.:Experience Is A Hard Teacher (cont'd):.

[Ϛ Cylo]

From here.

Well, that was unexpected.

The hair-over-the-face bit that Kirien intended to simply cover her shame with came across more as intimidating than anything to Cylo. If you've seen The Ring, then you know what I'm talking about. So, even though he was big and brave and would sooner fight you than admit otherwise, he stopped walking toward her when he saw it.

But he hadn't gone as far as to actually back up when she approached him. and when she walked back and held out her arms to receive the cloak, he gladly, if confusedly, handed it over to her. It was pretty strange, of course, but it was the thanks, and more specifically, the stutter, that really got to him.

His first instinct was to offer the regular snappy comeback to that sort of thing. But his second instinct was to offer a sincere reply, since this was clearly not a normal conversation between them. However, his third instinct said that drawing attention to the fact that this was not business as usual by being kind to her would probably be a bad idea.

By this point he was getting sick of his instincts, so he decided to say screw them all.

"You're welcome," he said, firm and friendly. "Do you mind if I come with you? We don't have to talk or anything; we don't even have to look at each other. I just figure you might want some company, or... something."

Whatever it was that had compelled him to say all this to her, he was losing it, and quick. He hoped she didn't deny him, because that would mean he'd have to follow her against her wishes to complete Karmine's stupid 'test'. It was clear she wasn't in the mood for hurting anyone now, though he should have guessed this as soon as she dropped her fight with the teacher.

Really, he should've known as soon as she passed up a fight that something was very wrong. Now it would be up to him to either find out, or possibly make it worse carrying out the teacher's request.

[Kirien Melantha]

Kirien looked him straight in the eyes. What do you want? Why are you following me? And then, she was back to looking at his feet again, the transition so quick that he might wonder if she had even stared at him in the first place.

Silently, she slipped on her cloak and walked away, thoughts whirling in her head. Why would he follow me? People don't follow people for no reason! Why would he follow me, and not even intend to do anything? It doesn't make any sense!

I'm not interesting to watch. That's what it is, isn't it? Watching? Even if you're sitting there, or, or, or standing there not doing anything, you're sort of watching, aren't you? Like...babysitting? Is that what he's up to? Babysitting? Why do I need a babysitter?!

She was frustrated and annoyed. She would hate whoever thought she needed to be babysat! Cylo? Karmine? Someone else? She would hate Karmine for it; she wanted to hate him more than anyone else.

Why would anyone want to babysit me? What would could anyone gain from it?

She wandered halfway back to her previous position before she even realized she left the other redhead standing there, awaiting some sort of reply. She stopped and gave him a questioning glance over-the-shoulder, one that said 'Well, are you coming?' She felt a little impatient about it; couldn't he tell he was supposed to follow her? Couldn't he tell she was busy trying to figure out his intentions, and if he wasn't so confusing he'd have gotten his reply a whole lot sooner?

He can come with me, but only until I figure out this babysitting business. She reasoned to herself. Because if he does, then I can interrogate him.

Yes, that was exactly it! She preferred he follow so she could solve the Great Mystery of 'What's He Up To?' It had nothing, nothing at all to do with the fact that she was simply sad. And lonely.

She sniffled.

[Ϛ Cylo]

Unlike Kirien, Cylo's thoughts mainly consisted of 'duhhhhh' and 'is she going to kill me?' while she walked away and contended with her inner turmoil. He really didn't have too much on his mind; he wasn't going to bother confusing himself by trying to understand what exactly the girl was playing at. Something about the situation was extraordinary, he had accepted that, and that was all he needed to know. Anything more and he'd probably have a brain aneurysm trying to think it out.

He wasn't going to play this game until he knew the rules.

He had indeed just been standing there when Kirien began to walk away, but he more or less understood her backward glance, and so followed obediently along, not breaking her curtain of silence as he caught up to and walked beside her, his eyes kept adamantly forward.

He found his thoughts wandering to downright silly things following his decision to not think about it, and decided that maybe he could think about it, a little. So he broke the silence, though his voice was uncharacteristically quiet.

"Feel like talking?"

[Kirien Melantha]

Feel like talking? The distressed demon said nothing, gazing at her feet as she walked. She was embarrassed. Embarrassed to be seen showing weakness. Embarrassed that someone was somehow obligated to follow her around. Embarrassed that she did want to talk, even if she wouldn't easily admit to it.

