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Post by ĸara вelova★ on Nov 25, 2009 15:16:07 GMT -5
November 13th, 2009
The other day Kara had visited the post office and ran into her former friend. His initial reaction to her didn't upset her at the time, but the memory lingered. The way his eyes assessed her, ran over her gaunt face and stick-thin arms. After their time together, she examined herself from another point of view, through the eyes of another. She was hideous.
She's never been beautiful, but she'd been attractive enough for a boy to call her a 'looker' at one point. Enough to hold Eiji's interest, for however short a time that seemed now. But her reflection was a stranger.
She touched the deep purple skin beneath her eyes, attempting to rub the colour away, but it was resilient; a stain bruising her pale flesh. Her hand dropped limply to her side. She was trembling.
In a mood she couldn't define, she raided her closet for her violin - had it always been this heavy? - and carted it to an empty classroom. She spared a look to the schedule, and determined she had enough time to herself before the next class came in. She needed music, the soothing battle of strings. And she needed to be alone. Kara lifted the violin to her shoulder and braced it with her chin, closing her eyes. She drew the bow up to the strings and slid it across like a knife. A screech echoed in the room and she flinched.
The frail girl adjusted the chords until they were to her liking, and she repeated the first move. This time the screech was in tune, and it lead into a beautiful introduction of a song she'd practiced long ago. But soon she was giving an improvised concert to an audience of herself, pouring her emotions into notes that reflected her remorse and uncertainty, her despair and her chaos.
The door opened, but she wasn't stopping for anyone. Her invisibility kicked in to protect her, hide her from her unwelcome intruder. She played on, the bodiless music claiming the chamber. She was a one-person ghost orchestra, the composer, the violinist, the conductor all at once. Like all her work, the song had a distinctly haunting undertone, the emotions looming in the notes, embracing each chord with a chilly hug.
She opened her eyes to see who was there, and the deja vu halted her mid-stroke. The song ended abruptly and Kara flickered back into existence. She studied him for a moment before her lips curled into a smirk. The girl looked like some sort of evil, malnourished ghost. She spoke one word, her voice refusing to inject intonation.
"Leo."
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Post by Leogare Lasteulf on Nov 25, 2009 17:30:15 GMT -5
Why?
Leo found himself asking that question often. Why some things happened, why he acted in certain ways he knew were self destructive.
Why did he follow the melody when he knew full well where it would lead him? And why did he want to be back here?
Why was he so drawn to the ghost named Kara Belova?
He stood in the doorway, and when he saw nothing there, he closed his eyes. And he saw her then, sitting there, her eyes closed as she focused on the haunting melody she produced. As it played, he felt the emotions in it, and he was sure it had nothing to do with her powers. No, this song was possibly the purest manifestation of her soul.
And all too soon, the melody stopped as she opened her eyes to see him. Leo opened his eyes at the silence and just in time to hear his name called. And so, the world the two were in vanished like a soap bubble. Leo was merely left staring at the poor girl, for whom he could not help but feel pity. She looked so weak, so tired, and he thought she might fade away as he looked at her, just like a ghost.
"Hey." He said, responding to her. And followed it up with the kind of sensitivity Leo was always known for.
"You look like hell."
It did occur to him that perhaps that was not the best thing to say, so he figured he'd try to amend it slightly.
"Something happen?" He asked her.
Yes that was it, he was concerned about her well being, not that he was an insensitive jerk.
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Post by ĸara вelova★ on Nov 25, 2009 21:58:48 GMT -5
Kara gave a dry laugh at his observation. Maybe once she would've been offended. But she couldn't scorn him for pointing out the truth; hell was the perfect word to describe her world right now.
She tucked her hair out of her face; it had come loose as she swayed with her song. It revealed the entirety of her white face, and her dark eyes popped even more, inset as they were in their bruise. His question didn't surprise her either. He probably wanted to know what happened to her, so he could avoid looking like this.
Instantly she knew what she should say. Kara should tell him a lie to ease the genuine concern she could feel from him. His anxiety for her permeated the air and made her heart ache. She didn't know why this pain was so much more welcome than the agony she felt before. The pain of being worried about brought on a completely different feeling.
"I haven't slept... lately..." It wasn't exactly a lie. Her nightmares kept her up during the hours everyone else was asleep. She didn't sleep in her own bed anymore, instead finding refuge on park benches and school couches. Her room didn't feel safe to her. Nowhere did really, but she wasn't searching for comfort.
