Hindsight

[Locke F. Herald]

"Feel my way through it? And what if I screw it up?!" He now looked to Kennedy pleadingly, even thought Kennedy would not look at him.

Did he mean it? Maybe he did, he didn't know. It was...odd. On one hand, he had meant a lot of what he said to her, but on the other hand, he couldn't say that one word, and he was wondering now if maybe that was his brain stopping him.

"This is...the best thing that's ever happened to me..." Locke admitted embarrassed. "I just don't want to lose it. For the first time in a long time...I'm scared. I finally have something that is worth losing."

He wanted to kick himself.

"God why did she even chose me?! I wish I'd never even seen her, agh!"

You don't mean that.

Maybe not, but it would have been easier to just continue things as they were.

"What does she see in me that makes her so certain of this? How can she seem so strong and stable when I'm falling apart here? SHE'S the unstable one, living on her emotions, why I am the one breaking down?"

A tinge of jealousy and anger. He knew it was wrong but he couldn't help himself. Life may be sunshine and happiness for her, but for him it'd just been one really really long day.

[ken]

"If you screw up, you admit it, brush yourself off, and keep trying," offered Kennedy, turning to look at Locke. It felt odd, giving relationship advice. Especially considering how Kennedy's relationships generally went. But still, the older Cavan couldn't shirk that big brother duty of his, even if it made him feel slightly awkward.

"It always feels like the best thing, and you wonder why the hell it happened to you of all people," Kennedy continued. He had to smile a little now, remembering thinking familiar thoughts, "Just remember, she actually did choose you, so clearly there's something there worth having.

"As far as Kiri, well," he shrugged, "she's always expressed optimism. It's not easy for her, but that's the way her mind works. I've seen her doubt herself too, it happens."

He shifted now, looking away for a few moments to gather his thoughts. Several students were training, but no one seemed to really notice the two standing to the side.

"You're breaking down because you're overthinking and analyzing, because that's the way your mind works," suggested Kennedy, looking at Locke out of the corner of his eye. "There's just stuff about relationships that you can't really analyze, like I said, you gotta just feel through it and keep trying."

[Locke F. Herald]

Over analyzing it? Well that did make sense. Locke was familiar with the concept of thinking about something too hard, so it wasn't that hard to believe.

"Your probably right...it's just this isn't something I can just put on hold and come back to later. With my work I can take a step back and do something else, to keep me from over thinking it. But a mistake here could cause huge problems, and I'm scared."

What it took for the boy to admit fear would have been admirable.

"What do I do now? I know you said we have to 'feel' our way through it, that there is no way to just know, but that's...confusing."

He sighed.

"I'm sorry, I know you've told me all you can, because nobody really knows the right answer. Damn it why are girls so confusing?"

Was she going through the same thoughts he was? Right now in her room, the sunlight pouring in?

Was it the same for her as it was for him? No, she was always happy.

But the whole argument happened because you told her not to be fake happy, so she isn't always happy.

Perhaps...he had the same fears about her, that she had about him?

Psh, impossible.

[ken]

"I'd say you take Kiri out on a date and start, you know, dating her?" offered Kennedy smiling. He shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to act like this wasn't very obvious. Something that Locke should have thought on his own. "I mean, you're not going to learn how you feel about Kiri by talking to me, really."

Were girls really that complicated? Honestly, sometimes Kennedy had to agree. Angela and Morgan were two of the most complicated people Kennedy had ever encountered. On the other hand, Rae was about as easy to read as a book, almost transparent. And there were guys just as complicated as Angela at her most befuddling. So really:

"I think people are just complicated in general," said Kennedy. "There are simple people on both sides though. One of the simplest people I've ever met is a girl."

Mostly.

"Relationships are hard stuff, Locke, that's part of what makes them so rewarding. It's just easier to deal with that when you actually care about the other person," Kennedy finished, nodding.

[Locke F. Herald]

"C-Court her?!" Locke said, embarrassed fully now. Well....he had said he was her boyfriend...so it was only natural...right?

But he was right, he wasn't going to get the answers on his own, that much was for sure. Now where would he take her? There was the lake, but that didn't seem right, too close to school. No, a real date had to be somewhere out and about...somewhere like a restaurant or something.

[blue]"When I leave the academy I either go into the forest, or I go to town. There's a cute cafe I love there."[/blue]

A cute cafe? That might work, but how would he know which cafe? Kennedy might know.

"Hey Kennedy...you know Kiri well, I can assume. She mentioned some cafe in town, I think she said it was mostly vegetarian too, you wouldn't happen to know the place would you?"

Locke couldn't believe he was entertaining the idea of taking Kiri out to a restaurant. This was insane.

A good insane though, and Locke hoped Kennedy was right. He hoped it was worth it.

After all, it had been so far.

[ken]

C-court her?

Kennedy couldn't help but laugh a little at that. Both Locke's reaction to Kennedy's statement, and the strange saying employed. Who said "court" anymore? Apparently super-intelligent cat eared boys.

"You're in luck," Kennedy beamed at Locke now. "That just happens to be where Kiri took me and my dog one time. Where we happened to exchange those words you're oh-so-thrilled about. I know just where it is. I don't suppose you have a map?"