No, she wouldn't admit to it. She couldn't show weakness. She was not weak. She clenched her teeth together, refusing to let the words slip from her mouth. She took deep, calming breaths, in through her nose and out through her mouth, to regain her composure. And she did. She stood up tall, smirking proudly at the end of the mostly-vacant hall. She was not weak.

She twitched. I am not weak I am not weak I am not weak! Her body was shaking and she didn't know why. She was fine, she was...

I am not weak I am not weak I AM NOT WEAK I AM NOT WEAK!

...sobbing. Between sniffles and sobs she let out an anguished cry that no one could possibly be able to understand, but it said how she felt. 'I'm sad and angry and confused.' She didn't know whether to tell herself that Karmine was a jerk, so it was okay for her to break down, or to tell herself she was overreacting and she should just suck it up.

She covered her face with her hands and slumped against the wall until she was a sad, quivering red ball on the floor, trying to hide from Cylo. She didn't want to be seen, but she wanted someone there. Just this one time.

[Ϛ Cylo]

Cylo looked increasingly horrified as further developments came to his eyes and ears, and yet, at the same time, he looked more and more like he was trying to conceal this horror from being outwardly obvious. Which he was, because he surely didn't want to offend Kirien at this moment. At other moments, sure, but this girl was opening up to him, in some shape or form, and it would be pretty damn terrible of him to hit her while she was down. Even he knew that.

But what he didn't know was how on Earth he would deal with the situation. This was not like dealing with one of his little brothers or sisters; he couldn't just wrap his arms around her and make everything okay. Or at least, he wouldn't, not while he still had any desire for his life to last longer than the next few seconds. So what could he do?

But as she slid down the wall into a pitiable pile, he knew he had to do something, if only because seeing someone so strong in such a state was just wrong.

So he sat down against the wall next to her, close enough, he hoped, to be comforting with his presence, but not touching her. For some reason, he had the absurd notion that he should start singing a lullaby. Really, he figured, it would either work and who-knows-what would happen from there, or Kirien would instantly snap out of it and bite his head off, literally or figuratively, either of which outcome was probably better than this. But he wouldn't resort to that.

He was a horrible singer anyway.

Glaring menacingly at a student who had stopped in the hall and was staring pretty obviously at Kirien, he gathered his wits about him for what would probably be the bravest thing he'd said in his entire life. And as soon as the gawker got the hint and left, he went for it.

"Listen, Kirien," he said softly, trying his damn hardest to be comforting even though it was a pretty uncommon emotion on his part, "you've got to realize that I really don't know how to handle myself in this situation any more than you do. But if you need someone to be here, just to listen, or even if you need a..." He swallowed, hard. "...a hug, I'm here."

His entire body tensed, like a spring about to be sprung. That was damn risky of him, and he was ready to run the moment she tried to kill him.

[Kirien Melantha]

Why's he being so nice? The shaking redhead thought to herself curiously, her sobs transforming into shaky little hiccoughs as she fought to control herself. We're almost like friends right now. Can...can we be friends?

The idea of friends made her excited, and her demeanor brightened ever so slightly. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute. Friends! Wouldn't it be nice to have friends again?

Maybe he doesn't want any more friends. She realized suddenly. I bet he has a lot. He seems like he has a lot.

"D-do you h-have a lot of...friends?" She queried shakily, squirming and sniffling as she sat. She kind of wanted to take him up on that hug he was offering, but she only scooted a half-inch closer. When she got too close to people, they ran away...

Maybe we shouldn't be friends. Maybe we shouldn't be anything. Maybe I don't need friends. Daddy says I don't need friends! Daddy says if you want to be a good fighter you don't have friends, because if you have friends, you get attached, and if you get attached, you get weak! Good fighters aren't weak! I don't want to be weak! Maybe I don't want friends!

"I-I had a f-friend o-once. He-he-he...ran...awaaayyyy!" She sniffled again. Stupid Karmine.

Maybe that's what friends do. Run away. Maybe that's why I shouldn't have them, maybe that's what he meant? Daddy knows that friends just run away, and when they run away, you're sad, and when you're sad, you're weak, and you can't be weak, cause, cause, cause, then you're...not...strong! I wanna be strong! I wanna be as good as everyone! I wanna beat everyone. I wanna be the best! Maybe I don't want friends! Friends are bad!

