The story of the Cat and the fish. {Eryk}

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen shivered slightly as she worked. She was Her and Eryk's--Her...new house. It was almost done. It had furniture in it...minimal furniture, but furniture never the less, she had gone in and started her murals and what not. Though today, her heart was not into painting. No it was into working with her flowers, and getting the landscaping knocked out. She had gotten the back, and it was a work in progress but it was still beautiful. In her eyes at least. She did these things, really start to work on the house to get her mind of Eryk. This wasn't nearly as bad as last time, she had faith this time. That was the difference. That and she was taking Rae's advice. Giving him some air to breathe, loosening his leash, taking him off the leash totally.

Cerridwen smiled at her flower, one of the winter flowers she was growing and whispered sweet words to it. After all every flower was just like another person, every piece of foliage was just another thing with feelings and thoughts.

"Come on...it's time for you to wake up" She murmured to it as she moved from the flower that just wouldn't open up to one that was just over blooming. "To much sweet one...to much" She murmured to the Lily. "You are quite the eager one..." She said touching the soft petals with gentle hands and then moving onto making a few vines run up the wall and cling to the stone. "Perfect" Cerridwen chirped as she walked around the front watching the different flowers and foliage come to life. Something she did very rarely. She certainly didn't show anyone. Not even Eryk, she kept her deep connection to the earth to herself, there was no need to show off, share it, just do it when she wanted to cheer herself up, and let herself know she wasn't alone. She was not by herself, and she always had a friend. Somewhere.

Cerridwen worked a few minutes longer before returning inside to start some tea and warm up her body. Her nose and cheeks were red, and it was slowly turning into winter. Soon Minerva would force snow, that was of course if it didn't come naturally, there was after all a deadline, she loved snow, and if by December there wasn't any well that really just peeved Minerva. There was nothing like the first snow of the year either. Cerridwen drifted around the kitchen...the big kitchen that had been built originally for Eryk and his dreams.

The tea pot whistled and she moved over to pull it off the big expensive stove and move it to the counter top that was apparently able to hold hot things and not be ruined. Amazing the technology that humans came up with, though Cerridwen personally preferred the old fashioned things herself but that was no biggie.

[eryk]

He'd waited a week just like he'd said he would and his feet carried him toward the house Cerridwen was building. Cael and him had had a long discussion that involved a lot less yelling than normal. The two Davidson men were actually getting along which freaked out Mae and Sylvia, but it was nice for a change. Eryk was all healed up and had been working his tail off all week. Taking every shift he possibly could, and then some. At first it was just to burn out his anger then it just became habit. When he'd walked in that morning his boss had pointed at the door and refused to let him work. Something about becoming a work-aholic and being alone for all of eternity. So he'd taken a walk. His traitorous feet had lead him straight to that house.

Hands in his white chef pant pockets he stood and stared at the front of the house. Cerridwen had been doing some gardening he could see, and a glance at the windows showed him some of the furniture had shown up. A house. Originally for the two of them to move into, but now. He knew he wasn't ready for that. She might be but he wasn't. Not anymore. It was just a lie that he'd told himself that he was. Her words still clanged around in his mind but they didn't really hurt anymore, or at least they didn't upset him. No he saw them for what they were and accepted them. She might never see him as sane ever again.

With a sigh he walked up to the cutesy house and not thinking she was there opened the door. It would be nice to look around and see all of what she'd gotten done. Maybe he might get some work some himself. As he shut the door he caught the scent of heated metal, and her. That scent would be something he never forgot, her scent, her aroma was imprinted in his sensory board forever. He froze not knowing if he should leave, announce his presence, or go into the kitchen and surprise her. She might be mad at him for leaving that night. She might not want him there. She might...What was he doing? They loved each other so a surprise visit to a place they were supposed to share together made perfect sense.

