banging on the door of an angel {reserved}

[Tristan Marcus Dell]

His question might as well have been rhetorical. Of course she wasn’t alright. Angela had always been a crier – sad, happy, angry, it didn’t matter – but the only times he had ever seen her completely fall apart like he had witnessed when he game out from the garage was when something was really, really wrong.

Tristan was surprised to learn that her father has been okay with Angela getting married. Travis, the world’s most intimidating man ever born, must have really liked this guy because it seemed to Tristan that Travis Sivart never liked anyone. Except for him, of course. But when Angela told him why her father gave his approval he was beyond confused.

“Why would he think-“ he began to ask, but he realized mid-sentence why Travis would think that his daughter was marrying him and not whatever the heck his name was (though he knew exactly what his name was). His eyes grew wide, obviously not believing the conclusion he conjured up. “You never told him about… about, uh,” How could he phrase it? About how you slept with someone else and forgot about me? About how I told you I needed time to think and made you wait in anticipation for a whole summer month before I broke up with you? They might have been making progress conversation-wise, but he didn’t think that that was something that needed to be brought up so quickly. He decided to tone it down. “About what happened, did you?”

He couldn’t possibly fathom why Angela would have let her father go all this time thinking that they were still together. And not only that, but that she had been with someone else practically this whole time. Tristan ran a hand though his hair and let out a disbelieving laugh. This night was getting weirder and weirder.

[✿ngela wingrose]

Angela swallowed as Tristan started his question. Then as it broke off mid-sentence, and she watched him piece together what it all must mean, she squirmed. As he put two and two together, she shook her head and massaged her temple as though she felt a headache coming on.

"No... at first I never even thought about it. We... Travis and I have grown apart, and whenever I call him I always get stuck on the line with his assistant. So when it did cross my mind that he should know I was..." she paused, "...seeing someone else... I didn't know how to tell him."

She hunched forward and put her head in her hands, hiding her face from Tristan.

"I had no idea he had such a low opinion of Kennedy already," Angela muttered, more to herself than Tristan. They'd both been skirting around the other boy's name, finding creative ways to navigate around it, but Angela grew tired of swallowing it every time the topic was approached.

She groaned as a cramp protested her bent position and she was forced to sit up again. One hand kneaded the sore spot absently through her dress. Her eyes were heavy with sadness once more, and she was looking everywhere but at Tristan. She didn't want to see how he reacted to Travis favouring him over her fiance.

[Tristan Marcus Dell]

It wasn’t necessarily a smug look, but there was most definitely traces of satisfaction in Tristan’s expression when he learned that Travis didn’t like Angela’s new (or really not so new anymore) guy. It wouldn’t have bothered him if her father did like her fiancé because, as he had told so many people, most of whom still didn’t believe him, he was over the whole thing, but it was still a little nice to know that if this were a game, he would be the one who was winning.

“Maybe you should just give him some time to let it sink in,” he offered, not knowing what kind of advice he was supposed to give when it came to a situation like this, especially when it was your ex-girlfriend who was the one with the problem. To Tristan, the whole conversation was simply weird. “I mean, you did kind of throw everything at him at once. I’m sure your freaked him out, Angela.” It was the first time he had spoken her name to her in half a year. “I’m sure when he saw you he wasn’t expecting you to tell him that you were engaged and pregnant.”

Though he would never tell Angela this, he thought that she brought all of this on her self. She was the one who let her father believe that she and Tristan were still together. She was the one who neglected to tell him that she had been with someone else since last fall. She was the one who got pregnant and she was the one who, months and months later, abruptly delivered the news that no father ever wanted to hear coming from his 19-year-old daughter’s mouth. Tristan figured he’d spare Angela that theory, however.

The boy jumped when his cell phone, which had been sitting on the coffee table in the middle of the living room, started to ring. He wouldn’t have been so startled if he hadn’t recognized whose ringtone it was right away. ‘We can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind, swim out past the breakers, watch the world die.’ He quickly looked from the phone to Angela and back to the phone again, deliberating whether or not he should answer it or let it go to voicemail.

“Sorry, I have to answer that,” he decided, reaching over to scoop the phone off the table. He gave Angela an apologetic smile before answering the phone. “Hey Liv… No, don’t take a cab. The airport’s too far away. I’ll just pick you up… I don’t mind… 4:30?... I’m serious, I don’t mind… hey listen, can I uh, can I call you later?... Oh yeah, three hour time difference… Okay… Bye.”