[Ϛ Cylo]

The 'friends' question caught him completely off-guard, and he was so busy thinking about not only how to answer it, but also why it was asked, that he didn't even notice Kirien inch closer to him. Which was probably a good thing, because he was wound up so tight he probably would have jumped out of his skin and been a good few yards down the hall already, so expectant of some sort of harm coming to him was he.

His first coherent thought as to an answer was that he should lie; of course he had friends, loads of them! But something told him now was not the time to be deceitful, and if Kirien decided to poke fun at him for opening up, well, he had quite the bombshell to throw back at her after all this.

"Actually, no. I don't really have any friends at all," he admitted. He didn't sound sad, or disappointed, or like he had only just realized this; he merely sounded like he was stating the answer to a math question, it was simply the unadulterated, uncensored truth.

By the time he actually got around to answering, she was already on to her next topic, which, guessing by her further loss of proper speech, was probably the major issue behind this whole breakdown. And, judging by the scene in the combat classroom earlier, Karmine was likely the subject of her ire. Karmine had certainly acted friendly, anyway. Perhaps he wasn't even aware of the apparent falling-out?

But he didn't want to pry; if she had something she wanted to say, she would say it.

That was it; his mind was set. He was going to sit there and listen; be a brick wall, but a brick wall she could lean on, a silent structure of support. Nothing more, nothing less.

So why was he raising his arm, first up from his side, then over top of Kirien's shoulder, and then placing it across her upper back as she leaned forward? Why was his hand softly, carefully patting her opposite shoulder, in an almost consoling manner? Was the entire arm acting of its own accord? Did it no longer fear for its own safety and that of the rest of Cylo's body? Did it not realize it could have just paved the way to Cylo's death or dismemberment?

Or maybe Cylo decided that, screw the consequences, Kirien was not some murderer, she was just a girl and she was upset, and he was in a position, possibly, to help, so he wasn't going to stand by and do nothing while she poured emotion all over the floor in a obvious and messy manner.

He just hoped he wouldn't regret it.

[Kirien Melantha]

"...he-he-he-he just ran away, no...reason! I didndonothhinghejustleftandhedidnsaynothing and, and, and...just...left! For a r-really long time! I don' think f-friends are supposed to d-do that! And then, and then...comes back, like nothing ever h-haaappened!"

Did she do something wrong, to make Karmine run away all of a sudden? He didn't seem to be acting any different when she saw him in class than how he usually acted...

Maybe friends just run away, and they come back after a while. She flushed slightly at the thought that maybe this sort of thing was supposed to happen.

"...do friends run away?"

If friends aren't supposed to run away, and he did, maybe we weren't friends in the first place. Her shoulders drooped and her gaze lowered at her realization. She kind of liked thinking she had friends...

"Oh!" The short redhead startled as if she was just woken from a deep slumber. She just remembered Cylo. She was talking, talking because she felt like talking, not really paying him much mind at all, and, oh, now she felt stupid! Now she felt weak. She was so absorbed in moping about Karmine's mysterious disappearance and reappearance that she forgot there was someone sitting next to her! She let her guard down! And there was a hand on her shoulder! "Um..."

She titled her head low and let her hair fall like a curtain on either side of her face. She wouldn't let anyone see her smiling.

[Ϛ Cylo]

He was relatively certain she was talking about Karmine at this point; the tutor sure seemed nuts enough to befriend Kirien, and brave (or stupid) enough to piss her off and not fear for his life. But he still wasn't going to jump to any conclusions, or ask any questions. He had a hard time channeling his mother and her way of making everything better, but a few things stood out, like not to ask too many questions, for one thing, and physical contact is usually a plus.

He stared at his left hand, which was tentatively patting Kirien's left shoulder. Physical contact, check. Not asking questions, check. But what next?

Luckily for him, Kirien decided to ask him a question, and took all the guess-work out of what he was supposed to do. Unluckily for him, he had no idea how to answer her query. Do friends run away? What did she mean by that? Did he even know what friends did? Hadn't he just told her he didn't have any? Why, he wondered, was he suddenly the expert on friends?

Maybe because I am one...

The thought scared and exhilarated him. They certainly weren't enemies, that was one thing he was pretty sure of at that particular moment. Unless this was all a clever ruse, but that didn't strike him as being Kirien's style. She'd have chopped him in two long ago if she intended on doing it at all. So maybe they were...?