Now all he had to do was convince the rest of his body of that, and to let go of the door handle. Frozen in place he stared into the house wanting to go to her. To tell her how sorry he was for being an ass, but he also wanted to just leave. To deal with this another day. If only relationships could be easy.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen moved about, as she picked up a sponge, her heart may not have been up to it, but she knew she had to finish the kitchen, and with that she moved about going to one of the walls, finishing the gold sponge paint she had started, she would later go in and add roses along the walls, and with that she began humming to herself as she sponged and between sponging and humming she would stop to take a sip of her tea and start once again. It only took her a few minutes before she was finished with the wall. She had gotten most of the yellow-gold color sponged onto the walls the previous day, she knew that was just the easy work though, painting the roses would be the difficult part, and doing a scene along the other walls would be even more difficult. Right now she was in the mood for roses, and vines, that was what she wanted at the moment.

"Hmm." She mused holding up now a paint brush and looking to the wall. She finally decided on the lower left hand corner to start, so taking various small tins of paint, Cerridwen turned her back to the entry way of the kitchen and bent down and worked, working her way up.

This had to get her mind off of him. She had worked so hard to not freak out, to know that he would come back. This was how they were, and they certainly did not need anymore drama in their life. They did not need it at all. That was the last thing she knew they needed. She looked at the three roses that she had started and smiled. They were perfect. The way she had wanted the kitchen to look, and this would look simply lovely. With that she began to add more detail to the wall, adding cracks to it, and flowers, vines, etc. She even bothered to add a butterfly to one of the flowers as she worked. This was certainly taking up her time and taking her mind off of Eryk. She had so much work still, and she still had to finish the other rooms. She hadn't even started thei-- her...room. She had gotten the living room done, started the foyer, and had a downstairs bathroom done, the extra guest room, and she had begun Mae's room, but not sure yet of what the girl wanted, so she had kept it simple.

"Right...need more paint" She murmured and with that she got up leaving the kitchen and going out the back door to the shed to pick up more paint and fiddle around outside trying t decide what paint's she wanted to bring back in.

[eryk]

She hadn't heard him come in then. He could look around while she worked in the kitchen. No need to bother her while she was busy working. Wandering over to the living room he checked out the little amount of furniture in there and how she had set things up. Then he moved on to Mae's room which looked nice, and as he went from room to room he avoided "their" room now her room. Finally he opened the door to that room and saw it pretty much left undone. So she was avoiding it. It was almost as if she was denying him, as if she was letting it set in that they weren't together. They hadn't broken up...had they? He honestly didn't know now.

Eryk went to the middle of the room and his eyes roamed over it trying to picture them living in it. Tried to picture a little him or her running in to wake them up because of a nightmare. The pictures weren't coming. But at the thought of children came the thought that she might be pregnant. A little piece of him might be growing inside of her womb. Running a hand over the wall he sighed resting his forehead to the wood. What are we doing? I'm just a kid. Or at least I still feel like one, and here I am trying to start a family. His hand slipped down the door frame and he left the room shutting the door silently behind him.

Jogging down the stairs he caught the sound of the back door shutting and he peeked into the kitchen. She was going outside for something, and that meant he could inspect the kitchen. The roses were amazing, the new appliances looked fabulous, and the tea smelled delicious. He knelt to look at the roses close up smiling at the sight of the butterfly. This was the Cerridwen he loved and cherished. That angry version the other night...it was her but it certainly wasn't something he liked very much. Course he wasn't peaches and cream to deal with either.

With a grin he picked up a small paintbrush and dipped it in some of the paint used for the roses. Then in small letters at the bottom of the wall he painted eight words.

I will forever love you my flower princess.

She could always paint over it later if she so wanted, but if not it would always be a little thing between them. He stood dropping the brush into the sink then left the kitchen quickly before she returned. Darting into the living room he waited for her to return and hopefully to await her finding the little message at the base of the wall. If she found it she would most likely look for him, for who would write that save him? No one. For he was pretty certain he was the only one who called her that. Smiling in excitement he pressed against the wall just out of sight waiting for her to come back.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen looked along the labels of the can's, looking at the different colors and shades she had selected. So many choices, and so many options. Finally selecting on shades of greens, red's, blue's and purple's Cerridwen carefully balanced the cans in her arms and started her way out of the shed, managing to kick the shed door shut as she left it. Cerridwen looked up to the cloudy sky and sighed shaking her head. It was always cloudy in winter....cloudy, cold, depressing almost. What a time for this to happen. They would always have their fights though, and she had to learn to accept that. She didn't need to get worked up about it.