Talk about awkward. It was one thing to be hanging out, if you could call it that, with your ex-girlfriend, but it was something totally different to be hanging out with your ex-girlfriend and your other ex calls to discuss her upcoming visit to your house. The same house that the first ex was currently staying in for who knows how long, but you just hoped that their stays didn’t overlap.

“Sorry,” Tristan apologized to Angela again. He sounded guilty, though he really hadn't done anything wrong. He glanced down at the phone in his hand before he flipped it open and shut it off, wanting to avoid any more unexpected calls.

[✿ngela wingrose]

Oh, Angela knew it was all her fault. It didn't make her feel any less miserable though.

"I know," She muttered, massaging her temple again, "I just hoped it would be a lot different than it was." She took a couple minutes for herself where she just sat and rubbed her throbbing nerves. When his phone rang, she glanced up, and to acknowledge its importance she nodded, a weak look in her eyes.

He picked it up, and his voice changed. It sounded like he was trying to be inconspicuous, but she could tell that whoever he was talking to, they meant something to him. She knew because that was the way he sounded when he used to talk to her. She noticed the difference when he talked to her. Closer to the beginning of their conversation it felt like old times when they would confess everything to each other. But now she felt like he was losing interest in her fast, and the model did what instinct told her to do. After so many casting calls at the beginning of her career, she could feel when the director was hinting boredom. She shook things up.

Waving off his apology, she adopted a sly smile and tipped her chin in the direction of his phone, "Soo, who's this 'Liv'." It was killing her, to assume this was the girl Charlotte praised earlier. Angela never wanted to hurt Tristan in the first place, and of course she didn't want him to be hurting forever. She should be living her own life happily ever after, but for some reason she was dying of jealousy. She was jealous that Tristan felt that way about another girl. She was jealous Olivia had been there to help Tristan through the pain she was responsible for. She was jealous that the girl didn't have a father who hated her fiance. Basically, Angela envied her for everything she had, and everything she lacked.

But her envy didn't show as much as her curiosity, and Angela instead leaned forward to show her intrigue, this time ignoring the cramp made by the uncomfortable position.

[Tristan Marcus Dell]

She had to ask, didn’t she? Is was then that Tristan really wished that he had just let his phone go to voice mail. He was hoping that Angela wouldn’t notice that tiny part of him that was trying to be inconspicuous during his phone call, but she knew him much too well.

“That was a friend of mine,” he answered shyly. He thought about leaving it at that, ‘a friend of mine’, but he didn’t think that that would be fair to the girl in question. She had been more than a friend, much more than a friend, and Tristan couldn’t knock her down like that.

And why should he have to, he wondered. There was a part of him that wanted to tell Angela that it had been no one important on the other line or that Olivia had been an old family friend, but he also didn’t know why he felt that he had to lie to her. Was he trying to spare Angela’s feelings? She certainly hadn’t given him the same courtesy when she decided to get engaged and get pregnant, so he felt completely justified in telling her about the girl he had dated for a little while.

“Her name’s Olivia. I met her when my mom and I were still tearing apart the diner. I’m assuming she told you about the diner, right?” he continued. If he was going to give Angela the story, he might as well give her the whole story. After all, she was the one who asked. “She worked in this coffee place I would go to every morning. We uh, we were together for a few months, but we broke it off when she moved away for school. You and I both know that the whole long distance thing doesn’t really work out.”

He shrugged. The last comment hadn’t been a dig at Angela, even though it might have seemed like it. He was through with being bitter, and he hoped that sitting down and taking to Angela would further prove that.

[✿ngela wingrose]

She didn't know why, but his brief hesitation and vague description of Olivia made her smile. He still cared about her enough to automatically want to spare her from hearing something that would no doubt hurt. She did want to know more though, and was grateful that he offered more without further prompting.

As he explained, Angela nodded to show she knew about the diner, and the picture he painted was all very sweet. Tristan and Olivia were together for 'a few' months. How much was 'a few'? She refused to sound nosy though, so she kept her lips shut. Then when he commented on long distance not working, she opened her mouth to protest. But then closed it again.

They were still strong when they were apart. Sure it was hard, some days more than others, but it only made Angela more fond of the boy. Missing him had really attributed to the level of affection she had for him. Maybe that was why she felt so deeply for him now. Would these feelings ever fade? For the sake of her sanity, she told herself she hoped so, however her heart wouldn't hear it. Long distance strengthened their relationship, and it only something supernatural could have tampered with it.