"Friends... friends might run away, but it's the true friends that always come back, and it's like they were never even gone when they do." It was a little bit of a saying about love, forgotten and reassembled sloppily to explain the wrong subject, and he wasn't sure whether it was true or the right thing to say, but he felt good that he had at least said something.

Then she clammed up and leaned forward. And although he couldn't hear anything that would suggest it, he somewhy assumed that this meant she was crying again, hiding her tears from the world at large, and so his tentative patting transformed into a gentle tugging as he pulled her closer to him, in a sort of one-armed hug.

He liked that he seemed to, maybe, be helping, he really did; it was a nice change of pace and it made him feel good in a way no amount of joking ever could, but he thought it was pretty unfair that she got comfort while he felt like he was hugging a proximity mine. But he figured this feeling was mostly his fault, and so he made a decision;

F**k it.

Employing the use of his other arm as well, he pulled Kirien into a full-out embrace.

"Don't sweat it, okay?" he said, his voice quiet and close, and yet it still held some of Cylo's loud charm. "It will probably work out fine, and I know you'll make it through all right. You're the strongest person I've ever met; and even if this seems like a lot to deal with, I know you've overcome worse. Like even just talking about this, pretty damn impressive."

Not even he knew where that pep talk came from.

[Kirien Melantha]

The embrace caught Kirien off-guard, and she shook a little at the touch, surprised. She'd been caught off-guard too many times that day, but she decided right then that she didn't really care; she was in no danger.

She let her arms slowly snake around his middle; she was afraid of scaring him away. She already had Karmine run away from her, she didn't know what she'd do if Cylo ran, too. They were almost like friends!

I'm not letting you get away!

She tightened her arms around him, not enough to hurt, but enough to keep her rooted to him in case he tried to take off.

"I like you, Cylo. Will you be my friend?" The short redhead granted him a glimpse of a thank-you smile, even going as far as to flip her hair out of the way to do so. She wasn't sure why he was doing what he was doing, but it was nice, and she was thankful for that.

"True friends." She added, hiding her face by lighting touching her forehead to his shoulder.

[Ϛ Cylo]

Had Cylo not decided to give up worrying about his safety, he may have been relieved when Kirien returned his hug, but since he was already quite past relieved, he found it instead just made him very happy. This was not at all a bad thing, but it was really surprising, to him, that just getting a hug from the girl had such power over him.

Of course, he hadn't hugged anyone that wasn't family since his first year at the academy; the year that he had discarded the bright, cheerful, naive Cylo that he was as a child for a more hardened, detached one that could survive the trials of the teenage years, so it was perhaps not so surprising that a hug was something akin to profound, for him.

"I'd be honoured to be your friend," Cylo said humbly, and with a sly sort of smirk. Upon seeing her smile, catching a glimpse of a more innocent Kirien, he decided, right on the spot, that he would make it a life goal to put that smile on her face as often as possible. Maybe she wouldn't want the world to see it, but that didn't matter much to him, because she didn't seem to care if he saw it, and that was more than enough to make him happy.

And when she leaned in on his shoulder, he looked across the hall (though his eyes seemed to be seeing right through it) and a, genuine, sweet, happy smile graced his features as well, no trace of his signature grin to be seen.

"Don't supposed you want to go back to class, do you?" he said through his smile, and it was clear from his tone that it was just a question, not a suggestion. He truthfully wouldn't have minded sitting there for awhile, even though alarms were blaring in the 'keep to yourself' section of his mind.

[Kirien Melantha]

"Not really." Kirien said to her newfound friend's chest. She still had her arms around him, because he still had his arms around her, and she liked it that way. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd been hugged...

"No. I don't wanna go back." Perhaps for the first time in her life, she was willingly passing up a fight. She didn't want to go back to class, not after practically everyone in there had mocked her, and she wasn't sure she was ready to deal with Karmine, either. She didn't know what she was supposed to do, or what she was supposed to say to the flighty faery.

Maybe I just won't go back, ever.

She considered the idea. If she never went back, she'd never have to deal with her problems. But she'd have very little chance to fight, without getting herself kicked out of the school, anyway. And where would that get her? She wasn't sure she wanted to be mad at Karmine forever, either. Friends were nice...

"Grr! This is stupid. He shouldn't have ran away! Then this never would have happened! What am I supposed to do now?!" She didn't seem to realize that, in her frustration, she was thinking out loud.