Cerridwen made her way into the kitchen, up the porch steps, through the screen door and setting the cans down carefully on the tile and knelled down to open them with a screwdriver and pop the lids open.

Once they were all opened, Cerridwen knelled down once more to her corner planning to work her way up, only one thing stopped her.

That writing hadn't been there...she...hadn't done that. Sitting up on her knees she looked around. Was he here? Where? When? How? Did he have some talent that she just didn't know about? God forbid she had kept plenty of talents from him...eventually she showed him most of them, but there were those few talents she had kept to herself.

"Eryk?" She called quietly getting up for a minute. He wasn't here...there wasn't a chance in hell he was here...but she did take the brush and add to it.

For my flower, love your Fairy Princess.

And with that she let the S's end trail off a bit and looked at her handy work. Nice. Lovely. She smiled and got up and looked around. "Eryk..." She murmured walking into the dinning room. He wasn't there, but where was he? Walking around she searched the rooms, finally going to the stairs. SHe had forgotten the living room and started up the stairs unsure. She searched the rooms, admiring her work upstairs. Finally, she saw their room...the door was open. Was he in there? Walking in the empty bare room she looked around. "Eryk?" She questioned looking around. There was no place to hide...she went into their master bathroom to search. Nothing.

She had gotten her hopes up for nothing. Sadly she moved downstairs and sighed. "I'm sorry..." She murmured looking around. "Please come back to me...come back safe" She said letting her head hang and looked down. Cerridwen moved to the kitchen again to take another sip of Tea and looked to the living room. Why get her hopes up? he wasn't in there...he had come...and gone as fast and as swift as a fox.

She sat down in the wooden chair holding her tea mug close to her thinking. She had a lot of things to think about these days. Eryk, her sister...children, his family, love, Xavier. So many things...so many her brain was about ready to explode.

[eryk]

He heard her come in, his name spoken and her move about the house looking for him. For a second he thought about following her but instead leaned around the corner and watched silently. To watch her without her knowing he was there was like spying,witnessing a part of her life he wouldn't see normally. Those words griped at his heart and he almost ran out to her then to wrap her in his arms. To wipe away those sad tones and make her smile again. Fighting just did not suit him at all, he wanted her happy, and him happy. This had to end or he'd go insane, or well he'd be very unhappy.

No more of this depressing gloom, he needed her laughter and smiles. He moved around the corned quietly and made his way to the kitchen. Trying to be sneaky he tried to make his steps as light as possible, but not seeing the pan of paint he stepped down. Paint until dried is highly slippery, and sticky. Flailing his face met the kitchen floor as he not only slipped on paint but tripped over a paint can. His hand smacked a paint stirer knocking over a can to spill over his arm. Some how he'd hit a paint brush sending it up into the air and to land on his back. Paint covered his shoe, and was slowly covering his left side. Lifting his head slowly he grinned sheepishly at Cerridwen.

"Um, surprise?"

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen sat there deep in thought, deep in confusion until she was startled by the clanging of paint cans and pans clashing together and when she whirled around, she saw none other then Eryk. Her lovely Eryk. Cerridwen's eyes went wide as he tried moving about, doing nothing more then spilling the paint letting paint fly onto her walls, onto her, and then onto their flower. Once he landed and looked up at her and said his few words she just stared at him. Silence. Her mouth was open, her jaw dropped, and she was just staring at him. For the longest minute of her life she just...stared at him, there he was, there Eryk was, laying before her, covered in paint. To her a beautiful sight, to see her love, covered in paint, just as she was covered in paint. A beautiful sight to her indeed. She could only do one thing, and one thing only.

Her body began to quake as she held it in. Suddenly laughter tumbled out of her mouth as she began laughing, hard, it was the funniest thing she had ever seen. It was something you'd naturally see out of a movie, or something of the sorts at least. She couldn't stop laughing, she felt herself look around and at the paint on herself, and the paint on him and just laughed. For the longest time she giggled and snorted, something she rarely did, she snorted! Cerridwen actually snorted and finally reached a hand out to get some of the red paint that was speckled across his cheek, wiping it off gently with her fingers.