Maybe she should be. Something about Leo, however much she disliked him, was familiar enough to make every fiber in her body relax just a little.
"You look... good," She was still feeling a little social, leftover from her encounter with Eiji, she assumed. Kara usually didn't speak so many words. The last time she was with Leo she was a hostile bitch, all snarls and grimaces. Today she humoured an apathetic smile and mildly tolerant conversation. She wondered what Leo would make of it.
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Post by Leogare Lasteulf on Nov 29, 2009 16:49:23 GMT -5
Leo listened to her excuses. He knew a little bit about Kara, and she was giving him a half truth. That wasn't all there was to it, but he knew better then to force such an issue with her. If she wanted to tell him, she'd tell him. And if she didn't, then no amount of coaxing would part her lips.
And that was business as usual, he was prepared to take the reigns of the conversation as usual when, once again, Kara took him by surprise.
"You look... good."
Did Kara just compliment him? Did she just act friendly and polite? What...the hell? This wasn't the way it was supposed to be, and this wasn't how Kara acted.
Now he was sure something was wrong.
Looking thin and gaunt...radical changes in personality...lack of sleep...depression. These were all very bad signs, and he'd actually seen them before.
"Are...you ok Kara?" He asked, moving closer to the girl. He was afraid if he touched her she'd bruise under his fingers, so thin did she look. "Something is wrong." He stated definitively.
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Post by ĸara вelova★ on Nov 30, 2009 17:19:37 GMT -5
Kara blinked. Really? Leo was the 'avoid girly conflict' kind of guy. She wasn't expecting his concern, or his insistence. As he closed the distance between them, she instinctively flinched back, but there was no where for her to go unless she wanted to topple backward in her chair. She placed the violin aside on the desk next to her, giving her the excuse to turn and shy away from Leo's intense stare.
Something is wrong. He was so sure. She wanted to inject some doubt into him, so maybe he would leave her alone, but she didn't. Some twisted part of her wanted his sympathy, his company. Dying really changed a person.
So she just nodded, but it looked like Leo would have to try a little harder for her to admit anything more. Her lips clamped shut, pursing tightly together, and it appeared as though she regretted admitting anything to him. She reached out for her violin, but she didn't feel like playing it anymore. Her hand pulled back in an unsteady jerk until her thin fingers were curled around the pendant of her necklace. The sharp points of the star cut into her palm, leaving uncomfortable indents in her skin, but she didn't care. It helped her jump back into reality.
She was in a classroom, alone with Leo. Leo. She hated Leo! And he couldn't like her; she'd been nothing but horrible to him. Why he cared about what was wrong with her, she had no idea. He was a lot sweeter than he appeared, all tough and fit and able to do crazy flips off gymnastics bars... her first impression of him hadn't changed, but instead something was being added. He wasn't the bully she thought he was. He was actually... nice...
"You shouldn't talk to me," Kara warned, although despite the genuine alert in the statement, she hoped he didn't listen. He shouldn't talk to her, but she wanted him to. She couldn't explain it. It was like... suddenly she wanted to exist. To be known. To be remembered. All these months she'd been doing her best to do the exact opposite. To disappear, to never leave any imprint of any kind. But now she was like her damn necklace, desperate to leave her mark on anyone who dared hold her.
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Post by Leogare Lasteulf on Mar 4, 2010 22:30:42 GMT -5
OOC: I just got inspired to write Leo, so if you want to continue this, I'm down.
IC: Leo glanced at Kara as she made this simple comment. He wasn't going to let her slip away like this, he didn't need that on his conscience too.
"Nope, not gonna do that." He said, rather flatly. "I leave you alone, you might think it's ok for you to just fade away out of life, and there is no way I'm letting that happen." He advanced on her, a bit more serious now. "You're quiet, you hide away, you don't like being seen or even being recognized. And now you seem to be waiting to fade away. Well too bad, I'm not letting you do that to yourself, cause I think there's something worth seeing in there if you'd just up and let it out."
He turned his back to her for a moment and shrugged. "Course what do I know? I'm just an arrogant, womanizing show off with all the depth of a puddle after a spring rain. Isn't that right?"
He glanced at her over his shoulder. "Maybe I seek you out because I want to see what exactly you are hiding. I'm the adventurous type, things like that interest me. So what is Kara really like, behind all the walls?"
