I Want Tae Be Incognito

[Raelena St. John]

--open

Someone cruel had moved the Academy to the Midwest. In the middle of nowhere. Where they weren't used to seeing celebrities wandering the streets. A famous person stuck out like from the flock normally, but it was even worse when there weren't even other black sheep to hide with.

Rae had crammed a horrible floppy hat on her head, braided her hair, and wore jeans, a ragged gray t-shirt, and a denim jacket. For once, nothing about her screamed rock star. Despite that, she'd been recognized twice, and carried another new CD in her pocket. Why people thought she could get them famous was beyond her.

Usually Rae thrived on the attention, but now she just wanted to be left well enough alone. Probably bits of Eve rubbing off on her, she supposed. Or maybe it was just finally getting to her. Regardless, Rae now tried to be "incognito."

and failed.

"That's Raelena St. John!"

"F**k," muttered Rae, turning. Just what she didn't want: a gaggle of girls. They let loose an ear-piercing shriek, and swarmed toward Rae like locusts.

The rock star flung the stupid hat at them, and quickly hurried down a corner. Her legs pumped as she ran from the crowd. Once Rae reached a corner, she lunged around it, darting into the first shop she could find.

She slammed the door behind her, shifted to the side, and waited for the crowd to pass. Once they did, the rock star grinned, nodded, and started to look around, wondering where she'd run this time.

[sunny]

When Sunny saw a peculiarly-dressed young woman dive into a shop as if her life depended on it, she shrugged her shoulders, and thought little of it. But when a mob of squealing girls ran past soon after, shouting such phrases as "OMIGODZ, WHERE DID SHE GO?!" and "SHE'S GOTTA BE CLOSE! MAYBE DOWN HERE?!" then she snapped to attention.

Well there's something ya don't see every day.

She quirked a brow at the shop. She hated the place, so she avoided it like the plague, and only ventured past it's wooden door when absolutely desperate. Today, she was not absolutely desperate. She was just very curious.

She casually sauntered into the shop and immediately gagged and waved at the air. She was hoping she'd been wrong, and confused this shop with another one that she hated, but she was not.

"God, I hate this place. Smells like incense and cat fur." The old woman who owned the shop was a little eccentric, to say the least. "Hell do they sell in here, anyway?"

She spotted the strangely-dressed woman shortly after entering, and gave her the peace sign to show she meant no harm. She knew who she was upon a closer inspection: Raelena St. John did not seem to know how to disguise herself properly.

"You got somethin' to do with that witch hunt going on out there?"

[Raelena St. John]

The smell just now hit Rae, and she nearly gagged. Definitely incense, and something burning. Not candles or anything normal, no, something extremely odd was burning now. She immediately plugged her nose, and looked at the new arrival.

Cute enough, but for once, Rae wasn't in the mood. Probably the incense.

"Store bloody stinks," answered Rae. She craned her neck, trying to look outside through a small window in the door. She couldn't immediately see anyone, but that didn't mean they weren't out there.

"Aye, I have a wee bit ta do wit' tha'," agreed Rae. She didn't bother to look. "apparently I didnae disguise m'self enough. Need ta take lessons or someit. Or mebbe jus' wander 'round wit' m'lass. Any other lass gets close an' she starts growlin'..."

Rae turned to look at the woman now, half-smiling. "Lemme guess, ye ken who I am? Usually I like the attention, but I jus' tain't oop fir it taeday."

[sunny]

"Ya can say that again." Sunny agreed, wrinkling her nose in displeasure. "Only reason I ever come in here is if I have to pee. Lady who runs this place is right batty, but she's got the best bathroom Downtown. Good thing, too. I wonder how many people got nauseous coming in here."

She wasn't so sure why she was going through so much trouble to talk to a superstar who didn't want to be bothered. Just standing in the weird little shop made her head pound.

Ugh, I need a large fan and a shot. Maybe a shotgun, too, take out the crazy old coot who owns this giant air freshener. The residents of St. Louis would build a monument in my name.

"Disguise lessons, eh? I'll give you a short one for free. You look like a...grunge-y biker chick after raiding a thrift store. No one dresses that way, you do that and you'll stick out like a sore thumb. 'Cause it doesn't look average, it looks weird. If you want to go unnoticed, what you're gonna hafta do is dress in clothes you wouldn't even think about putting on. Take off your make-up, too."

She paused to allow her words to sink in, and to make sure Raelena wasn't going to take her face off for her advice. Casually, she leaned back against the wall, her hands going to touch an iron sculpture of a cat curiously.

[Raelena St. John]

Despite her desire to get away from everyone, Rae felt herself liking this girl. And not in the usual "I want to rip off your clothes and make mad, mad love to you on the floor" way. Which was odd for Rae, as generally it was "get the hell out of my face" or "let's go f**k in the backroom."

In fact, the strange feeling made Rae pause for a while, which she realized might come off as rudeness. Or that she was on drugs, which was a possibility, given her profession and all.

"I tain't wearin' makeoop," argued Rae, raising a brow. That was a rather odd thing to mention, and not something that Rae was used to hearing. "An' if'n I dressed like I wasnae m'self, I'd wear a bloody dress."