"Yes." She laughed "A surprise" She giggled and put a paint covered hand to her mouth. "A very good surprise indeed" She giggled and reached over to pick up the paint can. "Are-" She giggled some more. "Are you ok--" She laughed and finished her sentence. "Okay?" She asked trying to stop her laughing. This had just been so...very Eryk. This was just him. This fit him. Sighing she smiled and shook her head, her eyes dancing with laughter and light as she looked down upon him.

[eryk]

At least he'd made her laugh, and that was more important than any little message on a wall. Hearing her laughter he smiled and went up to hands a knees starting to laugh himself at the mess he'd made. Only a completely klutz like himself could make such a mess in such a short span of time. As she wiped off some of the paint he chuckled not believing how much paint he'd spilled. It was absolutely everywhere. One step had lead to this, it was almost symbolic. One wrong step and your whole world, and life could be a total mess.

"I'm okay. I had not planned this by the way." He couldn't of planned it so perfectly, something that was sure to make her laugh. "But I'm glad it made you laugh, love."

Running a hand through his hair he felt the paint stick to his scalp and his hand came away with bright, vibrant, blue paint. The laughter came again though he felt bad for ruining her lovely painting on the wall. It could be fixed paint could be painted over, with lots of coats.

"I hope the water is running because I at least will need a shower. You however look stunning covered in paint." Eryk reached over and poked a paint spot with a grin. He was captivated by her green shining eyes that was something he'd missed over this past week. That look in her eyes. Reaching out for her and without thinking he put his hands to either side of her face hoping she wouldn't pull away as he kissed her. Kissed her both of them covered in paint because he was sorry, because he really did love her, and to tell her he wanted her no matter how she looked. She was an angel in his eyes and she through all the fights and nasty words, was his.

"I love you, Cerridwen." Opening his eyes from the kiss he shoved every ounce of that love into his look. He might not be ready for that walk down the isle but he was ready to hold her tight again and to tell her those three words until she was sick of them.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen smiled and looked down to him. "You...indeed need a shower lovely." She whispered now her voice soft and loving again. "I hope you didn't fall, not to hard, not to terribly fast, and please don't say you landed and hurt yourself" She murmured, her eyes growing somewhat worried and looking him over for spots or signs of bruises. He looked basically alright, and on the plus side he was smiling, that had to count for SOMETHING.

Cerridwen smiled looking him over. "I don't...look stunning in paint. I look a mess. like you. I need a shower as well now." She laughed slightly and shook her head. "You...I can't believe you just did that." She whispered and looked around. "The walls...the floor...now the floor we're going to have to clean...the walls on the other hand...." Cerridwen trailed off smiling her eyes dancing over the walls, sparkling, happy, "The walls I think I want to keep" She nodded looking around at the paint splattered walls. A few roses survived the attack of paint, but there was one thing that stuck out. The writing. Their writing. "Yes, just the way it is...I couldn't have done it better you know" She whispered and then he was up.

He was on her, kissing her, loving her, and that was just the best darn feeling in the world. She kissed him back, as deeply as she could muster at least, and words, some words came out of no where, she wasn't the one saying them. Someone...deep inside of her was. She was taking Rae's advice. Letting him off the leash. His inner wolf needed to be let loose. She needed to try and stop holding onto him so tight. "Go after Xavier...but come home safe..." She whispered, resting her forehead against his pressing the tip of her nose into his. She kissed the corners of his mouth once more but only did those sweet little kisses, nothing more.

Cerridwen's hand drifted to his hair, his hair that had grown out, that was long again, for her to let her fingers mix with, so she could hold him close. She needed to let Eryk off his leash, and that was exactly what she was doing, even if it pained her slightly to do so.

"So how about that shower then hmm? You go clean up...I'll get down here" She whispered but made no movement to let go of him or even move from his arms.