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Post by ĸara вelova★ on Mar 5, 2010 8:40:44 GMT -5
His words! Everything he said was everything she was too scared to admit she wanted to hear. Had she been waiting all her life to hear someone say them? That they weren't going to sit back and let her die, that she was worth the effort. Like lightning the realization hit her - this was what bothered her about Eiji. She was dying, and he didn't give a damn, and that's why it hurt so much. Leo, who was nearly a stranger, wanted more for her than her former best friend.
Her shoulders sagged, and her expression crumpled. Leo had been ecstatic the last time to see her express some kind of emotion. What would he do now that she was completely and utterly defeated? She wouldn't look at him, so she could only imagine the victory dance. In her mind, she was something to be ridiculed and pitied. She didn't understand why anyone would want to lend a hand to a basket case like her. She would never admit it, but she appreciated his attempt. How genuine was it? Would he abandon her if she told him to leave? She shouldn't test him, but she didn't want someone to just say 'want help?' and then get distracted.
"Kara's just as pathetic as she looks," She said, shocked that her voice was hoarse. She'd been going for blase and unaffected, but that attitude was clearly shot from the emotion strangling her tongue. Kara swallowed, trying to push the knot forming in the back of her throat away. "And what's wrong with fading away?"
She was just about ready to anyway. But she, of all people, knew what was wrong with just slipping away unnoticed. That feeling of insignificance wrapped around her entire thin frame, constricting her so she couldn't move. It crept into the few dreams she managed to have, the ones of her death and how no one would show at her funeral, not just because she was unloved, but she couldn't financially afford a ceremony. And as if any god would welcome her to their heaven, the girl who had too much greed and pride. She would be like an Egyptian pharaoh and hoard all her precious belongings from the world - not that anyone would find a collection of tin and iron impressive enough to raid.
"Why do you care?" She asked at last, and this question only he could answer. Maybe. Or maybe he wouldn't be able to find a reason for his concern, and realize he was just wasting his time. Test two, and she hadn't even planned it. Leo had two opportunities to just walk away here, and she hated herself for hoping he'd stay.
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Post by Leogare Lasteulf on Mar 5, 2010 23:05:07 GMT -5
"Pathetic?" Leo echoed. "Hmph, there was a time when I might have agreed with that. A time when I thought that what you were was what people judged you as. But let me tell you from experience, you can't live a life by someone elses definition." He stopped for a moment and looked at her, his expression difficult to read.
"What's wrong with fading away...why do I care...I guess those are fair questions, but I think the best answer is that you aren't allowed to take the easy way out." He stepped close to her, the space between them shrinking away.
"You can't die until you've lived. You want to fade away, fine. But not until you've actually seen a little something of what this word has to offer. What does it matter if you're just going to vanish anyway? Least you could do is try, you might find something worth hanging on to. And lastly...why do I care..."
He stayed silent for a moment. Kara might have thought he wasn't going to answer when he spoke.
"My racing posse was 11 people. Of these, Johnny, Alex and Rich died in racing accidents. Ed and Hal died due to drug overdoses. Tommy and Scott are in jail for Vehicular manslaughter, and I should be right next to them. Will and Vic got out with their lives, lucky devils. I'm here due to my gift getting me out of where I should be...and then there is the last one."
He glanced out the window, obviously bothered. "Cameron. He was my mechanic. The day I 'went to the basement', that is, crashed. I collided with another racer and my axl snapped in two like a twig. That accident killed a mother and her son, and he could never forgive himself. I went to jail and made a deal to come here...and he just couldn't live with it anymore. He couldn't bare the fact that he'd played a hand in something like that, it was always just a game to us. But the truth of the matter is, of all the guys I've seen die over the years, he's the only one that I can't drink to the fond memories of. It isn't your choice when it's time to go, and I don't care what you think. No friend of mine gets to take that way out, never again. And if I have to stay here all night to make sure you don't, you better believe I will."
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Post by ĸara вelova★ on Mar 6, 2010 12:01:59 GMT -5
He wanted for her all the same things she couldn't say aloud. It was surreal, to hear the words spoken, to hear someone else give a damn. Kara usually shied away from attention, but the burning heat from his stare was like sunlight to her pale face. She couldn't look at him still, but she could feel the intensity radiating from him.
And then he talked about his own story. There were a million things she could have said, from scathing and insensitive to more sympathetic than either of them knew her capable of. But to spare both their feelings she just nodded to show she understood, though did nothing to indicate she cared.
