smoke. The only thing that seemed to help, was holding the girl beside her.