[eryk]

He chuckled again opening and closing his paint covered hand. Shower with really hot water, and lots of soap would do them both some good. Even if he did mean what he said, she was darn sexy covered in paint. A whole week away from her and suddenly she was the sexiest woman on the planet. Course to him she always had been the sexiest woman on the planet. It had been her to snag his heart away from the clutches of Xavier. From the depths of insanity. From his own nightmares. She had saved him and to think he'd wanted her to never come back.

"You're stunning, gorgeous, lovely, beautiful, and extremely sexy. Never think otherwise. For I won't." He kissed her hands, her cheeks, and then came the kiss. Her lips on his her scent making his head whirl, and his heart jump into his throat. His body shivered as he pulled her close. Then those words just about killed the moment. He groaned bowing his head. "Cerridwen, love, why did you have to bring up that jacka**?"

The fact that she was giving him permission made him smile however and he wanted to kiss her all over again. She was letting him protect her, finally. "Thank you, love. I promise. I won't let him kill me."

That was all he could really promise for he was sure that he would come home much like any time after fighting Xavier. Battered and bruised but it would be wounds he would wear with pride in knowing that they would be the last time Xavier would ever hurt them. He grinned impishly at her inching in close snaking his arms around her unless she moved or pulled away. "Love? Who says I'm taking a shower alone?"

In a swift motion she was up and in his arms as he made his was to the bathroom, the master bathroom in fact. He wanted her in "their" bathroom, and hopefully, eventually, in "their" bed. If it had blankets or not. "You have no say in this. I have been gone far too long, and the paint is too damn sexy I just can't help myself. Love, you turn me into an animal."

Grinning a wolfish smile he started up the stairs to the bathroom. "Besides you naked and covered in paint will be my undoing, thus I must take your clothes off as soon as possible." He winked at her shifting her in his arms to try and kiss her again as he kicked open the door to the master bedroom.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Who said I was taking a shower alone?

Those words echoed in her head and made her smile. "Alone huh? No never, never would I leave my Eryk alone." She whispered kissing him as she swiped her up and moved her across their house holding her close. She let her arms wrap around his neck smiling up at him. "Really? I do all of that hm? And just a bit of paint, maybe next time I want your attention I'll parade around the house then in only paint and see what happens. Think of it...as an experiment" She suggested seductively as she was carried up the stairs and into their bedroom which currently had minimal furniture, there were towels in the bathroom but only one, and there was soap but it was only hand soap. The house hadn't exactly been prepared for them to do this yet but eh. Who cared? Who even noticed? They certainly didn't.

Like most couples, Eryk and Cerridwen just had their off days, and well nights, and that was okay. What Cerridwen wanted to know was...where did this put them? Were they...dating? Engaged? Broken up? She had no idea...though she was pretty sure broken up wasn't in that selection, especially since they were about to go have sex in the shower...and probably more after...and then probably go clean up the downstairs together. Couple who had broken up just don't do that.

He closed the door and they were in their bathroom. Damn why was he acting like this. She wouldn't lie, it was just...so damn attractive. She couldn't let it go now. She kissed his neck softly and wiggled to get free of his arms once they were in their bathroom, the privacy of their own bathroom. Once free, she reached to turn the knob of the water on, setting it to a very warm temperature as she looked to him and then to herself. Clearly they could not go into the shower as is. The cloth they were currently wearing served as a problem. She quickly corrected the problem pulling her hair up into a pony tail and doing just what she needed to do, and then looked to him waiting expecting him to follow suit maybe? She didn't quite know what she expected. Well she had a faint idea but no need to get her hopes up once more.

[eryk]

"If you do that I promise you I will be on you faster than a bee on a flower. Than a hummingbird to nectar." The kissing and nuzzling had his feet moving at increased speed. The sparse amount of furniture did not bother him, the one towel? Not a problem, and the bar of soap only proved to make him grin mischievously. Once their clothes were gone and the water running he had her in the shower and the outside world was shut out.