But there was one word he said that made her ears perk up. Friend. What was that, again? Her and Leo weren't friends. They weren't even admiring acquaintances. But he seemed to categorize her in that direction, and she wondered why Leo was doing more for her than the boy who had claimed to be her friend ever had.
"I'm not suicidal," She spoke up at last, smirking as though this were absurd. Truthfully, Kara had wondered if suicide would be the painless way out, but some small part of her wondered 'What if?'. What if she wasn't doomed to die, and she took her life for no reason? What if she actually could have a long life? Above everything that Kara was and was not, she was abominably selfish. She couldn't stand to take her own life, not when she could blame it on someone else. So that option was out, and she thought she should let Leo know. He didn't need the reasoning behind her decision, and he didn't need to believe her. She just thought she'd tell him anyway. Another half-truth.
She thought about Cameron, the boy Leo had no fond memories of. Her cool smirk turned into something softer - a smile? - before it flickered off her lips altogether. She stood, and flinched slightly when she saw how close Leo was. Was there even a foot between them? She didn't think so. How had he drawn so near without her noticing? Disoriented, the thin brunette leaned against the chair she'd just stood up from for balance, and looked up. She still couldn't look him in the eye, but his chin was a good start.
"Let's go out." Out like... a date? Or just out of the classroom? Kara was careful to never specify anything, something Leo no doubt knew by now. Not that this would stop his frustration. She turned away from him, and knelt down to retrieve the violin case. Packaging her instrument away with a tenderness no one would think possible from the brash girl, Kara noticed her hands trembling. Was she cold? She couldn't feel. That was strange.
"We'll drink to the fond memories you could have had with Cameron."
Yes, Kara was very different today. She didn't argue with him, didn't fight, didn't demand he leave, didn't cuss him out. She was cooperative and almost... nice? Semi-social, as though she suddenly decided to start practicing her people skills. Her hand pressed against his arm as she pushed past him in the small aisle of chairs and desks to make for the door. The contact sent a more forceful connection of his emotion, and she jumped involuntarily. That was weird too. She was numb to physical feeling, but emotionally... it seemed like she was super sensitive. She might think about seeing the doctor if she was a normal person, but instead she tucked it away in the back of her mind for personal study later.
"Coming?"
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Post by Leogare Lasteulf on Mar 6, 2010 21:43:22 GMT -5
Kara was acting so odd, so full of emotion now. Her shields and walls crumbling down. He was glad to hear she wasn't going to go drown herself or something, but she still seemed so troubled.
"Go out? Good start. Let's live a little before we die." He said with a smile. An oddly poetic saying for the foolish womanizer. Maybe Kara wasn't the only one who put up walls.
"Drink to fond memories...hah maybe so. Or maybe make some memories worth remembering for you. C'mon, I promise that a night on the town with me'll be something you'll never forget!" He said, practically springing over the desks to the door. He added at the end.
"Oh there is just one condition." He paused for a moment with a mischievous grin.
"I'm driving." The last girl to ride on his bike was Eve, and he wanted to really give her some thing to remember. That meant it needed to be exciting, and more important, memorable.
"So let's ride, I know the best places in town!"
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Post by ĸara вelova★ on Mar 8, 2010 15:00:36 GMT -5
It was foreign to her, being social. Kara couldn't help but roll her eyes at Leo's cheesy cliche's. His promise that she would never forget tonight did excite her, and although she'd never say it out loud, the alien emotion illuminated her eyes, making her look just a little less awful.
She nearly tripped over herself following him - damn his speed and grace! - and then almost broke her nose on his chest when he stopped to deliver his condition. She held back a snort. He was acting as though this was a treat, like spending a night with him was something she should be panting at the thought of. Typical, cocky, teenage boy! But instead of call him on it, or refuse to take his condition, she just nodded, unsure. She seemed a bit wary now, but his excitement permeated the air between them and revved her up again.
"W-where's your car," Kara struggled after him, her violin case rapping against one of the desks she strayed too close to. She resisted the urge to reach out to him, to grab his hand. Although it might stabilize her, she didn't think direct contact was a good idea at the moment. She could already feel how invigorated he was through her automatic emotion detector - she didn't need it magnified by touching him. And who knows - what if she betrayed just how much hope she had on this evening? Kara usually never let herself get her hopes up because she always knew she'd be disappointed. It was too late now - if Leo wound up letting her down, she would be hurt.
Tonight had to be memorable.