But she kept all this to herself. He didn't need to hear it; it didn't sound like he was accusing her so she had no excuse to act defensive. Instead she nodded, her smile may have been a little forced but other than that she didn't look nearly as crushed as she felt.

"I'm glad you met her," she said, and although she never thought she would be, part of her was, "Charlotte made her sound perfect." Angela wasn't quite able to hide the wistfulness from her voice, and a mixture of envy and remorse hovered in her gaze. However, she was staring at the spot on the couch next to her, too absorbed in her thoughts to think about hiding her feelings from the boy she was so accustomed to being unguarded with.

[Tristan Marcus Dell]

“Yeah, my mom really liked her,” Tristan nodded, almost pensively. It was clear that he was thinking about the other girl, the nostalgia in his eyes shining through the green. “She’s just really… cool. Really carefree.”

Tristan turned to his side and gestured toward a picture in a silver frame resting on the mantle above the fireplace. “That’s her right there,” he told Angela, referring to the picture of himself standing behind a cute brunette, his arms wrapped around the girl’s shoulders and one of her hands sitting on his forearm.

There were no picture of Angela displayed around the house. After Tristan came home that one particular day last summer and told his mother what had happened, Charlotte took down every single picture of the blonde beauty, and boy were there a lot of them. She didn’t have the heart to throw them away, mostly because Tristan looked so damn happy in many of them, but also because she hoped that maybe one day down the road Angela and Tristan would be able to sort things out. The pictures were currently in a box under her bed upstairs.

Neither Tristan nor Angela could see her, but Charlotte had poked her head around from the kitchen just to make sure that World War III wasn’t going on in her living room. She had no clue how her son and the girl who was once the girl of his dreams would do after not seeing each other for so long. Would they fight? Would they ignore each other? She had no clue. Thankfully, Charlotte saw that they were getting along just fine, and the warmest of smiles crept on to her face.

“Dinner in five minutes, you two,” she told the kids, stepping into the living room. “Angela, you like green bean casserole, right? I made baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and the casserole. If I would have known you were coming I would have made something more exciting. I’ll make it up tomorrow, I promise.”

She tapped her wrist, though there was no watch resting on it, to remind them that dinner would be on the table in five before scooting back into the kitchen.

[✿ngela wingrose]

The way he described her... it made Angela think of what could possibly make her so different. So special. But she kept her jealousy in check and instead stood to examine the photo he indicated. Outside of this situation, if Angela were reading a magazine and saw Olivia in an ad, she wouldn't think too hard about it. But because of her connections to Tristan, suddenly she was the most beautiful girl on the plant, and Angela was green with envy.

"She's gorgeous," Angela breathed, not so stealthily hiding her feelings. She didn't touch the photo, but her gaze shifted to the smiling Tristan standing behind her. Their pose was something intimate yet casual... natural. She was yearning for those days despite her wish to not think of it.

When Charlotte popped her head in, Angela twisted to acknowledge it, and she offered a nod and a broad smile to respond that yes, she loved Charlotte's green bean casserole. "No, no, don't worry. It's perfect," Angela promised, although she took it as a good sign that Charlotte was offering to put up with her for dinner tomorrow night. She didn't want to stay past her welcome, but then again she was in no hurry to go to Illinois to live with Kennedy and his family.

"Thanks, Charlotte!" Angela called after the woman as she vanished to the kitchen again. She then turned back to Tristan and grinned. "I love your mom," she said matter-of-factly. Despite feeling like she would never deserve to be here, and despite her insecurities around Tristan, Angela felt at home here. Charlotte Cooper was a big part that attributed to this feeling. Tristan wasn't pushing her away either, which helped her feel a little less unwanted.

"So, it sounds like Olivia's coming over?" Angela asked, trying to gently bring that subject back into the conversation. She wanted to know when, so she could bolt before the girl arrived and save everyone from awkward silences.

[Tristan Marcus Dell]

Tristan, being the most typical boy in the world, failed to pick up on Angela’s jealously. It wasn’t that he wasn’t attentive - he watched her closely as she crossed the room to look at the photograph – but he couldn’t see a reason why Angela might be jealous. It would have absolutely blown his mind of he had known what she was thinking. As far as Tristan knew, Angela had been done with him for a long time, so why should talk about someone else bother her?