[Ϛ Cylo]

"Didn't think so," he said with something that could just as easily pass as a small laugh as it could a big smile. He was pretty content where he was, in sort of the grand scheme of things, but he figured they should go somewhere, if only because the ground in the halls wasn't the most comfortable place to sit, and he was getting a little tired of glaring at everyone who gave them funny looks. He spent of moment trying to think of a good place to go, but for the moment, he came up blank.

Luckily, a distraction came in the form of another rant from Kirien. He didn't know anything about the circumstances of the tutor's departure, but it had apparently been pretty brief, and had shaken the girl a good deal. He wouldn't, previously, have thought anyone could get close enough to the girl to have such an effect on her, but that line of thinking had been proved wrong doubly today.

He decided that maybe asking a question or two, giving a mote of advice, wouldn't hurt too much. Besides, he was just plain curious.

"Do you know why he left? Have you asked him?"

He figured if she hadn't, then it was probably pretty obvious what she was 'supposed to do now', or at least, what step she should take to understand the situation better. He held no illusion of being some sort of master problem solver, but he thought this was just common sense anyway.

And through all of this, he never made to break the embrace. He was surprised to find that he felt no desire to end the contact with the girl, whereas normally he couldn't even talk to someone for more than a few minutes before he got antsy and had to end it. There was something calming about the hug; something that reminded him of happier, more innocent times.

He suddenly had an urge to see his family again.

[Kirien Melantha]

"No." Kirien replied with a curtness suggesting that she shouldn't have to ask. "He just...disappeared. And now he's reappeared like nothing ever happened."

He should have left a note, or something! Even if he got kidnapped! I wouldn't get kidnapped but if I did I'd go tell him right away!

She realized that Cylo was probably just going to tell her to confront Karmine, and she knew she should...but that didn't mean she wanted to. She was a bright girl, she wouldn't ask a question like that unless she was looking for a different solution.

"I don't wanna ask him." She told his shirt poutily. 'I don't know if I want to know why he just left.' Was what she meant. Maybe he wasn't ever my friend, or maybe he was and decided he didn't want to be anymore...

Her gaze gradually traveled upwards until she was looking right into his eyes, curiously, and maybe even happily. She was sick of looking at his shirt, and sick of hiding in it. Hiding made her feel weak.

I'm not afraid of you!

She trusted him, somehow, even though they hardly knew each other before. They were friends now, and friends didn't make each other upset. She could show him anger, sadness, or happiness, if she wanted, and she wouldn't be afraid. She wouldn't care if it made her seem weak, because she wasn't. Karmine, on the other hand, she was choosing to hide from. She didn't know if they were friends anymore, and it made her sad and frustrated. But if he wasn't her friend, how could she trust he wouldn't make her upset?

[Ϛ Cylo]

Cylo's words about true friends being the ones who always come back 'and it's as if they were never gone' echoed through his head, but he thought it was probably a little different in this situation. Still, he couldn't help but smile at the irony; he had not suddenly lost his stinging sense of humour due to a little compassion for Kirien.

"If you don't want to ask him, that's fine. I was just curious," Cylo said, gently as he could manage. "But I'm guessing you would really like to know."

Cylo's mind was going places it simply did not go; places of selflessness, places of sacrifice, places of favours, places that were in no way beneficial to him. He had long since learned to barricade these places within his mind, creating a veritable fortress of self-defence mechanisms and callousness. Helping other would not help him survive this harsh world; even if they had a debt to him for it, people did not always repay their debts. So why were walls suddenly being torn down?

"I could ask him for you, if you want. Not outright of course, I'm not an idiot. Well, sometimes, but that's not the point. I'd just bring it up in conversation."

And then she looked up at him, with a look that was, dare he say it, joyous, and he found himself reflexively wanting to kiss her forehead. It was more or less a brotherly sort of gesture, purely platonic, but he hadn't even kissed his own mother for years, and the shock it dealt to him that he had some sort of urge to do that unsettled him greatly.

His eyes suddenly went wide, almost looking fearful, and his grip on Kirien dissolved. He pulled away, not nearly hard enough to break Kirien's hold on him, but hard enough that she would sure notice what he was trying to do, and he began to sweat instantly. Some more logical part of him screamed at him, telling him he was about to undo all that he had done, and he somehow managed to actually grasp that thought.

"I'm sorry!" he said, almost sounding panicked. His voice was easily a few octaves higher than normal. "I'm uh... I feel... claustroph-ph-phobic. Can we g-go outsi-side?"

Cylo hadn't stuttered once since he was twelve years old.