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Post by Leogare Lasteulf on Mar 8, 2010 19:29:22 GMT -5
Kara looked alive when Leo met her gaze. The idea of it made hims mile too, she looked pretty cute with that fire in her eyes. He turned back around, pretending he hadn't noticed. Leo grinned, but since he was in front of Kara she couldn't see it. "My car? Oh you'll see..." He led her down to the garage, where he paused for a moment, looking at her violin case. "Hmm, think I have enough room to store that, it'll be difficult to hold it while we driving." He said with a wry smirk. "Oh yeah, about my 'car'" He said, pulling a tarp off of the mound he was conveniently standing next to, exposing a beautiful silver [red]cruiser[/red]. "It isn't a car. This is my baby." He pulled out a helmet from the side of the bike and went to exchange it for her case. "Can't have any fun if you aren't willing to take at least a few risks eh? Every ridden on one of these?" He asked with the grin on his face, as if asking some silent question. He wasn't sure if she was willing to take the chance, but what else could be more memorable? |
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Post by ĸara вelova★ on Mar 10, 2010 14:47:10 GMT -5
As they reached the garage, Kara could actually feel her heart pounding in her chest. Its pace made her hands shake even more, and she clenched them into fists in an attempt to stop the trembling. When he examined her violin case, she looked down at it. It wasn't that big - it could fit in the back seat...
Then Leo whipped the tarp off a shapeless mound, and her heart actually stopped. Then it started up again at a rate that would make a hummingbird jealous.
The violin case was replaced with the bulky orb Leo handed her. She lifted it with a bit of difficulty and turned it around in her hands. She saw it without really seeing it. It was almost like an out-of-body experience. He asked her if she'd ever ridden a motorcycle before. The dumbfounded look on her face should have answered him, but instead she managed a sarcastic, "All the time." Did he only have one helmet? Was he going to wear one? She would rather he wore the thing. She was the one doomed to die, and she didn't want him to die prematurely if he didn't have to.
This realization surprised her. Was she actually thinking selflessly? Something was wrong with her, Leo was right about that. She twisted the helmet so it was the right way around and gingerly placed it on her head. Kara discovered she didn't like having things over her ears, but she preferred it over having her brain smeared across the busy streets of New York. She wished she'd brought a jacket; she couldn't imagine flying through the night air on the back of a gigantic bike would be very warm. But maybe her numbness to touch would make her immune to the cold too. She didn't comment, and instead eyed the monstrous chunk of metal with a wary expression.
"You sure you can drive this thing?" She stepped an inch toward it tentatively.
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Post by Leogare Lasteulf on Mar 15, 2010 19:32:20 GMT -5
Leo laughed at her usual sarcasm. "All the time eh? Well then you wanna take a turn at the wheel?" He gestured to the front seat with a grin, he knew the answer and hopped into the front seat anyway. "Come on then, it won't bite. And don't worry about me, I trust in my own abilities. I just wouldn't let anyone else make the risk I do. So come on then, I know some good places downtown."
He started the engine with a roar, and noticed she still had not climbed on. "Scared?" He asked her, a slightly teasing grin on his face.
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Post by ĸara вelova★ on Mar 15, 2010 23:10:28 GMT -5
She instinctively shied away from his offer for her to drive, even knowing he was joking. Being in control of something so dangerous was not a good idea on any level, even the humourous. She watched him hop on with lithe skill, and that flash of envy sparked within her. His confidence was convincing, however, and she took another step forward.
Then the thing roared to life, and Kara jumped a mile high, and even let out a very uncharacteristic shriek. When it came to pain and shocking trauma, no one could get a peep out of her. She should have known he'd start the machine upon mounting it, but she was completely unprepared for the magnitude of its awakening cry. Luckily the majority of her slip was swallowed by the volume of the growling motor, and if Leo commented she would deny it til she was blue in the face.
Then he turned to look at her, obviously wondering what was taking her so long to do something. That smirk and that insinuation provoked her, and she connected the clasp of the helmet below her chin. With a click no one could hear over the motorcycle, Kara awkwardly but determinedly crawled onto the raised seat behind Leo. She put as much distance between them as possible, not thinking logically and instead worrying about how her gift would spike with an uncomfortable link between their emotions the moment she touched him.
"Ok!" She shouted above the noise, hardly giving her consent. Her teeth ground together tightly, and she squeezed the sides of the bike with her thighs, hoping that it would be enough to keep her from falling off.
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