He turned away from Angela when his mother popped in to remind them about dinner. While he may not have noticed Angela’s unexpected jealousy, he did notice that this really did feel like the old times. Obviously they were both watching what they said around each other and dancing around the topics that neither of them really wanted to talk about, but everything else was just like it used to be. Lounging around doing absolutely nothing, but it being enough because they were together. Charlotte making dinner, worrying if Angela would like it because she wasn’t always the best cook. It was the first time in a long time that he had missed those time. And Angela.

He nodded to Charlotte, smiling at how even after all the complaining his mother had done about Angela and all the harsh names she had muttered under her breath, she still treated the girl like nothing had changed.

Tristan tensed up a bit when Angela asked about Olivia visiting. He had accepted a long time ago that she was happy with someone else, and though it was completely weird, he would eventually get used to the fact that she was pregnant. But knowing this and actually having to see her with her fiancé were two different things. He could understand why she might be bothered by Olivia coming to stay with him.

“Yeah, she’s uh, she’s flying out here for a few days next week,” he told her, pangs of guilt hitting him, even if they were faint. But he didn’t want to talk about that. That was next week, this was now. Instead he brought up something that had been on his mind for a long, long time.

“I um, I think I’ve owed you an apology for a while,” he said, leaning back in his chair. He was pretty sure she hadn’t been anticipating that. “I’m sorry I told you I hated you the last time I saw you.” Though they both knew that she had practically forced him to say it, and he had even told her right then that he was only saying it because it was what she wanted to hear. “And I’m sorry for anything else I said or did.”

[✿ngela wingrose]

Alright, so Olivia wasn't coming until next week. That gave Angela plenty of time to catch up with Tristan and have him all to herself. Oh, and to calm down and ready herself for Illinois. That was important too. Angela turned from the mantel and after his explanation she lifted off from the floor and landed as gracefully as she could on the couch.

"She's flying out here, or flying-flying?" She joked, although she did wonder if this Olivia girl had any special powers. If she didn't, did she know of Tristan's gift? She was dying to start asking the questions when Tristan did something very unexpected. He apologized. He apologized. To her!

"What-?" She started to say, but he continued and she carefully lowered herself on the couch, legs bent beneath her. His words dredged up the scene he spoke of, that sour memory she'd pushed away for good reason. She'd purposely been thinking of all the good times they shared. This particular moment... wasn't one she wanted to remember, but always would.

"That was my fault," Angela insisted, horrified that Tristan felt any guilt over what happened. He was completely innocent; if he harboured any guilty feelings over Angela's mistake, the young woman would drown in her own. "Everything, everything was my fault, Tristan," She shook her head, "please don't apologize to me. It's torture to hear you say you're sorry."

With that being said, she made a face and decided that since it was confession time, ergo prime time for apologies, she had her own to make.

"My turn," her brows cringed, "I messed up, big time, and you will never know how sorry I am," Angela's voice was sincere, her eyes reflecting her ache. But she closed them and turned her face to the side as though looking at Tristan hurt her more. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Tristan," she shook her head, "I really, really screwed up. I'm sorry it hurt you, I'm sorry it hurt us, and I'm sorry I'm with him-" her eyes snapped open and she covered her mouth with one hand as if it might stop her from saying it. But it was out, and she needed to back-track. "Th-that's not what it... That came out wrong."

Sitting in front of Tristan was just getting comfortable. Now she had to open her mouth, accidentally admit she wasn't happy in her relationship, and all that comfort disappeared. She started squirming again.

"I'm just really sorry for everything," she finished lamely, looking at the doorway as though willing Charlotte to interrupt again and ask for help with the caserole.

[Tristan Marcus Dell]

Tristan could tell as soon as he brought up that crushing day that it made Angela uncomfortable. He didn’t blame her – he had said some pretty harsh words that day.

“You know what Angela, if that’s what’s going to make you happy, then fine,” he just about laughed. “I hate you for making me feel guilty about something you did. I hate you for making me feel like the biggest idiot on the planet, and for embarrassing the hell out of me. Is that what you wanted to hear? It doesn’t matter what I tell you, Angela, because you know none of it’s true. But if that’s what it takes for you to get what you want, well there it is. I said it.”

That was his biggest regret of their whole twisted, complicated ending. Breaking up with her and completely shutting her out of his life had been one thing that he had gotten used to, but he still held on to the guilt of telling Angela that he hated her, especially because, even after what she had done, he didn’t.