"You're a goddess, an angel, a Queen of Sexiness, and the embodiment of my lust. You are more beautiful than- oh to hell with it." All faded away save their bodies coming together under water, as swirls of diluted paint ran down the drain. His hands on her, her hands on him, and the smell of paint and soap filled his mind. He was so glad his boss had made him not work that day.

~~~

The shower had been amazing, afterwards mind blowing, and finally he was downstairs scrubbing paint off the floors. Only in his paint covered chef pants he scrubbed away. Being a lycan meant he usually didn't like wearing much clothes. How many wolves walked around in a three piece suit? He wanted to take a run through the woods but he'd made the mess and so he'd clean it up. Stomach growling Eryk groaned thumping his head to the kitchen floor. Why did he have to make such big messes? That took forever to clean?

"I think the floor looks fine with paint splatters." He grumbled his hand rubbing idely over a paint spot. Today could not go any better. No work, a nice walk, and make up sex. Nothing could beat make up sex. Nothing. Course repeat make up sex was always nice. Maybe he could "accidently" cover her in paint again. Raising his head he looked around for her seriously thinking about dumping paint all over her.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen had been in complete bliss. That was until after everything was said and done...and he was getting out...and she had realized...they forgot one little itsy bitsy problem. Once again: nothing. Zip. Zero. Nada. He really was as Rae said a family oriented man obviously. So she had dried off and gotten dressed again. She hadn't mentioned anything, at least not yet, as she stood at the counter watching him, he looked so happy...so carefree, why mention something to him? Why mention it and ruin his day? Well crap. She was torn between a rock and a hard place. Damn. Dman. Damn.
"Er...Eryk" She tried smiling. "Sandwiches are ready..." She whispered pushing a plate across the counter and setting a warm mug of tea next to him. "It's cold outside..." She added looking out. "My flowers...with no sun, I don't know what will become of them" She murmured trying to get her head off the fact that once again nothing. No protection at all.

Watching his head peak up, she smiled. That look was back in his eyes. That look. No. No no no no no. Not again. Not today, well maybe later...later. "Er Erykk...and um one other thing. Not to ruin the whole moment or anything because really I love you, and I loved the feeling you gave me, and I just I love everything don't get me wrong about you but uh...we umm.." She closed her eyes for a minute and shrugged "We forgot something...a little something that was pretty important...that little something that could I don't know prevent a little surprise from popping out in a few months?" She asked giving him a look. Then again there could already be a little surprise on the way, she had been much to afraid to look, to find anything out. She had just simply ignored everything.

She pretended like it never even happened that anything linked to it, going on around her never happened, wasn't happening. She just chose to ignore it. Yawning, Cerridwen smiled at him slightly. 'But you were very Talented Mr. Davidson" She whispered. She said his last name, she wanted...his last name. For him to be able to call her Mrs. Davidson, she like any girl would still had her head in those clouds, and one day, hopefully she would hear it. "So that is always a plus" She nodded.

[eryk]

Picking up the mug he went over to the counter to pick up the sandwich as well. After he swallowed a bit and sipped the tea he reached for her to pull her close, to wrap an arm around her waist as she talked. He was a touchy feely person and even though she was giving him some troubling news he still wanted her close. Right after a fight he always got extremely feely he found as if by touch he could reassure himself that she wasn't leaving that everything was alright again.

"I'm sorry, I...wasn't thinking." She needed him serious right now and all he could think of was her as she was in the shower. "If you want I can buy a test tomorrow?"

There wasn't anything they could do about it now; however, he had heard of a morning after pill that was basically killing whatever might be concieved. He didn't want to do that, but if she wanted to...it wasn't exactly a baby. Right? Eryk just didn't know about all that baby stuff other than what happened after it came out. He knew that stuff. "I don't want you to worry. There isn't anything we can do about it now. Besides it's usually hard for lycans to mate."

It was hard for female lycans to concieve he knew that much, but was it hard in general? He once again didn't know, but he didn't want to think about such things right then. What he wanted was to finish the sandwich and to have a repeat. But it didn't look like that last part was going to happen. At least he tried. Maybe he could convince her later, after he ran to the store for some actual protection. She needed to get to a healer and get some sort of pill or something. Added on to him wearing, that plastic thing. He cringed not at all liking the idea of wearing one. It did not sound pleasant or comfortable.