Rae paused for a moment, thinking on that. She had been known to wear dresses, but generally to parties or something. Or when she really wanted to impress a girl, like at the gift exchange. That had been fun.

"Tain't goin' ta roam around wearin' a dress..." she murmured, shaking her head.

[sunny]

Sunny was surprised to hear that the rocker wasn't wearing any make-up in the first place, and raised both eyebrows at the revelation. Secretly, she was jealous that the other blonde had been blessed with natural good looks. More often than not, she relied on shape-shifting and make-up to hide her imperfections.

Guess I shouldn't be too surprised. The world is too shallow to make a born-ugly chick into a best-selling artist.

"Uh...in that case, you could try using make-up to make you look less like you. Put it on so you look awful, but not ridiculous. More like 'girl who puts way too much blush on her cheeks' than Ronald McDonald. Or use colors that you wouldn't be caught dead in."

She set the cat sculpture down, and immediately broke the tail right off. Her eyes widened, and she tried to put the tail as close to the cat's iron rear as possible. If the old woman didn't see her break it, she wouldn't know unless she tried picking it up...would she? She looked around for any sign of store cameras. She didn't exactly have the money to be breaking things in shops...

She smiled knowingly when Raelena brought up dresses. If she was going to refuse to wear things she wouldn't normally, she'd never blend in. "Exactly. You go out in some cute, light-colored dress, and no one is gonna recognize ya. Even if you they think you resemble you, bottom line, what they're thinking is 'Raelena St. John wouldn't be forced into something like that!'"

She gave a quick glance to the counter, where the old lady was snoring away. Thank goodness. She couldn't have seen her break the cat sculpture, and she couldn't have heard her give away Rae's name. The shop's closed door would be enough to keep Rae's whereabouts from reaching the outside.

"If you're not gonna do dresses, not no way, not no-how, ya can try skirts. Wear clothes that are dull - gray, white, beige, something like that - but not ugly. Polo shirts, argyle, and cardigan sweaters. Make sure your clothes don't have holes in them. Get your hair up in one of those high ponytails that make your head hurt. If ya wanna be wintery, get one of those atrocious down coats that everyone wears all the time, or a knitted hat with those little dangly things."

[Raelena St. John]

There was certainly a lot more to this hiding thing then Rae at first thought. The sheer magnitude of it nearly exhausted her, and she was beginning to resign herself to simply being mobbed whenever she went outside. Or she'd just drag Eve along every time. That girl could scare off just about anybody. Of course, Eve would whine later...

So it looked like Rae would have to give all these tips and tricks a whirl. Besides, she could just picture her friends' faces when she showed up in a dress. Probably die of shock.

"Thanks, I'll keep tha' in mind," offered Rae, grinning. She walked over to the cat figure and slid a few bills underneath it, casually. Just because the accident hadn't been noticed didn't mean they shouldn't take care of it. Besides, Rae felt a little bad for just using the woman's shop as a temporary hiding spot. As if she should at least pay something.

And Rae had plenty of money.

"Ye ken wha'? I owe ye fir th' advice, an' fir nae givin' me away. Ye want someit?" Rae didn't just want to throw money at the girl. You didn't just wave money at troubles to get them to vanish.

Rae looked around the shop, trying to see if she could find something to gift to her helper. Maybe the cat figurine...

[sunny]

"Nah, don't worry about it. I don't got much use for a lot of, you know, stuff. I guess I've just never been a very materialistic person." Sunny replied with a shrug of her shoulders, stuffing her hands into her pockets so she couldn't break anything else. In truth, she would refuse anything the first time, out of courtesy, but she'd be thrilled if she could get some food that wasn't canned soup, or even a spot of cash.

I hope she's not thinking of buying something in here as a thank-you gift. She thought uncomfortably, as Rae looked around the shop. It's not like I can use anything in here, and I ain't big on cats, in the first place. They're real pissy creatures, the lot of 'em, think the world revolves around them. The best thing I could do with something like that cast-iron kitty is use it as a last-resort defense against stupid people, but I find that shifting into some big thing with a whole lot of teeth is more effective...

"Coast looks clear." She announced to Rae, after glancing out the heavily-blinded window. "If ya wanna scadaddle outta here, this is prolly your best chance."

...well, maybe I'd just use the cat-bludgeon against people I can't spook, but god forbid stupid people and I ever become that familiar.

[Raelena St. John]

"Clear, eh?" repeated Rae, grinning. She really did want to just get going. As much as she enjoyed the conversation, staying in a smelly shop wasn't high on the list of "things Rae wants to do on her days off." And the other girl was certainly cute enough, but Rae, oddly enough, didn't quite feel like going that route. Now, if she knew Sunny could shift, that would be another story. Shapeshifters were just too good to pass up.

"Ye sure ye disnae want somethin'?" asked Rae, tilting her head. "Some tickets? A cell phone, mebbe? I get more d**m cell phones then five rockstars could use."

You could literally fill a truck with the free phones that were shoved onto Rae. At least she'd signed on to sponsor something useful.

"C'mon, has tae be somethin'/"