“It wasn’t all your fault,” Tristan argued. There was no point in telling Angela that none of it had been her fault because even though she may have been one of the most naïve people Tristan knew, she wasn’t stupid. She knew what she had done and there was no point in pretending that it wasn’t wrong. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you and, I don’t know, I probably should have listened to your side of the story more, but I guess I was too mad.”

Tristan shrugged casually, as if to say ‘but whatever, it’s old news’. He was going to tell her that it didn’t matter and that there was no point in laying blame on anyone anymore, but then she delivered her own apology. She was sorry she was with him. What words were going to finish that sentence before she cut herself off? Instead of you? Tristan decided he’d rather not know.

“Don’t be sorry,” he instructed, sounding a lot less sure of himself than he had before. “Things change. People change, that’s pretty obvious. I know I said before that I wouldn’t be your friend, but uh, I take it back now.”

It was his peace offering. It was Tristan’s way of letting Angela know that he was ready to let her back into his life if she was willing to let him into hers.

[✿ngela wingrose]

She listened, even though she didn't want to hear his apologies. His repentant words made her want to dig her own grave. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, maybe apologize again, but he told her not to be sorry, and even worse, he was trying to make it sound like it wasn't her fault. As much as she appreciated the gesture, she knew it was her decisions that stuck them where they both were now. Her being pregnant, and Tristan waiting for another girl to come to town.

Again, she was about to protest, but then he offered her friendship. Angela blinked stupidly for a couple seconds. He still wanted to be friends with her? His words sounded genuine, but Angela could still taste his denial when she first suggested the possibility.

"Y-you're sure?" She asked, uncertain and hesitant. The blonde tucked some hair behind her ear so her face wouldn't be hiding so much, and she looked at Tristan. Really looked at him. He was willing to put everything behind them, the good and the bad, all in hope to be her friend? It sounded too good to be true, and she was more than ready to leap on the offer. But only if he could really do it. Because a friend was going to have to be there for her, and Angela knew she could stick by Tristan through thick and thin (even if she harboured some unrequited emotions for him), but she didn't want him to feel obligated to stand by her side in the next five months. She was going to be up and down and pure hell to be around, she was sure. He should probably put that offer on hold until after everything settled down.

"You're not just saying that to be nice, are you? Because you're the nicest person I know, but I don't want you to say it just because it'll make me feel better." Why was she questioning this? This was something she wanted, really, really badly. Why wasn't she leaping all over the opportunity and not giving him a chance to back out?

She had no idea. Her life was so mixed up right now, what was one more twist? What she did know, was that if Tristan still wanted to be her friend, she would be the best friend in the world.

[Tristan Marcus Dell]

‘You’re sure?’, she had asked him. Well, was he? Just as he had told her before, he didn’t know how to be her friend. It wasn’t like they could go back to being friends because they were never really friends to begin with. It had been an immediate attraction from the first night that they had met in the dark common room at the beginning of his, and what was supposed to be her final year of school. She helped him get back into his room after he locked himself out and he promised to keep her safe from vampires and whatever other creatures she thought were lurking in the night.

He was absolutely smitten with her from that moment on, and he was pretty sure that it had been that way for her as well. Well, until she decided to hook up with the school hero. That kind of changed things…

So could they be friends? Could Tristan watch as her stomach grew along with the life inside it? Could they develop a friendship to stand in for the one they never had when they first met when he was sixteen years old? They would never know unless they gave it a shot.

“Positive,” he answered, and he was. Tristan pushed himself up from his chair and his long legs took the couple of steps to Angela on the couch. “Now come on. You know my mom hates it when anyone is late for dinner.” He offered her his hand, which was accompanied by a hopeful grin.

[✿ngela wingrose]

The long pause between her question and his answer made her antsy. She fidgetted, trying to imagine what it was that raced through his head. Was he picturing what it would be like, to be together but not together? Angela supposed she should be doing the same, wondering if it would be possible, but she was too anxious to know what he thought. She was all hope, and she prayed to whoever might be listening that he kept true to his invitation.

And he did. His response made her mouth flutter into a smile, and when he offered her his hand, her lips pulled into an imitation of his own. Grinning at each other, she slipped her hand into is and let him help her up, and she walked with him to the kitchen. The smell of dinner assaulted her and she was instantly starving.

"Oh Charlotte that smells wonderful!" She exclaimed, but before she sat at the carefully prepared table, she leaned up on her toes, placed a hand on Tristan's shoulder, and whispered, "Thank you."