Kennedy knew full well that Locke could memorize, but couldn't quite remember whether the Gift carried over into the audio realm at all. A quick sketch though, and Locke would never forget the location.

"I can definitely give you verbal directions, it's in Masonville, for starters."

[Locke F. Herald]

Ok that was it, Locke needed to learn the proper way to speak. He was all too used to people finding his manner of speech humorous, but this was getting ridiculous.

"You know of it? Excellent! Uh...I mean that should be a place she would find to her liking." He said, trying to regain some composure. When Kennedy asked about directions Locke nodded.

"No map is needed, just start at a big place and describe the directions clearly. Like, how would you get there from the Main Park? I can make a map myself."

Locke closed his eyes and imagined the park, he was standing in it, by the fountain. As if to show off, he then placed a piece of paper from his pocket on the ground, and held a pen on it, eyes still closed.

"Go ahead, I'm ready. Oh, and if you can, try to use defined distances, like '2 blocks' instead of 'a little ways' and such like that. It'll make it easier for me."

"Let's begin then..."

[ken]

"Right," Kennedy nodded, "well for starters you...

"... and that should take you more or less where you need to be," Kennedy finished. He brushed his hands against one another and smiled at Locke yet again. "The meat puffs are the stuff of legend, and Kiri doesn't really mind if you eat meat in front of her. Might want to test it out sometime soon, just in case it becomes an issue later on. Unless, of course, you want to give up meat for her."

Kennedy shrugged; he wasn't certain whether he'd do something like that for Angela or not. He'd like to think he would. Fortunately nothing of that nature had arisen just yet. Knowing Kennedy's luck, Angela would be a vegan or something.

Ugh, tofu.

"Anything else I can help you with?" asked Kennedy.

[Locke F. Herald]

As Kennedy finished, Locke opened his eyes, grinning at the map he had made. He knew exactly where the place was, he'd seen it before in fact, but he needed to be reminded of it. He pokceted the map, a smile creeping across his features.

Vegetarian? Well, that made sense for Kiri. If you could talk to animals you probably wouldn't want to eat them. He didn't think she'd make an issue about it, but he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

Other things from Kennedy? Hmmm, well Kennedy was a tutor, which meant he knew the other tutors, at least in passing...

Ah! Yes, that is something important.

"Oh yeah, I heard we got a new tutor for 'Combat Practice.', and I was...uh...thinking about going to that class. Do you know anything about them?"

[ken]

When Kennedy had asked about other things, he'd been anticipating giving more relationship advice. Or possibly having Locke claim that was enough and leave. He certainly hadn't anticipated Locke switching the subject onto tutors. Fortunately, Kennedy had a good deal of experience in that matter.

"It's more like the old combat tutor's returning," he explained. "Karmine de Arcadia did a stint as combat tutor for a while, then vanished for a few months. Now he's blown back in town and they gave him his old job back."

Kennedy shrugged, it wasn't for him to know the inner-workings of the Academy.

"He's a very good professor, and is generally willing to work with just about anyone. I've seen him take combat leery Wingroses and give them the personal attention they deserve," Kennedy tactfully left off that at least one of said Wingroses had been his girlfriend, and that they'd gotten closer due to private lessons. "He'll be a good tutor to work with, probably better than me."

Kennedy grinned at Locke, as he knew full well that Locke didn't hold him in the highest regard. Considering the first few lessons Kennedy had overseen, he didn't blame him.

[Locke F. Herald]

Locke ran through the name in his head, he'd make sure to remember that. As he realized something he checked his watch. He'd spent too much time here already, he had only intended to observe people quickly and leave, and now he was risking throwing his whole afternoons schedule out of whack.

"Hmmm, I think I have to get going." Locke said thoughtfully. But his mind told him there was something he should still say to Kennedy.

"I'll see you later then, thanks for the advice! Oh, you better go let the medics take a look at you, they can probably fix that right up."

Locke started to walk away, but his mouth got the better of him as he walked, and he called over his shoulder something he immediately regretted.

"Oh yeah, there is some big oaf setting his sites on Kiri I've heard. Can you keep an eye on her until I can get it sorted? Thanks!" He responded without waiting for an answer.

Oh that was smooth, really smooth. Once past the door frame and out of line of sight of the training area, he took off at a run. After that statement he didn't want to talk to Kennedy again.

That would get awkward really fast.

[ken]

Great, watch out for Kiri now. Because Kennedy didn't have enough on his mind as it was. At least it was something he'd probably have done on his own anyway. What with the little sister thing and all.

Kennedy smiled and waved Locke goodbye as the youngster ran off. He looked decidedly suspicious, and Kennedy suspected that Locke might have something devious in mind. But, for now, Kennedy was willing to trust the Edengrowth. At least until he did something stupid.

"Medic, right," mumbled Kennedy, glancing down at his arm. He had things to take care of himself, and Locke's troubles could wait for now. Somethings you juts had to learn on your own, the hard way.

With that, Kennedy too left the training center, on to his own tasks.