Taking a large bite of the sandwich he glanced outside to the clouds, they were rather dark. Maybe it would snow. He enjoyed snow, and loved running in it his paws kicking up white clumps behind him. Would this be their first winter together? First Christmas together? The idea excited him, and wanted him to work so much harder to get her an amazing present. Course, him finding out he was a father would be a nice present. Not that he wanted that right now but he would be happy all the same.

"Your flowers will come back once spring returns. Everything has its turns, love." He kissed her cheek not wanting her to leave his side. At least he'd gotten some of the paint off the floor. His eyes scanned the kitchen as he thought this munching on his sandwich. He'd have to make another one for his stomach was still growling at him for more. Just like other parts of him were growling for more of a completely different thing. Darn baby threats.

[©erridwen Corrigan]

Cerridwen stood holding her mug in both hands as he came to her and strung his arms around her waist pulling her close. As she listened to him, she kept thinking. Thinking about a lot of things. She just couldn't wrap her mind around the whole baby business. She just...couldn't. That was just something that wouldn't work out. Cerridwen didn't blink but instead stared into her tea, the steaming liquid in her cup, as she thought about it all. Everything, that's been going on, happening. She started with the most recent, at least the thing that has been on her mind most.

Xavier.

Yes, that would arise sometime, and maybe now was the time to let it out. All of it. Her thoughts, her feelings on it. Everything. Taking a deep breath, Cerridwen looked up at him. Her moss green eyes usually shining, happy, sparkling, today held worry, distress, anger. More then anything especially frustration. Behind her eyes, deep inside, there was all of this various emotions that were just bursting to come out, and maybe telling him, her reasoning, her actions, the explanation to it all, well maybe it would help. This of course being no sugar coated explanation. Just....the reason. The cold hard truth. Yes, possibly. "Eryk." Cerridwen said finally looking directly into his eyes. "I think...I know why I'm late" She simply shrugged and nodded turning back to look into her drink not wanting to look into his eyes anymore but to talk and be able to really speak without actually thinking about what Eryk would be thinking, or what he is processing in his mind. "It's...stress." She concluded. "I snapped at my sister the other night, and she really didn't do anything, and I've just been off the wall lately. Stress." Cerridwen informed and set her drink down as she leaned into him.

"It's not...I mean there is no way it's a baby. It's more then likely stress. It's from a lot of things as well...Xavier...us, my sister, problems, this house, getting everything ready, just a lot of things that I can't...that I really can't handle right now, and I thought I would." She said trying to explain.

"I don't snap at Minerva, and for some reason last night, just with her complaining about Cal, I just, I don't know, it bugged the hell out of me and it just totally got under my skin and made me snap. THen Xavier...Eryk I won't lie." Another big deep breath and Cerridwen looked up to him, this time into the eyes. Letting him know right know the intensity of growing fear she had. "He...scares me. A lot. I don't know...he just keeps following you, us, your family. I don't know what to do anymore and it just...it's really starting to get to me. You have to realize that's why I wanted to marry you so quickly. So I can have you, before he has the chance to take you away from me, Eryk I want to have you before I lose you. Emotionally. Physically" Her voice cracked some what and she sighed. "There isn't an easy way to say this Eryk...there really isn't but I just, I can't feel safe anymore. I can't. I don't, in the protection of my own home even...I just I don't. He scares me, and he's probably listening and by some chance there is children in our near future, I can't...I'd be afraid, to have them here, around--" She looked down wincing. "Around you. I love you, you have to realize that, but...just everything right now...it's I don't know. He's playing head games with us. We need to figure this out. We need to get Rae to help us. She's here to help us Eryk, why don't you ever get her to come?" Cerridwen asked once more looking up.

By this time she had pulled away from his arms, and was now facing him speaking. "I just...don't understand why you won't ask her to help you...us with this." Cerridwen questioned as she continued on. Xavier. He would always be some sort of problem in their life, some sort of obstacle. She wanted to take out this obstacle but if she didn't...then what would she do? Sit around and knit? I don't think so. Cerridwen wasn't your sit and knit kind of gal. Sure, she grew plants and foliage but that was different. That was, well could be hardcore, at least as hardcore as she wanted to make it.

"And then there is us, a week Eryk? YOu didn't speak, make contact...anything. I know, I screwed up but...I just, like I said I'm afraid. For us. I know he's not going to stop until he gets you back and I just, that's really hard for me, I know you want to protect me, and I'm letting you but at the same time, I just want to...I mean I want to protect you, what's mine, I want to protect you. He's going to just...take everything away until I have nothing left, you are my everything Eryk...he takes you and virtually I'm just...I'm broke." Cerridwen hiccuped. This was starting to get to her, and usually Cerridwen wasn't your crying kind of person, she didn't cry. That just wasn't who she was, but this was getting to her. The very thought Eryk was going to be taken from her, and the fact Xavier may harm his family, especially sweet little MaeLee and that just, it pissed her off, and it just depressed her, and now here she was now attempting to hide her face by putting it into his shirt made it that much more pathetic. Her own little breakdown. Everyone was allowed their own little breakdown every now and again yeah? She was just having hers.

Had Eryk even ever seen her cry? When he had asked her to marry him, she hadn't cried, that night in the tower she hadn't cried, maybe this was the first time...and then again maybe not. She honestly couldn't remember. She had seen him cry, and for that very aspect she loved him that much more. Sweet Eryk, her sweet Eryk. She needed to think of something, something to do for him, to show him how much she loved him. She wasn't sure yet, at least not at the moment how she would do it, but she would figure it out. Maybe Rae could help her. She had remembered Rae saying he was family-oriented, maybe she would...do something with him and his sister, maybe that would make him happy.

At his question she stopped talking and thinking and looked up blankly. A test? For what-- Oooh. That. Riiiight. That. "Er...no. Like I said. It's stress I'm positive." Cerridwen murmured and looked up. "I mean...I'm almost positive it's stress...not positive as in...positive. No it's stress I know. Plus it's been a month since that first scare, I'm pretty sure if anything had happened we would have known by now" Cerridwen babbled. One of her many traits that she had. To babble, and talk to much, something that certainly got her in trouble and sometimes even with Eryk which wasn't to fabulous."no I'm...I'm fine" Cerridwen waved her hand blowing it off and sighed slightly and looked up a small weak smile upon her rosy lips.

"That's right. Everyone has their turn I guess...I was just trying to cheat the system and ask Minerva to hold off on the whole snow business at least for a few months but really it doesn't matter. Plus a lot of people wouldn't be to pleased if we didn't have a white Christmas." Cerridwen murmured and smiled. "Our...second Christmas yeah? We've been going out for over a year...I met you in spring...er...were you off in a hospital while it was Christmas?" She asked curiously. She would have to think of a perfect Christmas gift for him, simple perfect. What would it be though...she had no idea. What did he want? Besides being family oriented and she certainly had no plans of giving him...well that, she could give him sex...but that happened almost on a daily basis, so it wouldn't be so Merry Christmas material, more like here, here's a Christmas bonus, and that be that. No, she would have to think up something perfect. Maybe a new flower...but flowers were just so...girly. Plus she was getting that for Minerva. Well making a crystal flower, at least attempting too. No she would make his perfect, yet she still didn't know what to get him. Hmm. She really was going to have to start hanging out with Rae more often. How could she have been going out with him for a year and a half...and still not an idea of what to get him?

This made her just feel so...depressed. How could Cerridwen be going out with Eryk and not know so much about him that she couldn't get him a gift. But then again special gifts were hard to come by, hard to think about and certainly involved creativity. Looking up to him she reached up and kissed him. "Your absolutely right, everyone has their turns.." She whispered continuing on with their previous conversation, thoughts of Christmas being pushed out and away. "And right now is my turn with you" She murmured before she moved from his lips, parting from the soft sweet kiss she had planted on his lips to nuzzling softly on his neck as she put herself on the counter to sit and help her get a slight bit of height and make this far easier on her. "Mmm I love you" She whispered and with that continued on with her business.